The Remembering Place

[Percepticon]

I'm creating this thread so that we can share with each other the lives of those who we've loved and lost. Maybe it feels like there's no one in our world with whom we can share memories, or it seems they've 'moved on', or expect us to 'move on.'

Knowing that 1) our grieving process and timing is ours alone and 2) we have a need to preserve the memory of those we miss, we recognize that remembering is a healthy way to honor those who have died.

So....tell us about who you miss. Share pictures and favorite memories. Tell us about the difficult and amazing ways they lived, their contributions to the world and to your life. What made them special? What pissed you off? What would you say to them if you could?

Tell us, and we'll remember with you....for this is The Remembering Place.

~Valerie

[Chas]

(20-12-2012 12:36 PM)Percepticon Wrote:  I'm creating this thread so that we can share with each other the lives of those who we've loved and lost. Maybe it feels like there's no one in our world with whom we can share memories, or it seems they've 'moved on', or expect us to 'move on.'

Knowing that 1) our grieving process and timing is ours alone and 2) we have a need to preserve the memory of those we miss, we recognize that remembering is a healthy way to honor those who have died.

So....tell us about who you miss. Share pictures and favorite memories. Tell us about the difficult and amazing ways they lived, their contributions to the world and to your life. What made them special? What pissed you off? What would you say to them if you could?

Tell us, and we'll remember with you....for this is The Remembering Spot.

~Valerie

This is my mother with her six children just a few years ago. She died in October.



She was happy that her children got on with each other and that we were all mostly OK. She carried some guilt that she took us and left our father - she worried she had hurt us or ruined our childhoods.

[Anjele]

28 years ago today, my first husband died in a car crash. He was driving drunk and probably high too. Others here have mounted their high horse about how he shouldn't have been driving drunk...yeah, I know that...it was the biggest fight topic we had. Left me with two little girls and Christmas just days away.
I wonder what kind of man he would be today had he been able to get his addictions under control. His dad is a really good man, I think he would have been a lot like him. My younger daughter doesn't even remember him, she was so young.

[Erxomai]

   

My Dad. 1929-1989.


Sure, maybe his beliefs were wacky and almost ruined me for life, but he was a good and kind-hearted man.



I'm glad I don't have to have theological arguments with him, but otherwise I still miss him very much.

[DLJ]

I know this is not quite in keeping with the previous posts but it's still fitting.

Tell us about the difficult and amazing ways they lived...
I think everyone knows.

Their contributions to the world and to your life...
Author, journalist and made me realise that I should be taking a stand.

What made them special?
He was Hitch. Nuff said.

What pissed you off?
"Preening Popinjay" until a few years before the end.

What would you say to them if you could?
Thank you, sir.

[Percepticon]

(20-12-2012 12:50 PM)Chas Wrote:  This is my mother with her six children just a few years ago. She died in October.



She was happy that her children got on with each other and that we were all mostly OK. She carried some guilt that she took us and left our father - she worried she had hurt us or ruined our childhoods.

Thank you, Chas. What a great looking bunch. I'm sure she was proud of you all. Mom looks like quite a pleasant lady, the kind of person I might walk up to and say "hello", even in my social ineptitude.

[Percepticon]

(20-12-2012 12:51 PM)Anjele Wrote:  28 years ago today, my first husband died in a car crash. He was driving drunk and probably high too. Others here have mounted their high horse about how he shouldn't have been driving drunk...yeah, I know that...it was the biggest fight topic we had. Left me with two little girls and Christmas just days away.
I wonder what kind of man he would be today had he been able to get his addictions under control. His dad is a really good man, I think he would have been a lot like him. My younger daughter doesn't even remember him, she was so young.

I'm sorry, Miss Anjele... The mistakes he made didn't make him less of a person. When we love someone, we're agreeing to take the whole package. And, your love of him is not to be diminished on account of his error. The good and the bad are all part of grief--that you can acknowledge the hard things while you love and grieve shows great character to me.

[Percepticon]

(20-12-2012 01:06 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  My Dad. 1929-1989.


Sure, maybe his beliefs were wacky and almost ruined me for life, but he was a good and kind-hearted man.



I'm glad I don't have to have theological arguments with him, but otherwise I still miss him very much.

Thanks for sharing him here, Erx. I'm sorry you lost him while you were so young. I wonder what traits of his you're carrying on?

[Percepticon]

(20-12-2012 01:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  I know this is not quite in keeping with the previous posts but it's still fitting.

Tell us about the difficult and amazing ways they lived...
I think everyone knows.

Their contributions to the world and to your life...
Author, journalist and made me realise that I should be taking a stand.

What made them special?
He was Hitch. Nuff said.

What pissed you off?
"Preening Popinjay" until a few years before the end.

What would you say to them if you could?
Thank you, sir.

No, no, sir. There's room here for everyone. Here's to Hitch.

[Percepticon]

    This is Michael and I in 2007. It isn't the best quality photo, but it's the only one we have together. We met on September 17, 2006, after I'd befriended his former partner, Steven. They were still very much involved in one another's lives, and loved each other very much, just couldn't live together. Michael considered Steven his soulmate. Michael & I began to bond while sharing caregiving duties during Steven's illness, and after Steven died in February of 2007, Michael & I were inseparable. He lived 350 miles away, so we only saw each other a couple times after Steven died, but we talked on the phone almost daily, about everything--nothing was off limits. He was the closest Friend I've ever had--we were so close, comfortable, and tender with each other that people would mistake us for being a married couple. He died February 21st, 2011, 3 days before my 36th birthday, of what was probably an alcoholic seizure. I was upset that he didn't get a proper obituary, and I wrote I really good one for him to comfort myself, but FaceBook isn't letting me access my stuff from Feb of 2011.