The Official Crying Thread
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01-01-2017, 09:30 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
Hugs for you guys all.
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01-01-2017, 10:16 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(01-01-2017 08:36 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  Childhood friend just died in a car accident. Fuck 2017 already.

Sorry to see this. There was a terrible crash at an intersection near my house (~.75 miles) where some people died at 2:15 AM today. I hope your friend wasn't killed because of a drunk driver.
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01-01-2017, 10:40 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(01-01-2017 10:16 PM)Fireball Wrote:  
(01-01-2017 08:36 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  Childhood friend just died in a car accident. Fuck 2017 already.

Sorry to see this. There was a terrible crash at an intersection near my house (~.75 miles) where some people died at 2:15 AM today. I hope your friend wasn't killed because of a drunk driver.

Don't know the circumstances but with it being New Years it wouldn't be a surprise.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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02-01-2017, 03:34 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(01-01-2017 08:36 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  Childhood friend just died in a car accident. Fuck 2017 already.

Sorry mate, Sad Hug
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06-01-2017, 09:40 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(01-01-2017 08:36 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  Childhood friend just died in a car accident. Fuck 2017 already.
Sorry for your loss.

Sadly I do not think 2017 is going to be kinder to us than 2016 other than perhaps there are somewhat fewer political unknowns and the damned election is settled.

My 30 year old son dropped dead last summer and in the past two decades I lost a wife, brother and mother to other than natural causes. As a result I have developed some coping mechanisms for tough times. For what it's worth:

First, I recognize that nothing is permanent and never was credibly represented as such.

Second, beyond a certain point you either just invite the next victim to get in line and take a number and have a somewhat detached way of handling grief and loss, or it ends up consuming you. I have seen this pattern in other people who have lost a lot. You only have so much time and energy for dramatizing it and making it all about you and your horrible experiences and how unfair it is. Life (and death) just is. I don't like it, but that is irrelevant. Death is for the dead, life is for the living. Carrying on is not betrayal. If anything it's the opposite; it affirms whatever was life-affirming in the deceased.

Finally, those we love live on in our memories and we might as well curate the best memories and let the less happy ones, the loose ends, the unsaid things, the lack of closure, go.

For what it's worth ...
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06-01-2017, 02:55 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(06-01-2017 09:40 AM)mordant Wrote:  
(01-01-2017 08:36 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  Childhood friend just died in a car accident. Fuck 2017 already.
Sorry for your loss.

Sadly I do not think 2017 is going to be kinder to us than 2016 other than perhaps there are somewhat fewer political unknowns and the damned election is settled.

My 30 year old son dropped dead last summer and in the past two decades I lost a wife, brother and mother to other than natural causes. As a result I have developed some coping mechanisms for tough times. For what it's worth:

First, I recognize that nothing is permanent and never was credibly represented as such.

Second, beyond a certain point you either just invite the next victim to get in line and take a number and have a somewhat detached way of handling grief and loss, or it ends up consuming you. I have seen this pattern in other people who have lost a lot. You only have so much time and energy for dramatizing it and making it all about you and your horrible experiences and how unfair it is. Life (and death) just is. I don't like it, but that is irrelevant. Death is for the dead, life is for the living. Carrying on is not betrayal. If anything it's the opposite; it affirms whatever was life-affirming in the deceased.

Finally, those we love live on in our memories and we might as well curate the best memories and let the less happy ones, the loose ends, the unsaid things, the lack of closure, go.

For what it's worth ...

Thanks for that. Sorry for your losses.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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29-01-2017, 04:13 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
Okay, I know this isn't what this thread is for, I know it's more for "this is a sucky thing happening in my life" kind of thing, and so this is way too small of a thing for here, especially after someone mentions their friend dying suddenly, but it's just...I read this thing...a story thing...a really stupid little story thing...I'm sure tomorrow I'll wake up and look back and feel really embarrassed about how silly it was to let something get to me this much but right now I'm sitting alone in my dorm, it's almost past five in the morning (I got four hours of sleep last night, I don't know how I'm doing this), and I'm just crying so hard I almost threw up (and I can't tell if my shaking is coming from the crying or the open window), and I just think mentioning it to somewhere might make me feel at least a bit better (just to have an outlet and not feel like my only option is to sit alone and try and get my mind off of it) and, well, it's past five in the morning, my family's asleep, so here's my mention.

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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29-01-2017, 04:39 AM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(29-01-2017 04:13 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  Okay, I know this isn't what this thread is for, I know it's more for "this is a sucky thing happening in my life" kind of thing, and so this is way too small of a thing for here, especially after someone mentions their friend dying suddenly, but it's just...I read this thing...a story thing...a really stupid little story thing...I'm sure tomorrow I'll wake up and look back and feel really embarrassed about how silly it was to let something get to me this much but right now I'm sitting alone in my dorm, it's almost past five in the morning (I got four hours of sleep last night, I don't know how I'm doing this), and I'm just crying so hard I almost threw up (and I can't tell if my shaking is coming from the crying or the open window), and I just think mentioning it to somewhere might make me feel at least a bit better (just to have an outlet and not feel like my only option is to sit alone and try and get my mind off of it) and, well, it's past five in the morning, my family's asleep, so here's my mention.

Things always look more horrible and scary at night it can be very difficult to keep things in perspective I'm given to understand that in the USA you are fortunate enough to be able to buy melatonin without prescription perhaps this would help you in the short term to get a decent nights sleep. Hope you feel better soon.
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29-01-2017, 01:38 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
(29-01-2017 04:13 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  Okay, I know this isn't what this thread is for, I know it's more for "this is a sucky thing happening in my life" kind of thing, and so this is way too small of a thing for here, especially after someone mentions their friend dying suddenly, but it's just...I read this thing...a story thing...a really stupid little story thing...I'm sure tomorrow I'll wake up and look back and feel really embarrassed about how silly it was to let something get to me this much but right now I'm sitting alone in my dorm, it's almost past five in the morning (I got four hours of sleep last night, I don't know how I'm doing this), and I'm just crying so hard I almost threw up (and I can't tell if my shaking is coming from the crying or the open window), and I just think mentioning it to somewhere might make me feel at least a bit better (just to have an outlet and not feel like my only option is to sit alone and try and get my mind off of it) and, well, it's past five in the morning, my family's asleep, so here's my mention.
The story touched something within you that needed to be released, emotionally speaking. It's okay. You're not whining about it, you're just reaching out to others for perspective, and that's smart.

If you want to talk about the specifics and why you felt as you did (assuming you understand the feelings), to try to understand it better, we're here for you. If it's not the time for that or you don't need it, that's fine too.
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02-02-2017, 12:40 PM
RE: The Official Crying Thread
I just got a call from my brother, one of those calls that we all dread.
My niece is going in for surgery in an hour. She has late stage colon cancer that has metastasized to her liver, that went undiagnosed despite many months of illness and doctor's visits.
My sister is a nurse, and she has researched the specifics. Her conclusion was that our niece needs to make end of life decisions. She will likely come out of this surgery with a colostomy bag, and there will be follow on surgery for the liver. She will be 49 in April.
In many ways she is more of a contemporary, as my family is so spread out. She is my oldest sister's daughter and the first grandchild of our generation.
I am wrecked at the moment.
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