The Thinking Atheist CYOA
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20-12-2011, 09:52 AM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
Kaycee nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s go see Hamata.”

The two friends made the short trip to Hamata’s smith “Just Us Trolls” to see what type of armor and weapons they could afford.

Hamata was a troll blacksmith who was world renowned for his smithing abilities. When they reached the shop, they saw the troll pounding red hot ingots with his hammer. A scrunched brow looked at them and said, “Hail ladies, whadduya want?”

The two explained to Hamata where they were going and asked him for his recommendations. Hamata stared at them and said, “You boys are serious, huh? Har! Yer crazy. Har har har! Lemme see what I got fer you two loonies.”

Hamata pulled out an impressive arsenal of well crafted weapons and armor. Kaycee and Erxomai became wide-eye with awe and Erxomai asked, “We’ll take it! How much?”

Hamata picked his teeth and stared at the two friends.

“I’ll le’it go fer a gold.”

“What? You thieving little tr…”

Kaycee grabbed Erxomai and held him back for his own health. Hamata continued to pick his teeth. He paused another moment and said, “Maybe we’cn work a deal.”

“Such as?”

“I’mma bored outta my mind. Gimme what money you got’n I’ll come along’n equip you two fairies wit my wares.”

A) Agree to Hamata’s offer.
B) Disagree to the offer and buy what you can with the money you have.
C) Leave empty handed.


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20-12-2011, 10:22 AM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
I loved choose your own adventures......never played them properly though with pen and paper and dice....fuck that Big Grin

A: Let hamata come along, the more the merrier.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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20-12-2011, 10:43 AM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
Kaycee held up his pointer finger to Hamata and said, “Sec.”

He pulled Erxomai to the side and whispered, “We need him.”

“No way man. He’s a troll. Plus, I don’t want to give him all our money.”

“What’s wrong with trolls?”

“They stink.”

“I herd that ya cheap whore!”

Kaycee placed his hand on Erxomai’s shoulder, “C’mon. We gotta do this.”

Erxomai sighed and relented, “Fine, troll. You can come.”

Hamata snorted with glee and then flicked Erxomai in the testicles. Erxomai dropped to the ground while Hamata laughed, “See? Yew’do need mah ar’mer.”

*Hamata joins the group!*
*You lost all your money!*

The three gathered and equipped their armor and weapons, and, despite the late start, finally began their journey as they made their way out the village.

The three adventurers continued on the North Road towards the Path of the Gods. Hamata looked at Kaycee and said, “Ya really a priest?”

Kaycee nodded, “I’ve been blessed by the gods. And, served them.”

“Whadduya mean ‘blessed’?”

Erxomai groaned and placed his face in his palm, “Kaycee, not this again.”

Aggravated, Kaycee said, “No, it’s true. I’ve been blessed with powers.”

Hamata snorted with laughter, “Sure, boy, sure.”

“No really.”

“Har har har. Whatever ya say, turd.”

“No! I really have…”

A chilling, high pitch scream silenced Kaycee mid sentence. All three knew what that sound was. Outside the safety of the village, monsters freely roamed the countryside as well as the air.

Hamata squinted his eyes, “Fire flyers.”
Erxomai grunted in frustration, “What do we do?”

A) Fight the monsters with conventional weapons.
B) Let Kaycee handle them with his “powers”.
C) Run.


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20-12-2011, 10:48 AM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
ummmm..... deleted

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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20-12-2011, 11:15 AM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
What did the deleted posts say???.....I need to know...... Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Behold the power of the force!
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20-12-2011, 01:04 PM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
(20-12-2011 11:15 AM)FSM_scot Wrote:  What did the deleted posts say???.....I need to know...... Ahhhhhhhhhh!

It was just a bunch of "hey do it like this!" talk.

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20-12-2011, 02:29 PM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
B: I wanna see KC's awesome powers in action!
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20-12-2011, 04:13 PM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
The fire flyer drew closer to the companions. Hamata and Erxomai drew their weapons and crouched in a readied position.

“Stand back.”

Hamata and Erxomai slowly turned their heads towards Kaycee and stared blankly. Hamata let out a short snort and Erxomai shook his head, “What… what are you doing?”

“Showing you my powers.”

“Kaycee, you idiot, stop this.”

“Boy, ya know dose things right thar, they’ll kill ya, right?”

“Stand back.”

“Whateva laddie. Kill yourself.”

Erxomai sheathed his sword and ran to Kaycee, “Man… listen to me… stop this.”

Kaycee looked at his friend, “Get. Back.”

Erxomai and Hamata both ran for cover near the tree line behind a small sheer hill. Kaycee dropped to a knee and began praying unintelligibly. The fire flyer flew directly above Kaycee and inhaled. Fire began to sizzle from its mouth, but when it opened it to cast the fire on Kaycee, a pillar of earth shot from the ground and smashed the flyer in the mouth. The fire flying flopped to the ground where it was swallowed by a gaping hole that closed once it was satiated.

Kaycee stood to his feet and looked at his companions.

“Holy crap.”

“Monkey on a stick…”

Kaycee nodded and said, “I told you.”

Erxomai shook his head, “You know this still doesn’t mean I believe, right?”

Kaycee laughed and nodded his head. He looked at Hamata and said, “What do you think we should do? Should we rest at the farm house?”

A) The three companions go to the farm house.
B) They continue on the current path.
C) Try to take a short cut through the woods.


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20-12-2011, 04:15 PM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
Gotta be the shortcut through the woods, I vote 'C'.

PS. I suggest them meeting a brave and handsome hero with a really cool name, something along the lines of Hughsie Big Grin!

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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20-12-2011, 04:26 PM
RE: The Thinking Atheist CYOA
Wow, a lot of things you can learn about KC with this tool. Way better than asking him to draw a tree. Do go on.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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