The One True Jelly
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17-05-2016, 07:45 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
(17-05-2016 07:15 PM)unsapien Wrote:  
(17-05-2016 04:49 PM)Aliza Wrote:  I feel now is an excellent time to remind everyone about peanut butter. Heart

I love you, peanut butter.

In the beginning there was just bread and water, and the people did cry out, "this is rather bland", and so the almighty gave to the people the "butter of the nut of pea"... to spread upon the breads of the Earth.

And it was good, and they did rejoice...

(Later that century, or millennia... seriously who the hell even keeps track of that crap ) The almighty did look on the Earth and did see that the people were doing nasty things with the "butters of the nuts of pea"

And so in his anger he did send a plague against the houses of the peanut sinners and he did close their throats so that they would be extinguished from the Earth.

And then the Almighty did then say "never again shall I extinguish so many from the Earth by the closing of their throats." (cause I have so many other ways Evil_monster )

Then he said I shall send my only begotten butter : the WOWBUTTER

[Image: KdytgjF.jpg]

Seriously, it has WOW in the name! What more do you want.

And the "WOWBUTTER" did say that no one shall enter the mouth of God but through me, for only through me can you enter the sandwich of Enlightenment and only through the "sandwich" can you enter the mouth of God.

Sunflower seed butter? Drooling I must obtain this substance and sample it!
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17-05-2016, 07:53 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
(17-05-2016 04:36 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(17-05-2016 04:20 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  You are a bunch of heathens.

Jelly is made with the juices, strained, and if done properly should be clear with a perfectly even texture.

Jam is when some cretin gets lazy and just leaves a bunch of fruit in what should have been jelly.

Nutella is an abomination.

I don't understand the fascination with Nutella. I tried it once and thought it was gross. Hazelnuts aren't a favorite anyway. But the quality of chocolate used was awful.

Don't know what to say, Moms. I simply can't help it, I just love Nutella. Love hazelnuts too. You're pretty neat yourself.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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17-05-2016, 07:56 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
(17-05-2016 07:53 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(17-05-2016 04:36 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I don't understand the fascination with Nutella. I tried it once and thought it was gross. Hazelnuts aren't a favorite anyway. But the quality of chocolate used was awful.

Don't know what to say, Moms. I simply can't help it, I just love Nutella. Love hazelnuts too. You're pretty neat yourself.

Awww we can disagree on that. Big Grin

I'm sure there are plenty other things we'd totally agree on.

Heart


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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17-05-2016, 08:42 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
(17-05-2016 07:53 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Don't know what to say, Moms. I simply can't help it, I just love Nutella. Love hazelnuts too. You're pretty neat yourself.

Seconded

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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19-05-2016, 09:31 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
All these years. All these years and I never knew hazelnuts and filberts were the same thing. Blink My life is complete. Sleepy

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19-05-2016, 09:52 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
(19-05-2016 09:31 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  All these years. All these years and I never knew hazelnuts and filberts were the same thing. Blink My life is complete. Sleepy

Laugh out load Now, the next time someone gets a smug look when they brag about their hazelnut whatever, you can pop their bubble by saying, "It's just a lowly filbert!". I don't care what they are called, them bad boys are delish! Don't feel badly. I didn't find out until I was in my early 50s. I led such a sheltered life. Weeping
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19-05-2016, 11:31 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
My scripture allows only jams and jellies made by myself or my family. The factory swill may no longer pass these lips.
There was a time when, in weakness, I gave in to the dark side of the peanut butter aisle. Never more I say!
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20-05-2016, 09:49 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
Here is the Jelly on a mission trip to convert the hot pockets into manure.

[Image: hqdefault.jpg]

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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20-05-2016, 10:58 PM
RE: The One True Jelly
(19-05-2016 11:31 PM)skyking Wrote:  I gave in to the dark side of the peanut butter aisle. Never more I say!

You oughtta give canna peanut butter a go. Yes

#sigh
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21-05-2016, 02:14 AM
RE: The One True Jelly
(17-05-2016 05:37 AM)BnW Wrote:  [Image: k2-_514dbbff-9b7d-4840-8dcf-ada7d2724b8e.v1.jpg]

Welch's Grape Jelly is the One True Jelly. Consumers of other brands of Grape Jelly are lost souls who must be rehabilitated and shown the way to the One True Jelly. Consumers of other flavors like strawberry or gasp! apricot are heretics who shall convert or be purified by fire and then served on toast with the One True Jelly spread upon them.

ALL HAIL THE ONE TRUE JELLY!

It was spread for your sins.

I live in grape country. There is a Welch's bottling plant minutes away from where I live, the area smells of grapes in the right season. The area is known for it's regional wines.

I still eat the cheap stuff, because it's doesn't taste any better or worse. Drinking Beverage

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
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