The Official Crying Thread
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
08-08-2016, 08:26 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(08-08-2016 08:20 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(07-08-2016 10:47 PM)Losty Wrote:  My father had a stroke today. I recieved word from my younger sister that mother told my older sister that she wants me to be there...
I feel like after everything, they could just leave me alone, but instead they give me this decision to make where no matter what I choose...I lose. There's just no painless way to proceed from here. Undecided

Losty, first a big hug.

I had something similar happen recently and another member of the forum suggested I take the high ground, go see the family and then play it by ear.

I did and as it turned out, while the gathering was strange, I felt better about myself for having attended.

If you go your mother will appreciate it and your father has an opportunity to make things right with you, people have been known to change their tune when confronted with death. If he doesn’t that’s on him and you have a clear conscience.

Family issues are always the hardest.

FC

My bad...I missed the stroke post.

You have to do what's right for you Losty.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Anjele's post
08-08-2016, 08:31 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
My sisters keep saying the same thing. I just feel like...I don't even care if they've changed their tune anymore. They had years of unconditional forgiveness. Even as they told my ex husband how to find me, even after they tried to take my kids, even after they tried to stop me from seeing my sister when she was in a severe car accident. I didn't just forgive them, I kept trying so hard to be better to make them like me. Now I'm happy, I learned to like myself. I don't want to fix things. And then...I do. I was going just fine and I kinda feel like if everyone involved really cared about me they'd have just let me be. Anyways..I'll figure it out. It'll be ok.

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
08-08-2016, 08:43 AM (This post was last modified: 08-08-2016 08:52 AM by Anjele.)
RE: The Official Crying Thread
Losty,
Let me tell you what happened with my family.

When my parents split the family split. Everything that had been bad in our lives had always been blamed on dad though mom was no picnic to deal with. Before their split my sister cut all ties with dad. And I do mean all ties. She still was in frequent communication with mom.

Dad got sick with bladder cancer and my sister still wouldn't budge. Then things got much worse after his car accident. I must say that my sister and I hadn't had contact either for quite some time. We simply couldn't agree on anything regarding mom and dad or the three of us kids...nothing.

My husband and I were going to go to SC to see my daughter and grandkids over Christmas one of those years and dad was in the hospital in awful shape. His biggest regret was the split between us kids and he wanted to know that we would get back in touch with each other...kind of a dying wish. So I contacted my niece to see if she thought her mom would talk to me. She said to give it a try.

So, I called. We talked quite a while and both became more aware of how much mom was the driving force behind the family issues. She decided she would go see mom over Christmas and she and I would meet at the hospital and surprise dad. He was so happy! We spent hours in his room talking and making a lot of amends. She spent more time alone with him...it had been years.

The next big downfall in dad's health sent me back across the country to try to help out with medical decisions. My sister then went and spent a week with him.

More back and forth found all three of us kids at dad's side for a week. We all went back to our homes and jobs and a week later he was gone. But he was happy to see the three of together and getting along for the last few months of his life.

Bridges burned between mom and I remain burned.

My sister and I are still in contact. I am not in contact with my brother but that's a whole other story.

The last couple months of dad's life saw his kids working together and managing to get along.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Anjele's post
08-08-2016, 08:44 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
We like you too, and will be here whatever happens.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes skyking's post
08-08-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
Losty Hug

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Escape Artist's post
12-08-2016, 05:23 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
test.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
12-08-2016, 08:00 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
test back at ya Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-08-2016, 07:16 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
The last two weeks have been awful I miss my dad so much and yet I cannot weep for him I have been grumpy tetchy and ill tempered to those who I care about including you guys, I have borrowed offence where there was none and you have been so wonderfully patient with me that I feel incredibly ashamed but also so grateful for you too. How do you guys deal with shit like this? It's driving me crazy... To quote the verve.... The drugs don't work. (I mean prescribed meds not illegal ones). I know there is no heaven or hell yet I find myself wanting to believe and I imagine dad with all the family that has gone before and then I feel bad because I feel like I am being dishonest and hypocritical. I am shattered thanks for listening and letting me vent .... Love you guys Hug
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-08-2016, 08:54 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(29-08-2016 07:16 AM)adey67 Wrote:  The last two weeks have been awful I miss my dad so much and yet I cannot weep for him I have been grumpy tetchy and ill tempered to those who I care about including you guys, I have borrowed offence where there was none and you have been so wonderfully patient with me that I feel incredibly ashamed but also so grateful for you too. How do you guys deal with shit like this? It's driving me crazy... To quote the verve.... The drugs don't work. (I mean prescribed meds not illegal ones). I know there is no heaven or hell yet I find myself wanting to believe and I imagine dad with all the family that has gone before and then I feel bad because I feel like I am being dishonest and hypocritical. I am shattered thanks for listening and letting me vent .... Love you guys Hug

We’re here for you, rant, rave, cuss, throw stuff around as much as you like.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-08-2016, 09:04 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(29-08-2016 07:16 AM)adey67 Wrote:  The last two weeks have been awful I miss my dad so much and yet I cannot weep for him I have been grumpy tetchy and ill tempered to those who I care about including you guys, I have borrowed offence where there was none and you have been so wonderfully patient with me that I feel incredibly ashamed but also so grateful for you too. How do you guys deal with shit like this? It's driving me crazy... To quote the verve.... The drugs don't work. (I mean prescribed meds not illegal ones). I know there is no heaven or hell yet I find myself wanting to believe and I imagine dad with all the family that has gone before and then I feel bad because I feel like I am being dishonest and hypocritical. I am shattered thanks for listening and letting me vent .... Love you guys Hug

[Image: bearhug_zps5kqkvfbj.jpg]

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: