The Ballad ofJesus Christ
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17-06-2012, 09:15 AM
The Ballad ofJesus Christ
I know this might sound shocking to thiests but put yourself in the man's shoes for a moment.First off,he was sent to a foster family pre-birth,which is the worst thing a dad could do pre or post birth.

Its not like He was overwhelmed,though a single dad,he is the richest in the universe having created it and rented it to man.Despite all this He sent Jesus to a poverty-stricken white trash family in the ghetto of Bethlehem and was never known to send any child support so Jesus' new family moved to an even shittier house in Nazareth.

After a shitty childhood where nobody believed he was God's child and his foster dad bailing on him,his foster mother taught him some magic tricks as a way to con people(remember his Joseph had bailed and women didnt work) but poor Jesus thought the tricks were miracles from his real dad in heaven.

He was then told to work for his dad whom he had never seen,thinking it was his fate he gullibly accepted not knowing the Jewish leaders' plans to kill him and even after this knowledge,he did it.At this point Jesus would do anything to meet his real father.

He then went mad with power and started showing off and pissing off the innocent authority figures thinking no one could stop him.Since he had no dad to guide him, he messed with the wrong people thinking he was indestructable.

Even as he knew his fate to die for mankind,he thought his Dad would at least make his trip not painful.This is when he realized unlike Clark Kent,he had no powers and could feel pain.Though a sword to the neck would have been easier,His own father had chosen the worst possible way to kill a ma at the time to end him.

His hatred is first clear on his last three hours on earth,when he is on a cross between two thieves having being stabbed,whipped,forced to carry a cross,nailed (not sexuallly) ,mocked,cursed and jeered thus dying as a virgin,who never had a childhood,devoted his whole work to somebody who stabbed him in his back and a misunderstood man as many would come to disprove his existence...He then yelled out,'Eloi Eloi Lama Sabachtani' translation-Father God why have you forsaken(forsook?),me?

That is how i see the life of this poor man who finds out that he his father might not have existed to begin with.
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17-06-2012, 09:21 AM
RE: The Ballad ofJesus Christ
Don't forget that he must have been hornier than a tree of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Seriously 30+ years and still no girl. Sad
Dying as a virgin was bad enough, but considering the kind of people he hung around with he was probably relieved at the end.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
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