The Hetero-Nomative Box
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19-07-2013, 05:16 PM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(19-07-2013 05:02 PM)nach_in Wrote:  OH!!! btw!! omnisexual is a term coined in Dr Who to define the sexual orientation of the Captain Jack Harness, he was sexually attracted to every gender of every species of every planet in the universe... O.o
I see. When I looked it up it said it meant the same as pansexual. Did this Captain actually fuck every species in the universe, or was he just potentially attracted to them?
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19-07-2013, 05:33 PM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(19-07-2013 05:16 PM)amyb Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 05:02 PM)nach_in Wrote:  OH!!! btw!! omnisexual is a term coined in Dr Who to define the sexual orientation of the Captain Jack Harness, he was sexually attracted to every gender of every species of every planet in the universe... O.o
I see. When I looked it up it said it meant the same as pansexual. Did this Captain actually fuck every species in the universe, or was he just potentially attracted to them?

he was promiscuous, so... yeah, well, not every species, but a lot Tongue

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19-07-2013, 07:10 PM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(19-07-2013 03:10 PM)nach_in Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 02:58 PM)Chas Wrote:  But you don't have to explain yourself. Why are you doing this?

Yes I do need to explain, they want to understand, if people don't understand then the whole equality thing is just a masochistic battle to occupy the victim role in a sick way.
Equality doesn't come from some paper signed by some politicians, or some forced acceptance of two guys holding hands. It needs to be a deep and as universal as possible understanding that we are all equal because we're all different from each other. And that's a hard concept to understand for a lot of people.

OK, fine - you're on a crusade for understanding. That takes effort.

My sexual orientation, preferences, etc. are nobody's fuckin' business until I say so.

And their opinions or assumptions are none of my business.

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19-07-2013, 07:14 PM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(19-07-2013 07:10 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 03:10 PM)nach_in Wrote:  Yes I do need to explain, they want to understand, if people don't understand then the whole equality thing is just a masochistic battle to occupy the victim role in a sick way.
Equality doesn't come from some paper signed by some politicians, or some forced acceptance of two guys holding hands. It needs to be a deep and as universal as possible understanding that we are all equal because we're all different from each other. And that's a hard concept to understand for a lot of people.

OK, fine - you're on a crusade for understanding. That takes effort.

My sexual orientation, preferences, etc. are nobody's fuckin' business until I say so.

Well, that's the thing, I don't want to be on a crusade But given the situation, I think the best thing to do is to explain, there lies the problem, the situations gives annoyingly frequently Tongue

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20-07-2013, 05:12 AM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(19-07-2013 07:14 PM)nach_in Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 07:10 PM)Chas Wrote:  OK, fine - you're on a crusade for understanding. That takes effort.

My sexual orientation, preferences, etc. are nobody's fuckin' business until I say so.

Well, that's the thing, I don't want to be on a crusade But given the situation, I think the best thing to do is to explain, there lies the problem, the situations gives annoyingly frequently Tongue

I would say that I'm having trouble imagining the situations. Consider

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20-07-2013, 05:24 AM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(20-07-2013 05:12 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 07:14 PM)nach_in Wrote:  Well, that's the thing, I don't want to be on a crusade But given the situation, I think the best thing to do is to explain, there lies the problem, the situations gives annoyingly frequently Tongue

I would say that I'm having trouble imagining the situations. Consider

People gives me weird looks everytime I make clear I'm gay, and they start conversations about homosexuality whether I like it or not... And I thin that the best way to approach that is to explain things to them as best as I can. The problem is that even my friends get weirded out some times, even more new people... That's why assumptions are important.
If people don't assume so much so quickly, then maybe it would be easier to talk about personal things without making a political statement

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20-07-2013, 05:54 AM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(20-07-2013 05:24 AM)nach_in Wrote:  
(20-07-2013 05:12 AM)Chas Wrote:  I would say that I'm having trouble imagining the situations. Consider

People gives me weird looks everytime I make clear I'm gay, and they start conversations about homosexuality whether I like it or not... And I thin that the best way to approach that is to explain things to them as best as I can. The problem is that even my friends get weirded out some times, even more new people... That's why assumptions are important.
If people don't assume so much so quickly, then maybe it would be easier to talk about personal things without making a political statement

What are those situations where you feel compelled to make it clear that you're gay?

Even if they start conversations, you can end them.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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20-07-2013, 06:09 AM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(20-07-2013 05:54 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(20-07-2013 05:24 AM)nach_in Wrote:  People gives me weird looks everytime I make clear I'm gay, and they start conversations about homosexuality whether I like it or not... And I thin that the best way to approach that is to explain things to them as best as I can. The problem is that even my friends get weirded out some times, even more new people... That's why assumptions are important.
If people don't assume so much so quickly, then maybe it would be easier to talk about personal things without making a political statement

What are those situations where you feel compelled to make it clear that you're gay?

Even if they start conversations, you can end them.

Yes of course I can end them, it's not a life or death thing.

I have to make clear I'm gay every time I want to talk about my personal life, it's necessary if I want people to understand me...

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20-07-2013, 07:03 PM
RE: The Hetero-Nomative Box
(20-07-2013 06:09 AM)nach_in Wrote:  Yes of course I can end them, it's not a life or death thing.

I have to make clear I'm gay every time I want to talk about my personal life, it's necessary if I want people to understand me...

Yeah, and that's the thing with heteronormativity. If I had a dollar for every time someone I hadn't talked to in years asked me if I'd "found a husband yet," I could at least buy a pizza and some wings. I'm not gay though (I am aromantic), but the point is that people make assumptions about people based on their expectations of everybody wanting to be in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage with 2.5 kids, and if that doesn't describe you, you may very well feel the need to set the record straight. Likewise, in college friends would decide I must be miserable being single, so they would try to set me up with guys. This also required explaining myself to them.

I dunno about the situations in which Nach_in has to explain he's gay, but I don't find it surprising.

It doesn't mean non-heteronormative folks are going around screaming about how gay they are, but rather, responding to assumptions they aren't. Which may or may not matter, but in my case, I got really, really sick of people assuming I'd appreciate it if they tried to set me up with guys they knew, or telling me how sorry they feel for me because I'm "still single" and "don't have kids yet." (I put those in quotes because they are assuming I'd want to change these things; I'd describe myself as "happily single" and "childfree"). I prefer to explain myself in these cases because (1)I don't want them to set me up on blind dates, and (2) I don't want their fucking pity.
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