The Santa issue
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15-11-2013, 12:57 PM
RE: The Santa issue
(15-11-2013 12:08 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Again, I just can't justify lying to my kid. Fun though it may be.
Is it your job as a parent to protect your kids, in a bubble of safety, trust and love...
Or
Is it your job to teach your kids life skills, teach them to know that people tell lies, to recognise lies, to learn how to discover truth from lies.

Practising life skills at home is very important. Sending a naiive child out into the real world is like sending a person to climb a mountain without the proper equipment.
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15-11-2013, 01:38 PM
RE: The Santa issue
(15-11-2013 12:57 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(15-11-2013 12:08 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Again, I just can't justify lying to my kid. Fun though it may be.
Is it your job as a parent to protect your kids, in a bubble of safety, trust and love...
Or
Is it your job to teach your kids life skills, teach them to know that people tell lies, to recognise lies, to learn how to discover truth from lies.

Practising life skills at home is very important. Sending a naiive child out into the real world is like sending a person to climb a mountain without the proper equipment.

Both. They will learn how to think critically while learning that they can always trust daddy to be there for them when they need love and honesty.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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15-11-2013, 01:53 PM
RE: The Santa issue
Funny - I remember a conversation the morning after "the Ken doll christmas" - I was nearing 7 years of age. I don't remember how the conversation came about but, I recall my Mom asking me, "So, do you think there is a Santa? Is he real?" and I remember saying, "I don't think so, I was never sure if I was supposed to believe he was real or not."

I remember my Mom had a strange look on her face that I'm still unsure how to read. It was a look almost like 'what the fuck is in this kid's head?' - but also kind of a disgusted expression. I recall thinking that maybe she wasn't sure if Santa was real or not and maybe that's why she was asking.

I'm getting the impression I might have been a weird kid. Blink

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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15-11-2013, 02:08 PM
RE: The Santa issue
(15-11-2013 01:53 PM)kim Wrote:  Funny - I remember a conversation the morning after "the Ken doll christmas" - I was nearing 7 years of age. I don't remember how the conversation came about but, I recall my Mom asking me, "So, do you think there is a Santa? Is he real?" and I remember saying, "I don't think so, I was never sure if I was supposed to believe he was real or not."

I remember my Mom had a strange look on her face that I'm still unsure how to read. It was a look almost like 'what the fuck is in this kid's head?' - but also kind of a disgusted expression. I recall thinking that maybe she wasn't sure if Santa was real or not and maybe that's why she was asking.

I'm getting the impression I might have been a weird kid. Blink

Maybe the look was that you were growing up and that just can't be stopped.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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15-11-2013, 03:22 PM
RE: The Santa issue
(15-11-2013 02:08 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(15-11-2013 01:53 PM)kim Wrote:  I remember my Mom had a strange look on her face that I'm still unsure how to read. It was a look almost like 'what the fuck is in this kid's head?' - but also kind of a disgusted expression. I recall thinking that maybe she wasn't sure if Santa was real or not and maybe that's why she was asking.

I'm getting the impression I might have been a weird kid. Blink

Maybe the look was that you were growing up and that just can't be stopped.

Hmm... Consider my Mom does have an odd tendency toward denial... so, I can totally see her wanting to prolong my childhood for me.

I am once again reminded, I'm soooo grateful my parents gave me and my bro the freedom to make up our own minds... about a lot of things. Maybe they weren't quite the dolts we thought they were, huh? Wink

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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15-11-2013, 04:25 PM
RE: The Santa issue
Okay. Here's one of my favorite Santa stories involving my son:

We were at the mall eating lunch. He was sitting across from me and my back was to the Santa picture, money stealer set up. I didn't even realize it was there. It was pointed out that Santa was sitting right over there. I just watched his expression. (I don't force it down on him and insist that anything exists. I let him figure things out.)

I noticed he stopped eating and was staring intently at Santa. He had an expression I can only describe as "doubtful and thoughtful." I asked him why he was staring like that. After a few more seconds of staring, he looked up at me briefly and then back at the scene.

"That's not Santa," he said seriously.

I started laughing. "Why do you say that?"

"That's just not him. I know it."

I said it was possible it wasn't him. I also asked casually if he believed in Santa. He told me he didn't know really, but he KNEW that couldn't be Santa.

"Well, whatever you believe, don't ruin it for the younger kids, okay?"

And then we finished our Subway.

*********

I believe in letting my child find things out for himself with minimum influence on my part. He was going to hear about Santa at some point (and believe me, he has many people who with nothing more than to sabotage and undermine my parenting and teach him things I don't follow.) so why not entertain his imagination?

He's an amazing kid and I'm not too worried about him being traumatized by believing in a childhood story. At least THIS mythical being is promising gifts for little boys and girls, NOT eternal Hellfire because he touched his privates out of curiosity Drinking Beverage

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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15-11-2013, 04:48 PM
RE: The Santa issue
(15-11-2013 04:25 PM)Peanut Wrote:  "Well, whatever you believe, don't ruin it for the younger kids, okay?"

I like that. It's about respecting the other person on their terms rather than one's own. I think it will help him to understand that everyone deserves to figure themselves out. That simple common courtesy can be a tough thing to get across.

Could you go talk to Pleasy Jeasy? Blink

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