The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
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07-12-2013, 11:55 AM
The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
Copied and pasted from a Facebook friend this morning...


Original Post (Mrs. M.): "Got up this morning to be with Jesus (never get up early on Saturdays) and He blessed me with RAAAAAAIIIIIIN!!! xoxoxoxo--to you Jesus!!!"

(other poster): "Up because I woke you up huh? Tongue "

(Mrs. M.): "Yep. But, it's good. I could have gone back to bed but felt like I was given an opportunity to have some quiet time with God. Have been super rewarded by it. I have to remember that when I am obedient to the Holy Spirit, it doesn't go unseen. He sees the obedience. This morning he was quick to remind me that I am seen. xoxo"

(Mrs. M.): "Obedience, as much as disobedience, is seen. Seems like us Christians don't talk about it or notice it as much. "The Encourager" has encouraged me this morning Wink "

(another poster): "I saw the rain as a blessing today too. We do need to remember to seek God each day."

(Mrs. M.): "^Every morning, sister. It's the only food in the world that in it's absence I feel deprived in a way that I cannot explain."

(other poster): "Yes. I need to be more motivated to rise early, knowing there will be that reward and that FOOD!"

...
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07-12-2013, 11:58 AM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
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07-12-2013, 12:02 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
I'm curious, is Raptor Jesus a tenet of Pastafarianism, or a radical offshoot of the faith in his noodly appendages?

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
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07-12-2013, 12:16 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
Now here is the thing, if the rain is a "blessing" just for them, how would they feel if it didn't rain? Would that mean that "God" was not blessing them that day?

Also, a meteorologist could tell you the predicted chance it would rain a number of days ago, based on weather patterns, cloud formation, barometric pressure, wind speed and direction, temperatures of various atmospheric strata and location. That would mean that "God" a number of days in advance know that he was going to bless these people on this day. He know they were going to be worthy of it in advance. Predetermination?

And what if he set it all in motion, then they did something not worthy of a blessing. Would he have intervened and stopped the rain he had already sent on it's way days before?

If it's truly a blessing, then wouldn't it be more likely from "God" if it rained from a completely clear sky, rather than one that was already primed and likely to rain in the first place?

Wouldn't it be more miraculous if it didn't rain in those conditions, than that it did?

...
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07-12-2013, 12:22 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
(07-12-2013 12:02 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  I'm curious, is Raptor Jesus a tenet of Pastafarianism, or a radical offshoot of the faith in his noodly appendages?

I think he's a Pennetant?
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07-12-2013, 12:27 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
(07-12-2013 12:16 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  ...
Also, a meteorologist could tell you the predicted chance it would rain a number of days ago,
...

Meteorologists, sooth-sayers, witches... burn them for they are an abomination!

Drinking Beverage

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07-12-2013, 12:28 PM (This post was last modified: 07-12-2013 12:37 PM by Raptor Jesus.)
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
(07-12-2013 12:02 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  I'm curious, is Raptor Jesus a tenet of Pastafarianism, or a radical offshoot of the faith in his noodly appendages?

Raptor Jesus was sent to the earth when it was still populated with dinosaurs. When "God" was still a teenager he created the dinosaurs, which then went stomping all around and generally making a mess of things. So Raptor Jesus was sent to save the dinosaurs from themselves, mainly by teaching them that evolution is wrong, and ID is right. The dinosaurs didn't get it, so they went existence upon Raptor Jesus's crucifixion by the Romans.

There are many denominations of pastafarianism, Orthodox Monsterist Church of West Virginia and Southern Québec, Pastafarians of the Caribbean, the Flaspamonists of South Central Los Angeles, the Underground FSMer's of Westford, the Mystical Order of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Moomin Church of His Spaghettiness of Jersey (channel Islands), the other Moomon Church of His Spaghettiness, the Croxettians, the Giglish, the Cavetellists, and the open-minded, deeply Piratian First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Reformed Church of Alfredo.

There are bitter divides among various sects as to correct orthodoxy. But generally speaking, Raptor Jesus went extinct for our sins.

...
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07-12-2013, 12:41 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
Laugh out load hahahahaha HAHAHAHA
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07-12-2013, 12:42 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
(07-12-2013 12:28 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  Raptor Jesus was sent to the earth when it was still populated with dinosaurs. When "God" was still a teenager he created the dinosaurs, which then went stomping all around and generally making a mess of things. So Raptor Jesus was sent to save the dinosaurs from themselves, mainly by teaching them that evolution is wrong, and ID is right. The dinosaurs didn't get it, so they went existence upon Raptor Jesus's crucifixion by the Romans.

Are there Pastafarians who dont believe in Raptor Jesus but still believe in the FSM? Would they be considered heretics?

I like the sound of the Reformed Church of Alfredo

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
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07-12-2013, 12:57 PM
RE: The Mystery of Rainfall Discovered! (hint: it's not the hydrological cycle)
The whole Jesus love thing has always weirded me out, but this is the first time I heard of someone giving Jesus xoxo's. Since when does one want to kiss or embrace someone that they've never met or talked to, but at most saw pictures of?


Oh wait. . .


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