The "Stranger Danger" Myth
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16-10-2014, 04:38 AM (This post was last modified: 16-10-2014 06:42 AM by Cetaceaphile.)
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
(15-10-2014 08:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(15-10-2014 07:36 PM)wazzel Wrote:  Not sure if this has been mentioned, kids are much more likely to be abused by close friends, teachers, club leaders, coaches and family than strangers. Not sure the breakdown with abductions. It is still a good idea to be wary of strangers.

and statistically speaking, its men that are doing the violating.

I taught my kid to find the 'mom' for help, because (according to Gavin deBecker- FBI profiler and threat assessor) statistically- a mom won't leave a child in need, they will take the steps necessary to get that child to safety. if a child, lost in store, approaches a mom, she will stop her shopping, help the child find a parent, or get the child to store manager. if the child approaches a man (statistically)- the guy will say something along the lines of " i don't know where your mom is, go look over there". they won't stop to ensure the child is safe

i follow the advice of the professional who studies the bad guys, who studies the crimes, looks at the how, why, where, who of this type of crime happens.

it might not be a complete stranger going after your kid, but that doesnt mean it won't be a neighbor, coach, local teen, teacher, family member, someone in your circle that is trusted.

and just to put another stat out there, 1 in 4 girls is sexually assaulted (rape to having their ass grabbed, etc) before age 18. Think of all the females in your life, do the math.

I think that comes more from men being scared of being accused of being a child molester than anything else. All studies where men are asked there is always a large percentage who are scared of being made a victim if they stop to help a child.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/l...ldren.html

According to this survey though women are also scared of this, though not as much.

I also think statistics of sexual assault are blown up a little. I have had my backside grabbed by multiple people, including a female teacher when I was 14, but that wasn't considered sexual assault in any case. Never really considered it to be that myself until years later when I found myself flinching slightly when someone I wanted to grab there did it... I don't think society considered it that at the time either, but I don't think it would be brushed off today to be honest, seeing as how people are more aware now.

EDIT: I don't mean that I think sexual assault is overplayed, I just mean that the 1/4 statistic is pulled out a lot even though there is no statistic to count sexual assault against men under the same definitions of sexual assault. So I don't think it means as much as is often portrayed.

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16-10-2014, 04:52 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth



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16-10-2014, 04:54 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
I also wanted to add, crimes with children are mostly about having access. 50 years ago more children roamed around outside without supervision in a middle class neighborhood, but now children are in after school daycares, sports teams, music lessons, karate lesssons, tee ball, summer camps, you name it. So those that would cause them harm arent strangers because kids don't have as much access to strangers as they do
aquaintances.

We take a child to a new place, art class for instance, and we tell them - this stranger is your teacher- have fun. Most of the time, we know nothing about that person, maybe have heard some rec's from friends. The only thing that is changed is now we know a strangers name.

Its difficult to teach a child to trust a teacher but also to keep on guard because that very teacher might be the bad guy.


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16-10-2014, 04:58 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
(16-10-2014 04:38 AM)Cetaceaphile Wrote:  
(15-10-2014 08:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  and statistically speaking, its men that are doing the violating.

I taught my kid to find the 'mom' for help, because (according to Gavin deBecker- FBI profiler and threat assessor) statistically- a mom won't leave a child in need, they will take the steps necessary to get that child to safety. if a child, lost in store, approaches a mom, she will stop her shopping, help the child find a parent, or get the child to store manager. if the child approaches a man (statistically)- the guy will say something along the lines of " i don't know where your mom is, go look over there". they won't stop to ensure the child is safe

i follow the advice of the professional who studies the bad guys, who studies the crimes, looks at the how, why, where, who of this type of crime happens.

it might not be a complete stranger going after your kid, but that doesnt mean it won't be a neighbor, coach, local teen, teacher, family member, someone in your circle that is trusted.

and just to put another stat out there, 1 in 4 girls is sexually assaulted (rape to having their ass grabbed, etc) before age 18. Think of all the females in your life, do the math.

I think that comes more from men being scared of being accused of being a child molester than anything else. All studies where men are asked there is always a large percentage who are scared of being made a victim if they stop to help a child.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/l...ldren.html

According to this survey though women are also scared of this, though not as much.

I also think statistics of sexual assault are blown up a little. I have had my backside grabbed by multiple people, including a female teacher when I was 14, but that wasn't considered sexual assault in any case. Never really considered it to be that myself until years later when I found myself flinching slightly when someone I wanted to grab their did it... I don't think society considered it that at the time either, but I don't think it would be brushed off today to be honest, seeing as how people are more aware now.

EDIT: I don't mean that I think sexual assault is overplayed, I just mean that the 1/4 statistic is pulled out a lot even though there is no statistic to count sexual assault against men under the same definitions of sexual assault. So I don't think it means as much as is often portrayed.

The statistic I have seen for men is 1 in 6.


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16-10-2014, 05:05 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
Here's a source for statistics on rape, sexual assault.
https://www.rainn.org/get-information/st...lt-victims


I will try to find more later, I've got to get kids off to school at the moment.

I don't have numbers on other crimes on kids, and somewhere I think I heard motor vehicle accidents were #1 killer for kids under 14, ? But I might be fuzzy on that one.


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16-10-2014, 05:16 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
(16-10-2014 05:05 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Here's a source for statistics on rape, sexual assault.
https://www.rainn.org/get-information/st...lt-victims


I will try to find more later, I've got to get kids off to school at the moment.

I don't have numbers on other crimes on kids, and somewhere I think I heard motor vehicle accidents were #1 killer for kids under 14, ? But I might be fuzzy on that one.

Those numbers don't appear reliable to me.

All women: 17.6%
White women: 17.7%
Black women: 18.8%
Asian Pacific Islander women: 6.8%
American Indian/Alaskan women: 34.1%
Mixed race women: 24.4%

Unless there are a whole lot of Asian Pacific Islander women, the rate for all women can't be lower than the individual rates for the rest.

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16-10-2014, 06:38 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
(15-10-2014 08:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(15-10-2014 07:36 PM)wazzel Wrote:  Not sure if this has been mentioned, kids are much more likely to be abused by close friends, teachers, club leaders, coaches and family than strangers. Not sure the breakdown with abductions. It is still a good idea to be wary of strangers.

and statistically speaking, its men that are doing the violating.

I taught my kid to find the 'mom' for help, because (according to Gavin deBecker- FBI profiler and threat assessor) statistically- a mom won't leave a child in need, they will take the steps necessary to get that child to safety. if a child, lost in store, approaches a mom, she will stop her shopping, help the child find a parent, or get the child to store manager. if the child approaches a man (statistically)- the guy will say something along the lines of " i don't know where your mom is, go look over there". they won't stop to ensure the child is safe

i follow the advice of the professional who studies the bad guys, who studies the crimes, looks at the how, why, where, who of this type of crime happens.

it might not be a complete stranger going after your kid, but that doesnt mean it won't be a neighbor, coach, local teen, teacher, family member, someone in your circle that is trusted.

and just to put another stat out there, 1 in 4 girls is sexually assaulted (rape to having their ass grabbed, etc) before age 18. Think of all the females in your life, do the math.

IIRC it really depends on what type of violation as to if men or women are the more significant perp. Women can get away with some thing men can not. Get away may not be the best set of words. For example, locally we have a case where a female HS teacher had sex with an under aged male student and is charged with something along the lines of inappropriate conduct with a juvenile, if it would have been a male teacher and a female student it would have been a rape charge, even if the female student was a willing participant.

As far as looking for mom's cause dad's do not care, I think that is a horrible stereo type. Men are far more caring and protective than women give them (us) credit for. I have bailed out lots of kids in binds over the years. Never anything major, so far. The most common one was helping young kids find there moms, who usually did not even notice the kid was missing.
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16-10-2014, 07:03 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
(16-10-2014 06:38 AM)wazzel Wrote:  
(15-10-2014 08:59 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  and statistically speaking, its men that are doing the violating.

I taught my kid to find the 'mom' for help, because (according to Gavin deBecker- FBI profiler and threat assessor) statistically- a mom won't leave a child in need, they will take the steps necessary to get that child to safety. if a child, lost in store, approaches a mom, she will stop her shopping, help the child find a parent, or get the child to store manager. if the child approaches a man (statistically)- the guy will say something along the lines of " i don't know where your mom is, go look over there". they won't stop to ensure the child is safe

i follow the advice of the professional who studies the bad guys, who studies the crimes, looks at the how, why, where, who of this type of crime happens.

it might not be a complete stranger going after your kid, but that doesnt mean it won't be a neighbor, coach, local teen, teacher, family member, someone in your circle that is trusted.

and just to put another stat out there, 1 in 4 girls is sexually assaulted (rape to having their ass grabbed, etc) before age 18. Think of all the females in your life, do the math.

IIRC it really depends on what type of violation as to if men or women are the more significant perp. Women can get away with some thing men can not. Get away may not be the best set of words. For example, locally we have a case where a female HS teacher had sex with an under aged male student and is charged with something along the lines of inappropriate conduct with a juvenile, if it would have been a male teacher and a female student it would have been a rape charge, even if the female student was a willing participant.

As far as looking for mom's cause dad's do not care, I think that is a horrible stereo type. Men are far more caring and protective than women give them (us) credit for. I have bailed out lots of kids in binds over the years. Never anything major, so far. The most common one was helping young kids find there moms, who usually did not even notice the kid was missing.

I think it was advice based on odds (statistics of perps, etc) and knowing who the person in need of help. A child can "recognize" a Mom pretty much everywhere, but a "cashier" will look different in each store because of branding. Also, teaching a child to go look for someone, IMO, makes it harder to find them. I told my kids to just stop and scream their heads off.
The quicker they stop and scream, the quicker I can find them. And it draws attention. I saw it in action one day at the zoo and was amazed hiw it well it worked.

W were at the exit, there are restrooms right outside the gate before the parking lot. A large family of about 15 people, came out of the zoo, into the restrooms. They all came out but apparently one child was left behind. When she came out she couldnt spot her group anywhere. You could see the panic starting, I was about to approach her when she suddenly turned into a siren. Stood in one spot and screamed her bloody head off. She also slowly turned in a circle.

The entire place froze, all eyes were on this kid. Everyone had their attention on her. A few moments later a family member was there.

Stop and scream.


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16-10-2014, 07:10 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
The stop and scream is a good idea. I told my kids once they figured out they were lost to find a safe place to wait for me to find them. I really made it a point to tell them if we were both looking we would never find each other and to let me do the looking. Luckily I have a good track record of keeping my kids with me when I am out. My wife on the other hand........
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16-10-2014, 08:11 AM
RE: The "Stranger Danger" Myth
This is all so sad. When I was a kid, we were allowed to be out alone to play with neighbor kids within view from a window as early as age 4. By the time I was six, we had bikes and were allowed to bike all over the neighborhood, but had to check in every couple hours. When I was ten I went to a school on the other side of town and took the bus and tram there everyday by myself or with other kids. In the summer, we went out to play and had to be home in time for lunch and before dark.

We had freedom. I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up being supervised every minute of the day.

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