The Official Crying Thread
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09-11-2015, 06:36 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 05:50 AM)dridlon Wrote:  Hey all

So my father died last week, times like this being an athiest sucks. But to tell the truth the thought of the afterlife is revoltingly silly especially for those that only come out and get all religous at funerals.

My Dad was anagnotic/athiest fence sitter with his legs on the athiest side. In fact he loved the flying spagetti monster (there will be a car embelem of FSM on his headstone as soon as it goes up.)

Really I want to know what does everyone here do when people assume relgious affliations? (Someone donated bibles in my fathers name he would have been horified). How also can you keep from screaming, he's dead gone just gone, everytime someone refers to him now being in heaven?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Sorry for your loss.

Realise that all the platitudes etc are people trying to find their own way to deal with your father's death. They say those things because they are scared (IMO), not to comfort you. They are trying to convince themselves that it's true. Donating bibles in his name seems a bit extreme though. Did they say why they thought it was appropriate? To whom were the bibles donated?

For myself... I tend not to rock the boat. Although it was hard at times, like at one point some old duck thought she was being nice when she implied that my sister was better off dead, otherwise something terrible might have happened to her. I had to laugh. Cos 'Young man punches octagenarian through wall' would probably not be the news headline my parents would like to see me featured in.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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09-11-2015, 07:10 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 06:36 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(09-11-2015 05:50 AM)dridlon Wrote:  Hey all

So my father died last week, times like this being an athiest sucks. But to tell the truth the thought of the afterlife is revoltingly silly especially for those that only come out and get all religous at funerals.

My Dad was anagnotic/athiest fence sitter with his legs on the athiest side. In fact he loved the flying spagetti monster (there will be a car embelem of FSM on his headstone as soon as it goes up.)

Really I want to know what does everyone here do when people assume relgious affliations? (Someone donated bibles in my fathers name he would have been horified). How also can you keep from screaming, he's dead gone just gone, everytime someone refers to him now being in heaven?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Sorry for your loss.

Realise that all the platitudes etc are people trying to find their own way to deal with your father's death. They say those things because they are scared (IMO), not to comfort you. They are trying to convince themselves that it's true. Donating bibles in his name seems a bit extreme though. Did they say why they thought it was appropriate? To whom were the bibles donated?

For myself... I tend not to rock the boat. Although it was hard at times, like at one point some old duck thought she was being nice when she implied that my sister was better off dead, otherwise something terrible might have happened to her. I had to laugh. Cos 'Young man punches octagenarian through wall' would probably not be the news headline my parents would like to see me featured in.

My mother is having a vicar come over today to talk to her about my friends suicide (he was a priest himself so his death has totally fucked up the local congregation) I'm going to make myself scarce as its not going to help anyone having me spout off my atheist views. You have to choose your battles and this is not the time and I'm not going to convince him anyway.
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09-11-2015, 07:23 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 05:50 AM)dridlon Wrote:  Hey all

So my father died last week, times like this being an athiest sucks. But to tell the truth the thought of the afterlife is revoltingly silly especially for those that only come out and get all religous at funerals.

My Dad was anagnotic/athiest fence sitter with his legs on the athiest side. In fact he loved the flying spagetti monster (there will be a car embelem of FSM on his headstone as soon as it goes up.)

Really I want to know what does everyone here do when people assume relgious affliations? (Someone donated bibles in my fathers name he would have been horified). How also can you keep from screaming, he's dead gone just gone, everytime someone refers to him now being in heaven?

Thanks for letting me vent.

So sorry for your loss. My dad passed away several years ago. I miss him every day.

At the time, I was still a Christian, so people saying he was in heaven was comforting. When I became an atheist, it really hit me that I was not going to see him again like my religion promised.

Everyone deals with death differently. Some deal with it religiously. I try and just view people's comments about heaven, especially during times of loss, as they are trying to comfort themselves by believing in heaven and that death isn't final. I think because they believe this comforts them, it should comfort you too. Obviously, it does the opposite since you are an atheist. I would just try and view their comments as their reaching out and trying to make you feel better. They are doing it because they care. I try and view it in that light and it becomes a little easier to manage during times like these.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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09-11-2015, 08:33 AM
The Official Crying Thread
My dad died a couple years before I realized I was atheist. He was raised Irish Catholic but wasn't religious. I think for him it was just a cultural thing.

I agree with Jenny in that religious people keep repeating the phrases they've been taught. It helps them. My father's wake was held by a minister my brother worked with (his son was color guard). Thankfully the guy didn't seem overly religious for a minister. In fact I didn't even know until then.

Maybe we grieve differently from theists. For us, we're sure it's final. We have to face head-on that we'll never see this person again. I feel that's it possible that we luckier in that we grieve all at once. Theists might grieve more slowly as they wonder and wait. I'm not saying we have it better but maybe ours is more healthy in a way.

There are no words than can make it better. All we can do is express condolences and give a heads-up on what to expect.
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09-11-2015, 11:23 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
Just found out that my Mom's/My German Shepard is dying from a massive tumor in her chest she only has a month at most before we have to put her down Sad

“We can judge our progress by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers, our willingness to embrace what is true rather than what feels good.”
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09-11-2015, 11:24 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 11:23 AM)Worom Wrote:  Just found out that my Mom's/My German Shepard is dying from a massive tumor in her chest she only has a month at most before we have to put her down Sad

I am so sorry Hug

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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09-11-2015, 01:28 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 11:23 AM)Worom Wrote:  Just found out that my Mom's/My German Shepard is dying from a massive tumor in her chest she only has a month at most before we have to put her down Sad
That's a tough one. Here's a hug from another dog person Hug
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09-11-2015, 03:34 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 11:23 AM)Worom Wrote:  Just found out that my Mom's/My German Shepard is dying from a massive tumor in her chest she only has a month at most before we have to put her down Sad

Dogs are awesome I have absolutely no time for those who dislike them, personally if you don't like dogs you're a piece of fucking shit.
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09-11-2015, 05:10 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 03:34 PM)adey67 Wrote:  Dogs are awesome I have absolutely no time for those who dislike them, personally if you don't like dogs you're a piece of fucking shit.
Dogs are scary..never liked em. Confused

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09-11-2015, 05:49 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(09-11-2015 11:23 AM)Worom Wrote:  Just found out that my Mom's/My German Shepard is dying from a massive tumor in her chest she only has a month at most before we have to put her down Sad

I feel your pain. Hold on to the memories.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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