The Most Contradictive and Amusing Church Brochure Ever Left at my Door...
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26-04-2013, 12:07 AM
The Most Contradictive and Amusing Church Brochure Ever Left at my Door...
Normally I shrug off and toss out any attempt via a door to door brochure to draw me into Neverland Chapel, but this one I just noticed rolled within my door knob as I returned home from work is laughable and in my opinion worth sharing. Hailing from Grace Baptist...for once it's not from the Jehovah Witness Home down the street or the small Mormon staple, who I personally deal with almost every week; no this hails from Grace Baptist in Catawissa, MO. A regular single fold pamphlet.

The front: Reading as follows "Do you FEAR hell? Are you 100% sure you have a chance to get to HEAVEN? [Population Unlimited]" The words "fear" and "Heaven" are greatly enunciated, more amusing is how "heaven" is put on a Realtor sign post, I guess no one has "bought" the place yet. Open the pamphlet and...

"Here's how you can be 100% sure that you are going to heaven and not hell..."

1: Realize we are all sinners.


Admirable, equal merit between everyone. No superiority enforced.

2: Realize that there's a penalty for sinning, as Romans 6:23 states "For the wages of sin is death..."

this is where it gets contradictory....

3: Realize that Christ has already paid your sinful debt in full.

Stop right there and explain to me how number 2 then provides any influence upon my "wages" if in fact, according to 3, these "wages" become nonexistent and not dignified nor accountable.

4: Realize that you must receive by faith Jesus as your savior and accept his free gift of eternal life.

Let me flatten this line out a little....death pun....anyways....so accordingly....when you realize that mistakes are out of the spiritual influence of imaginary gods unless you shorten the word to 3 letters and allow yourself to be punished for it by exercising the same free will you deny them with as the one you acknowledge them with but only after affirming that you won't be punished anyways because your sinful waste of a life is already paid out in full as long you turn in your coupon for a second life before your current life's expiration date....even my neighbor's dog's fleas are scratching their heads at this one.

This little joyride concludes by folding the back flap to see the pastor's name, and phone number and service times, this side of the pamphlet might be the only hope it has going for it....if not for the service times being scratched out by a pen and replaced with a different time that precedes it only by 30 minutes.

I'm sure I'm the only one who finds this overly amusing, it's been awhile since religion has made me laugh frankly.

Leviticus does not justify stupidity, but it is more than enough to define corruption of the human mind.

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