The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
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29-09-2015, 12:37 PM
The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
I have recently had a revelation and it is this. It is possible to read the New Testament literally if you accept certain customs and traditions which we don't adhere to anymore.

For instance, we read the New Testament and Jesus is said to be from the royal line of David and we know that the Jews were in Egypt. Josephus says the Hebrews were Hyksos and from Armenia which makes them Assyrians/Sumerians.

That's the starting point. So, Egypt was invaded by a people called the Sea People who may have been the Hyksos. Let's say that this people become the Pharoahs and build the pyramids because pyramids were previously built in Ur down in Sumeria and Abraham is supposedly from Ur.

Then we have the tradition of royal incest in that, for instance, Achnatan and Nefertiti were brother and sister.

Here goes. Ralph Ellis says that the Jewish captivity ended when Queen Helen (I think was her name) murdered her Persian husband and took her own son as her husband, King Abgharus. Suppose they had a child? A girl. Call her Mary.

Ellis then says that this king is taken to Rome for 14 years as a hostage to ensure the loyalty of these people who have settled around Palmyra. He is then released.

Now, we go to the New Testament and we find Mary telling her cousin that she has been visited by the "lord". This would, if the "lord"were, as in Egypt, a Pharonic ruler who was a "man-god". In other words, this Mary has had sex with the "King" who could have been her own father or brother, or both. She then has a son.

Mary is then with Joseph who is plainly not the father of the child. Later another Mary turns up as Mary Magdelaine and she is considered to be a bit disreputable and the disciples ask why Jesus likes her more than them. The answer is that Mary Magdelaine is the same person as the Virgin Mary. She has a bad reputation because obviously she has had sex out of marriage and she is liked by Jesus because she is his mother.

Then we find Jesus at the Marriage at Cana. This is, in fact, Jesus marrying his own mother, just as King Abgharus married his own mother.

Then, we see Jesus being arrested at Gethsemane and a young man runs away dropping a sheet he is wearing so he is naked. So, Jesus has spent his last night with a naked boy.

So, what is this? Jesus marries his own mother and his father is his mother's brother and father. Jesus is also bisexual or gay.

Question: What do you call this gig?

Answer: The Aristocrats
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29-09-2015, 12:51 PM (This post was last modified: 29-09-2015 01:47 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
Facepalm
Are you on drugs ?

It's the Aristocats.
[Image: open-uri20150422-12561-1kzwgh8_85a1bb75.jpeg]

What a buncha CRAP. We don't know most of what you claim we "know". Josephus was in the employ of Rome. He is totally unreliable. He knew nothing about the REAL history of the Hebrews. He knew the "party line". It would help if you knew at least *something* about ancient History. Instead you endlessly connect unrelated dots in the most random way possbly immaginable. You are hysterical. Maybe if you or your hero had actually ever REALLY studied history, and been subjected to review and guidance from other real historians, you wouldn't spout such utter tripe and nonsense. Sumeria is UP, (not down) from Egypt, you idiot. The Jewish captivity ended when the Persian emperor decided it would be to his advantage to have a buffer state between his country and the invading Sea Peoples, (who were NOT the
Hyksos).

What do we call this "gig". Yet another pile of made-up fantasy that needs some dragons and vampires from db.
Is it real history ?
LMAO.




Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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29-09-2015, 01:39 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
The Aristocrats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGA0dIz9-Wk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats
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29-09-2015, 01:48 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
That could be the longest set up for that joke I've ever seen.

Nice one.

Big Grin

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29-09-2015, 01:51 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
(29-09-2015 01:39 PM)Deltabravo Wrote:  The Aristocrats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGA0dIz9-Wk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats

That's the very first thing I thought of. Laugh out load

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436078/

Very funny movie.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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29-09-2015, 01:52 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
Actually, Bucky, Sumeria or Ur is on the Persian or Arabian Gulf near Basra. As it dried out and became the desert it is today the people would have had to move north and Assyria, Greater Armenia is north of Ur in southern Iraq. Then, if you look at a map you will see that Egypt is down and to the left of Syria.

Have a look, you'll thank me.
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29-09-2015, 01:54 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
You see, Bucky, royal incest is possible and factual. Mary having sex with a metaphysical being is actually impossible.

Think about it.
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29-09-2015, 01:57 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
now for the hard part

Mary Magdelaine is the Virgin Mary:

http://www.metrum.org/gosen/whomagdalene.htm
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29-09-2015, 01:58 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
Jesus married Mary Magdelaine

https://www.rt.com/news/203895-jesus-vir...y-married/

More later.
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29-09-2015, 02:56 PM
RE: The Aristocrats- The New Testament read literally
I knew this fool was serious and actually connecting more immaginary dots. Facepalm

Anything is possible. There is not one ligitmate scholar on the planet that says Mary Magdlene was the mother of Jesus. Not one.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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