The Whispering Thread
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24-12-2015, 04:35 PM
RE: The Whispering Thread
Sometimes I think human evolution is regressing.

The essence of life is statistical improbability on a colossal scale.
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29-12-2015, 02:54 PM
RE: The Whispering Thread
I hate Politics

“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”
― Optimus Prime
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29-12-2015, 03:06 PM
RE: The Whispering Thread
SPEAK LOUDER, I HAVE A HEARING AID!

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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29-12-2015, 06:02 PM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(24-12-2015 04:35 PM)Spooky Wrote:  Sometimes I think human evolution is regressing.

It is.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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31-01-2016, 01:39 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
I'm traveling back down a path of misery I'm all too familiar with and I don't know how to stop it. Part of me says I want and need help, the other part says I don't. Hell, I don't have time for help - granted lack of control is why I'm back here in the first place. I've managed before and have stayed out of treatment. I don't want this in my medical records - insurance companies would have a field day with it. And I have bills to pay which I can't do if I'm sitting in a group talking about my mother and my family and healthy eating habits and coping mechanisms while being force fed and not able to take a shit by myself despite not being bulimic. Thanks but no thanks. Seriously doubt that would work for me. And I'd be taken off the Wellbutrin. Maybe this belongs in first world problems. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch - I can't trust myself anymore. I just need to get my shit together and this will fade into the background again.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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31-01-2016, 02:01 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 01:39 AM)Nurse Wrote:  I'm traveling back down a path of misery I'm all too familiar with and I don't know how to stop it. Part of me says I want and need help, the other part says I don't. Hell, I don't have time for help - granted lack of control is why I'm back here in the first place. I've managed before and have stayed out of treatment. I don't want this in my medical records - insurance companies would have a field day with it. And I have bills to pay which I can't do if I'm sitting in a group talking about my mother and my family and healthy eating habits and coping mechanisms while being force fed and not able to take a shit by myself despite not being bulimic. Thanks but no thanks. Seriously doubt that would work for me. And I'd be taken off the Wellbutrin. Maybe this belongs in first world problems. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch - I can't trust myself anymore. I just need to get my shit together and this will fade into the background again.

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31-01-2016, 03:32 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 01:39 AM)Nurse Wrote:  I'm traveling back down a path of misery I'm all too familiar with and I don't know how to stop it. Part of me says I want and need help, the other part says I don't. Hell, I don't have time for help - granted lack of control is why I'm back here in the first place. I've managed before and have stayed out of treatment. I don't want this in my medical records - insurance companies would have a field day with it. And I have bills to pay which I can't do if I'm sitting in a group talking about my mother and my family and healthy eating habits and coping mechanisms while being force fed and not able to take a shit by myself despite not being bulimic. Thanks but no thanks. Seriously doubt that would work for me. And I'd be taken off the Wellbutrin. Maybe this belongs in first world problems. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch - I can't trust myself anymore. I just need to get my shit together and this will fade into the background again.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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31-01-2016, 03:58 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 01:39 AM)Nurse Wrote:  I'm traveling back down a path of misery I'm all too familiar with and I don't know how to stop it. Part of me says I want and need help, the other part says I don't. Hell, I don't have time for help - granted lack of control is why I'm back here in the first place. I've managed before and have stayed out of treatment. I don't want this in my medical records - insurance companies would have a field day with it. And I have bills to pay which I can't do if I'm sitting in a group talking about my mother and my family and healthy eating habits and coping mechanisms while being force fed and not able to take a shit by myself despite not being bulimic. Thanks but no thanks. Seriously doubt that would work for me. And I'd be taken off the Wellbutrin. Maybe this belongs in first world problems. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch - I can't trust myself anymore. I just need to get my shit together and this will fade into the background again.
*Little big hug*
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31-01-2016, 09:26 AM (This post was last modified: 31-01-2016 09:55 AM by jennybee.)
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 01:39 AM)Nurse Wrote:  I'm traveling back down a path of misery I'm all too familiar with and I don't know how to stop it. Part of me says I want and need help, the other part says I don't. Hell, I don't have time for help - granted lack of control is why I'm back here in the first place. I've managed before and have stayed out of treatment. I don't want this in my medical records - insurance companies would have a field day with it. And I have bills to pay which I can't do if I'm sitting in a group talking about my mother and my family and healthy eating habits and coping mechanisms while being force fed and not able to take a shit by myself despite not being bulimic. Thanks but no thanks. Seriously doubt that would work for me. And I'd be taken off the Wellbutrin. Maybe this belongs in first world problems. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch - I can't trust myself anymore. I just need to get my shit together and this will fade into the background again.

I get how hard it is with food issues. I've been there myself years ago in high school and a bit in college. In high school I was fairly thin due to sports, like 115 at 5'6''. But that wasn't thin enough for where I lived. I grew up in a wealthy community where everyone looked like Paris Hilton. That was the standard. So I lightened my naturally dark hair, went tanning, overexercised, and avoided food.

It didn't help that I started modeling in high school and at that point, I was 100 pounds at 5'6''. The modeling agency told me I needed to lose another 5 lbs. I went to a doctor because I stopped menstruating due to my significantly low body weight. My doctor told my mother that I needed to stop modeling and so my mother yanked me out of that agency. I went to a therapist and got back to a healthy weight, but then college came and food and stress went hand in hand for me. Like everyone, I gained weight in college and began overexercising. I'm talking waking up at 4 am and exercising for 3.5 hours before classes started. After getting my degrees, things stabilized and I went back to normal eating but was still exercising obsessively. I felt like it was something I could not stop.

My mom (who sounds like your mom from some of your posts) was not a big help in all of this because she was just as obsessed with food and body image and exercise as I was. She was always trying to achieve this ideal "skinny-ness" herself and would constantly be on diets and tell me that I needed to lose weight--even though I was at a healthy weight for my height. She taught me that thin='s self-worth. Thin='s attractive. I was constantly fighting for an ideal and I was freakin' miserable. My life was consumed by exercise and watching every piece of food I put in my mouth. I didn't think it would ever end. I never saw myself liking my body because I always saw something that could be toned, something that could be tighter. I naturally have curves (like Sofia Vergara) but I was trying to and wanted to look like Keira Knightley. Keira Knightley's body is just not an attainable thing for me given the fact that my body is not made that way. I have hips and boobs. I can't change that, no matter how much I undereat and exercise. I hated that my body did not look like hers no matter what I did.

I thought I would always be that way about food and exercise. I ended up hurting my knee from overexercising--which ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me--because it led me to yoga. I'm not saying yoga is for everyone--but it was life changing for me. It got rid of my knee pain, but more importantly it changed how I view myself. Yoga's premise is to love your body as is. It's philosophies promote that way of thinking. It clears out negative thinking about yourself and promotes body acceptance. It gives you a new way of thinking about yourself, about food, about exercise. It promotes self-worth and loving yourself. It provides you a shield to the outside world and gives you a healthy way to deal with stress and anxiety, instead of unhealthy ways through undereating and overexercise, etc. I love my body now more than ever and love food more than ever. I don't overexercise and I enjoy eating. I use tools I learned in yoga and I don't let my mother (or others) negative thinking get to me anymore.

I tried therapy, I tried all kinds of things. Yoga is the only thing that worked for me physically and mentally. I wasn't even looking for that with yoga--I was just looking for a natural way to cure my knee pain and ended up curing my insecurities/anxiety/stress/depression/body image issues in the process. If you do decide to give yoga a try--I would recommend going to a studio (instead of a gym). In my experience, yoga studios tend to promote the philosophies I was talking about over what I have found in a gym.

Anyway, just thought I would share what worked for me. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time right now, but you're a strong person and you will make it through. [size=xx-small]
Hug

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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31-01-2016, 02:23 PM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 09:26 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(31-01-2016 01:39 AM)Nurse Wrote:  I'm traveling back down a path of misery I'm all too familiar with and I don't know how to stop it. Part of me says I want and need help, the other part says I don't. Hell, I don't have time for help - granted lack of control is why I'm back here in the first place. I've managed before and have stayed out of treatment. I don't want this in my medical records - insurance companies would have a field day with it. And I have bills to pay which I can't do if I'm sitting in a group talking about my mother and my family and healthy eating habits and coping mechanisms while being force fed and not able to take a shit by myself despite not being bulimic. Thanks but no thanks. Seriously doubt that would work for me. And I'd be taken off the Wellbutrin. Maybe this belongs in first world problems. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch - I can't trust myself anymore. I just need to get my shit together and this will fade into the background again.

I get how hard it is with food issues. I've been there myself years ago in high school and a bit in college. In high school I was fairly thin due to sports, like 115 at 5'6''. But that wasn't thin enough for where I lived. I grew up in a wealthy community where everyone looked like Paris Hilton. That was the standard. So I lightened my naturally dark hair, went tanning, overexercised, and avoided food.

It didn't help that I started modeling in high school and at that point, I was 100 pounds at 5'6''. The modeling agency told me I needed to lose another 5 lbs. I went to a doctor because I stopped menstruating due to my significantly low body weight. My doctor told my mother that I needed to stop modeling and so my mother yanked me out of that agency. I went to a therapist and got back to a healthy weight, but then college came and food and stress went hand in hand for me. Like everyone, I gained weight in college and began overexercising. I'm talking waking up at 4 am and exercising for 3.5 hours before classes started. After getting my degrees, things stabilized and I went back to normal eating but was still exercising obsessively. I felt like it was something I could not stop.

My mom (who sounds like your mom from some of your posts) was not a big help in all of this because she was just as obsessed with food and body image and exercise as I was. She was always trying to achieve this ideal "skinny-ness" herself and would constantly be on diets and tell me that I needed to lose weight--even though I was at a healthy weight for my height. She taught me that thin='s self-worth. Thin='s attractive. I was constantly fighting for an ideal and I was freakin' miserable. My life was consumed by exercise and watching every piece of food I put in my mouth. I didn't think it would ever end. I never saw myself liking my body because I always saw something that could be toned, something that could be tighter. I naturally have curves (like Sofia Vergara) but I was trying to and wanted to look like Keira Knightley. Keira Knightley's body is just not an attainable thing for me given the fact that my body is not made that way. I have hips and boobs. I can't change that, no matter how much I undereat and exercise. I hated that my body did not look like hers no matter what I did.

I thought I would always be that way about food and exercise. I ended up hurting my knee from overexercising--which ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me--because it led me to yoga. I'm not saying yoga is for everyone--but it was life changing for me. It got rid of my knee pain, but more importantly it changed how I view myself. Yoga's premise is to love your body as is. It's philosophies promote that way of thinking. It clears out negative thinking about yourself and promotes body acceptance. It gives you a new way of thinking about yourself, about food, about exercise. It promotes self-worth and loving yourself. It provides you a shield to the outside world and gives you a healthy way to deal with stress and anxiety, instead of unhealthy ways through undereating and overexercise, etc. I love my body now more than ever and love food more than ever. I don't overexercise and I enjoy eating. I use tools I learned in yoga and I don't let my mother (or others) negative thinking get to me anymore.

I tried therapy, I tried all kinds of things. Yoga is the only thing that worked for me physically and mentally. I wasn't even looking for that with yoga--I was just looking for a natural way to cure my knee pain and ended up curing my insecurities/anxiety/stress/depression/body image issues in the process. If you do decide to give yoga a try--I would recommend going to a studio (instead of a gym). In my experience, yoga studios tend to promote the philosophies I was talking about over what I have found in a gym.

Anyway, just thought I would share what worked for me. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time right now, but you're a strong person and you will make it through. [size=xx-small]
Hug

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Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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