The Cancer Sucks thread
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09-09-2017, 10:56 AM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
We've lost too many relatives and friends to various kinds of cancer. I'm gonna take this post as a reminder for both of us to look up when our last colonoscopies were to see if either of us are due again.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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09-09-2017, 12:40 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
As a cancer survivor myself (30 years) I can only agree that it's a bastard of a disease. My grandfather died at age 59 from prostate cancer, which in 1947 was generally a death sentence.

These are the latest available statistics that apply to Australia...

Cancer in Australia 2014.

One thing I note with despair, as a male, are these facts about cancer research in Australia...

"Since 2003 women's health research received more than $833 million from the National Health and Medical Research Council compared to less than $200 million for men. Breast cancer received $60 million more than prostate cancer, and ovarian cancer $64 million more than testicular cancer."
—News.com.au 3 January 2014.

Can I ask cynically (and probably provocatively) why the the various women's liberation movements aren't rising up in loud protest at this blatant reverse gender inequality—particularly considering that the rates of breast and prostate cancer deaths are at similar levels.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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09-09-2017, 02:01 PM (This post was last modified: 09-09-2017 03:03 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
Most of you know this story...

On July 14 of last year (2016) my MIL who was vibrant and lived on her own and was incredibly independent bought a new car, her first in 16 years. She joked it would be her last car.

Two weeks later she was in the hospital. She had two infections, at the time they believed those were responsible for her confusion (bladder infections in older people can do that). They convinced her to go to rehab. She walked into the rehab place on her own, had her things with her etc. A week later she couldn't get out of bed, she couldn't talk on the phone and wouldn't send text messages.

They spoke of dementia but it was weird and one doctor after we bitched up a storm suggested a CT scan of her brain.

So. they sent her to the hospital by ambulance, and her son (my husband) was working that night. He didn't do her scan, but he glanced at the images (he was busy with other patients) and sent a text to me. Meanwhile the chief Neurosurgeon walked into MIL's room with the ER doctor and said they found a pair of tumors at the base of her skull in the back. Nearly anywhere else they could have operated. But that area was a no go. They were causing spinal fluid to back up -- which in turn was causing all her symptoms.

Meanwhile I'm texting my husband to get over to the ER (again, he was working). Before he came over he looked at his mom's scans again more closer this time and knew everything before he walked into the room.

Of course the Neuro didn't know that this was his mom. Things got a bit awkward because you're expecting to give terrible news to some random patient's family and not the guy you see all the time in CT. They prescribed a steroid to limit the swelling and she improved within days but was told she couldn't go home. so we looked and made arrangements to move her into Assisted Living. We picked a place close to our house that was nice and highly rated.

The following week were spent going to see an oncologist. Who also referred her to a radiation oncologist. He said he no opinion of Radiation. He pushed for chemo, and laid out all the stuff regarding that. That appointment was set up, MIL said she wanted to wait before deciding on chemo.

This annoyed the oncologist. The radiation oncologist was waaaaay nicer and laid it all out. She explained because of the location the radiation could cause swelling and that could leave her with more problems in the months following treatment (because swelling occurs slowly). So, a couple months later she could be worse than she was at the time.

Chemo doesn't cross to the brain so it's useless for that.

So armed with this information she took a weekend to think it over. She came to our house (a year ago in week) for lunch and drinks for the last time. She was moving around wonderfully, just using a cane and said she decided to not do anything. We were kinda shocked and had already been working on transportation for Radiation therapy appointments and organizing which of us would go with her for her PET scan they wanted to do.

She would rather have a couple really good months or even weeks, than linger in a bed for six months to a year.

My husband cancelled all the upcoming appointments which led to a call from the oncologist. Remember he said he had no opinion on radiation but now was full of opinions. He insisted that he talk to her. she decided to go for one last appointment. He tried to convince her to go forward with chemo...she reminded him using her notes that he already told her that chemo won't cross into the brain. He said that was correct. She said isn't this thing in my brain going to kill me before the cancer in the rest of my body will get around to it? We're talking about getting maybe a year more if she did both. Not a cure and it could be that these treatments left her worse off than she was at the moment. She knew and understood that she couldn't keep taking the steroids and they'd only continue working for 2-3 months...

The appointment ended pretty much right there. He transferred her to palliative care (which was totally wrong he should have transferred her to hospice which caused more hoops to go through later).

She had about two really good months, one moderately good one. In early November she began to spiral downward. By December she was completely bedridden and only somewhat lucid (weather kept us away a few days but for the most part we were there daily). Just before Christmas Eve she had a day where she slept the whole day and we really thought it was over but the next day she woke. She was looking better, ate everything she wanted and then went to sleep that night. The next day she was unresponsive. and lingered for a week. My husband didn't go back once she was unresponsive -- because what was the actual point?

We would call frequently though for updates from hospice (they also were instructed to call us if she did regain consciousness, and we could have been there in three minutes) . On the 29th we got a call that she had passed. They had already called the funeral home.

That morning later, we went to get all her stuff out.

So yeah cancer does fucking suck.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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09-09-2017, 02:39 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
(09-09-2017 02:01 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Most of you know this story...

On July 14 of last year (2016) my MIL who was vibrant and lived on her own and was incredibly independent.

Two weeks later she was in the hospital. She had two infections, at the time they believed those were responsible for her confusion (bladder infections in older people can do that). They convinced her to go to rehab. She walked into the rehab place on her own, had her things with her etc. A week later she couldn't get out of bed, she couldn't talk on the phone and wouldn't send text messages.

They spoke of dementia but it was weird and one doctor after we bitched up a storm suggested a CT scan of her brain.

So. they sent her to the hospital by ambulance, and her son (my husband) was working that night. He didn't do her scan, but he glanced at the images (he was busy with other patients) and sent a text to me. Meanwhile the chief Neurosurgeon walked into MIL's room with the ER doctor and said they found a pair of tumors at the base of her skull in the back. Nearly anywhere else they could have operated. But that area was a no go. They were causing spinal fluid to back up -- which in turn was causing all her symptoms.

Meanwhile I'm texting my husband to get over to the ER (again, he was working). Before he came over he looked at his mom's scans again more closer this time and knew everything before he walked into the room.

Of course the Neuro didn't know that this was his mom. Things got a bit awkward because you're expecting to give terrible news to some random patient's family and not the guy you see all the time in CT. They prescribed a steroid to limit the swelling and she improved within days but was told she couldn't go home. so we looked and made arrangements to move her into Assisted Living. We picked a place close to our house that was nice and highly rated.

The following week were spent going to see an oncologist. Who also referred her to a radiation oncologist. He said he no opinion of Radiation. He pushed for chemo, and laid out all the stuff regarding that. That appointment was set up, MIL said she wanted to wait before deciding on chemo.

This annoyed the oncologist. The radiation oncologist was waaaaay nicer and laid it all out. She explained because of the location the radiation could cause swelling and that could leave her with more problems in the months following treatment (because swelling occurs slowly). So, a couple months later she could be worse than she was at the time.

Chemo doesn't cross to the brain so it's useless for that.

So armed with this information she took a weekend to think it over. She came to our house (a year ago in week) for lunch and drinks for the last time. She was moving around wonderfully, just using a cane and said she decided to not do anything. We were kinda shocked and had already been working on transportation for Radiation therapy appointments and organizing which of us would go with her for her PET scan they wanted to do.

She would rather have a couple really good months or even weeks, than linger in a bed for six months to a year.

My husband cancelled all the upcoming appointments which led to a call from the oncologist. Remember he said he had no opinion on radiation but now was full of opinions. He insisted that he talk to her. she decided to go for one last appointment. He tried to convince her to go forward with chemo...she reminded him using her notes that he already told her that chemo won't cross into the brain. He said that was correct. She said isn't this thing in my brain going to kill me before the cancer in the rest of my body will get around to it? We're talking about getting maybe a year more if she did both. Not a cure and it could be that these treatments left her worse off than she was at the moment. She knew and understood that she couldn't keep taking the steroids and they'd only continue working for 2-3 months...

The appointment ended pretty much right there. He transferred her to palliative care (which was totally wrong he should have transferred her to hospice which caused more hoops to go through later).

She had about two really good months, one moderately good one. In early November she began to spiral downward. By December she was completely bedridden and only somewhat lucid (weather kept us away a few days but for the most part we were there daily). Just before Christmas Eve she had a day where she slept the whole day and we really thought it was over but the next day she woke. She was looking better, ate everything she wanted and then went to sleep that night. The next day she was unresponsive. and lingered for a week. My husband didn't go back once she was unresponsive -- because what was the actual point?

We would call frequently though for updates from hospice (they also were instructed to call us if she did regain consciousness, and we could have been there in three minutes) . On the 29th we got a call that she had passed. They had already called the funeral home.

That morning later, we went to get all her stuff out.

So yeah cancer does fucking suck.

I don't blame her, I would have made the same decision given the circumstances. I would, however, also have made use of the death with dignity act and chosen to exit when I got bedridden.

This is such a personal decision. It's one of the most important decisions we will ever make (unless we leave it in god's hands. Unsure ). It's so important then not to be at cross purposes with one's loved ones. Since she can't anymore, I want to thank you for respecting her decision.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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09-09-2017, 02:42 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
(09-09-2017 12:40 PM)SYZ Wrote:  particularly considering that the rates of breast and prostate cancer deaths are at similar levels.

I wonder what they are doing differently in your country then. The occurrences are wildly different in the US.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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09-09-2017, 02:44 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
They say everyone is touched by cancer at some point, if only by knowing someone who has it. So far, I've escaped actually having the nasty shit, but:

In 2008, my mother died of lung cancer.

In 2014, my younger brother died of lung cancer, a few months short of his 58th birthday.

A few months later in 2014, my father died of bladder cancer.

In 2015, my older brother died of lung cancer, just a few weeks after his 62nd birthday.

That's my entire family. I'm the only one left.

I also lost a good friend a few years ago (lung cancer again).

Having been a fairly heavy smoker for 30 years or so (although I've been smoke-free since 2003), I'm a prime candidate myself.

Cancer sucks.
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09-09-2017, 03:22 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
(09-09-2017 02:39 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(09-09-2017 02:01 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Most of you know this story...

On July 14 of last year (2016) my MIL who was vibrant and lived on her own and was incredibly independent.

Two weeks later she was in the hospital. She had two infections, at the time they believed those were responsible for her confusion (bladder infections in older people can do that). They convinced her to go to rehab. She walked into the rehab place on her own, had her things with her etc. A week later she couldn't get out of bed, she couldn't talk on the phone and wouldn't send text messages.

They spoke of dementia but it was weird and one doctor after we bitched up a storm suggested a CT scan of her brain.

So. they sent her to the hospital by ambulance, and her son (my husband) was working that night. He didn't do her scan, but he glanced at the images (he was busy with other patients) and sent a text to me. Meanwhile the chief Neurosurgeon walked into MIL's room with the ER doctor and said they found a pair of tumors at the base of her skull in the back. Nearly anywhere else they could have operated. But that area was a no go. They were causing spinal fluid to back up -- which in turn was causing all her symptoms.

Meanwhile I'm texting my husband to get over to the ER (again, he was working). Before he came over he looked at his mom's scans again more closer this time and knew everything before he walked into the room.

Of course the Neuro didn't know that this was his mom. Things got a bit awkward because you're expecting to give terrible news to some random patient's family and not the guy you see all the time in CT. They prescribed a steroid to limit the swelling and she improved within days but was told she couldn't go home. so we looked and made arrangements to move her into Assisted Living. We picked a place close to our house that was nice and highly rated.

The following week were spent going to see an oncologist. Who also referred her to a radiation oncologist. He said he no opinion of Radiation. He pushed for chemo, and laid out all the stuff regarding that. That appointment was set up, MIL said she wanted to wait before deciding on chemo.

This annoyed the oncologist. The radiation oncologist was waaaaay nicer and laid it all out. She explained because of the location the radiation could cause swelling and that could leave her with more problems in the months following treatment (because swelling occurs slowly). So, a couple months later she could be worse than she was at the time.

Chemo doesn't cross to the brain so it's useless for that.

So armed with this information she took a weekend to think it over. She came to our house (a year ago in week) for lunch and drinks for the last time. She was moving around wonderfully, just using a cane and said she decided to not do anything. We were kinda shocked and had already been working on transportation for Radiation therapy appointments and organizing which of us would go with her for her PET scan they wanted to do.

She would rather have a couple really good months or even weeks, than linger in a bed for six months to a year.

My husband cancelled all the upcoming appointments which led to a call from the oncologist. Remember he said he had no opinion on radiation but now was full of opinions. He insisted that he talk to her. she decided to go for one last appointment. He tried to convince her to go forward with chemo...she reminded him using her notes that he already told her that chemo won't cross into the brain. He said that was correct. She said isn't this thing in my brain going to kill me before the cancer in the rest of my body will get around to it? We're talking about getting maybe a year more if she did both. Not a cure and it could be that these treatments left her worse off than she was at the moment. She knew and understood that she couldn't keep taking the steroids and they'd only continue working for 2-3 months...

The appointment ended pretty much right there. He transferred her to palliative care (which was totally wrong he should have transferred her to hospice which caused more hoops to go through later).

She had about two really good months, one moderately good one. In early November she began to spiral downward. By December she was completely bedridden and only somewhat lucid (weather kept us away a few days but for the most part we were there daily). Just before Christmas Eve she had a day where she slept the whole day and we really thought it was over but the next day she woke. She was looking better, ate everything she wanted and then went to sleep that night. The next day she was unresponsive. and lingered for a week. My husband didn't go back once she was unresponsive -- because what was the actual point?

We would call frequently though for updates from hospice (they also were instructed to call us if she did regain consciousness, and we could have been there in three minutes) . On the 29th we got a call that she had passed. They had already called the funeral home.

That morning later, we went to get all her stuff out.

So yeah cancer does fucking suck.

I don't blame her, I would have made the same decision given the circumstances. I would, however, also have made use of the death with dignity act and chosen to exit when I got bedridden.

This is such a personal decision. It's one of the most important decisions we will ever make (unless we leave it in god's hands. Unsure ). It's so important then not to be at cross purposes with one's loved ones. Since she can't anymore, I want to thank you for respecting her decision.

We looked into it for her, but she, while being extremely pregmatic about everything, resisted that. We weren't fussed by it really. She was driving her own bus.

We hardly saw her while she felt good, except to bring her stuff. She was out all the time with her boyfriend. He didn't leave until thanksgiving and by that time she was spiraling down. Her hairdresser even came to the place to do her hair in the room (not sure how much that cost her but we didn't care, she didn't bother with having it colored or permanents -- the weekly hair thing was just that important).


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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09-09-2017, 03:30 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
I have a doctors appointment next week I'm due for a prostate check maybe they can do it while I'm there.
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09-09-2017, 03:43 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
(09-09-2017 03:30 PM)pablo Wrote:  I have a doctors appointment next week I'm due for a prostate check maybe they can do it while I'm there.

> I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in 2008. Soon afterward, I underwent a radical prostatectomy and six weeks' follow-up radiation treatment. I have been cancer free ever since then, but I still undergo cancer screening twice a year.
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09-09-2017, 04:21 PM
RE: The Cancer Sucks thread
(09-09-2017 03:30 PM)pablo Wrote:  I have a doctors appointment next week I'm due for a prostate check maybe they can do it while I'm there.

In 2017, it's estimated that 16,665 new cases of prostate cancer will be diagnosed in Australia, and that's with a small adult male population of around 7.5 million. Confused

And yep, it's only a gloved, lubricated finger up yer bum. And don't be embarrassed if you get a woody; the docs have seen it all, but the awkwardness of the scenario usually kills it off. Good luck.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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