The Official Crying Thread
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04-10-2015, 02:20 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(04-10-2015 02:08 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  It is hitting me worse today. I got up and was doing some laundry and thought, "I need to make coffee, 'cause he's not here to do it." Dad would always make coffee in the morning for all of us. Sad

Hug sorry about your dad

Sadcryface so sweet of him to make coffee for everyone

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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04-10-2015, 02:46 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(04-10-2015 02:08 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  It is hitting me worse today. I got up and was doing some laundry and thought, "I need to make coffee, 'cause he's not here to do it." Dad would always make coffee in the morning for all of us. Sad

It's those moments that can punch you right in the gut.
Over time, those punches turn in to sometimes pleasant nudges. Really.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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04-10-2015, 02:59 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
I think the thing that gets me the most is the memories that fade. I can't easily picture my sister's face these days. Even when I look at photos she looks different than I remember Undecided

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-10-2015, 04:37 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
It's very odd grieving as an atheist. My family is having a whole other experience than I am. I feel bad for them, actually, that they think they will see him again. Surely it only delays grieving or stunts it somehow. I don't know. Makes me feel disconnected from them and that sucks. My family is very fundamentalist. I have this fear that my mom or others in my family will try to use my dad's death to guilt me back into the faith. The whole "do it for dad" thing - "It's what he would have wanted" etc. My dad did invite me to church, and there were times he'd be a little too persistent about it (not want to take "no" for an answer) but I also know my dad loved me no matter what. So, if they do try that stuff on me, I can let it go over my shoulder, I think.

More rambling. Undecided

Thanks, everybody. Hug

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04-10-2015, 10:56 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(04-10-2015 04:37 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  It's very odd grieving as an atheist. My family is having a whole other experience than I am. I feel bad for them, actually, that they think they will see him again. Surely it only delays grieving or stunts it somehow. I don't know. Makes me feel disconnected from them and that sucks. My family is very fundamentalist. I have this fear that my mom or others in my family will try to use my dad's death to guilt me back into the faith. The whole "do it for dad" thing - "It's what he would have wanted" etc. My dad did invite me to church, and there were times he'd be a little too persistent about it (not want to take "no" for an answer) but I also know my dad loved me no matter what. So, if they do try that stuff on me, I can let it go over my shoulder, I think.

More rambling. Undecided

Thanks, everybody. Hug

Hug

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-10-2015, 08:11 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
EA I'm so sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you
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07-10-2015, 08:08 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
Funeral was yesterday. Today I am just tired. I go back to work tomorrow.

Anyway, my best friend who recently moved to Austin came to the funeral and I had a good cry with her (and we went out to a restaurant last night before she had to head back - was so good to catch up with her) as well as with all the co-workers in my department. There were tons of people there which just goes to show that my dad touched a lot of lives and that a lot of people loved him.

All the religious stuff was annoying and I probably got more irritated by it than I should have. Rev pointed out that my dad was a religious man so of course the ceremony would have that stuff in it.

I haven't cried as much as I think I ought to have. It makes me wonder if I didn't love my dad as much as I thought I did... or something. There was a time when he was out of church and I thought that maybe, just maybe he was thinking things over or maybe he was secretly an atheist, but no such luck. So when he had started going back to church it's like I lost some respect for him. It is hard to respect any of my family. So this is shitty to say, but I feel like I come from a long line of cowards who never looked inward, never took the time to examine their beliefs, nothing. And they are all so proud of their religious heritage. It makes me sick. I am ashamed of it. And I still have anger toward my parents for indoctrinating me. I just don't get how they could have all gone so long in life with this shit and never questioned it, ever.

I am thinking of how Matt Dillahunty says that he wants to believe as many true things, and as few false things as possible. How could none of them have ever felt that way? I am angry too because they are all dealing with emotions they shouldn't have to go through. Mom keeps saying that god must have had a reason to take my dad so soon. She was begging god to bring him back when they (paramedics) were working on my dad on the ground. They're talking all this crap about how they have hope of seeing him again, but that there are those who do not have hope. I don't give a fuck about hope. I don't give a fuck about what feels good. What is true is that everything my dad ever was was in that box yesterday. He is gone and he is never coming back. He meant a lot to a lot of people and he went quick and in relatively little pain, on his land out in the country where he loved to be. And I know he loved me. I cannot ask for anything more than that.

More rambles... Hobo

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07-10-2015, 08:17 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(07-10-2015 08:08 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Funeral was yesterday. Today I am just tired. I go back to work tomorrow.

Anyway, my best friend who recently moved to Austin came to the funeral and I had a good cry with her (and we went out to a restaurant last night before she had to head back - was so good to catch up with her) as well as with all the co-workers in my department. There were tons of people there which just goes to show that my dad touched a lot of lives and that a lot of people loved him.

All the religious stuff was annoying and I probably got more irritated by it than I should have. Rev pointed out that my dad was a religious man so of course the ceremony would have that stuff in it.

I haven't cried as much as I think I ought to have. It makes me wonder if I didn't love my dad as much as I thought I did... or something. There was a time when he was out of church and I thought that maybe, just maybe he was thinking things over or maybe he was secretly an atheist, but no such luck. So when he had started going back to church it's like I lost some respect for him. It is hard to respect any of my family. So this is shitty to say, but I feel like I come from a long line of cowards who never looked inward, never took the time to examine their beliefs, nothing. And they are all so proud of their religious heritage. It makes me sick. I am ashamed of it. And I still have anger toward my parents for indoctrinating me. I just don't get how they could have all gone so long in life with this shit and never questioned it, ever.

I am thinking of how Matt Dillahunty says that he wants to believe as many true things, and as few false things as possible. How could none of them have ever felt that way? I am angry too because they are all dealing with emotions they shouldn't have to go through. Mom keeps saying that god must have had a reason to take my dad so soon. She was begging god to bring him back when they (paramedics) were working on my dad on the ground. They're talking all this crap about how they have hope of seeing him again, but that there are those who do not have hope. I don't give a fuck about hope. I don't give a fuck about what feels good. What is true is that everything my dad ever was was in that box yesterday. He is gone and he is never coming back. He meant a lot to a lot of people and he went quick and in relatively little pain, on his land out in the country where he loved to be. And I know he loved me. I cannot ask for anything more than that.

More rambles... Hobo

Sorry EA! Hug

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
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07-10-2015, 08:27 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(07-10-2015 08:08 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  He meant a lot to a lot of people and he went quick and in relatively little pain, on his land out in the country where he loved to be. And I know he loved me. I cannot ask for anything more than that.

That is beautiful. Heart Memories are all that live on, so treasure them.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-10-2015, 08:29 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(07-10-2015 08:08 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I haven't cried as much as I think I ought to have.

You will cry when the time is right for you...or not. Don't let guilt or 'ought to/should' thinking get in the way of grieving in your own way.

I am sorry that you have suffered this loss.

The emotions will come and go...you need to let them happen in their natural course.

Hugs.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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