The Whispering Thread
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31-01-2016, 02:57 PM (This post was last modified: 31-01-2016 03:01 PM by jennybee.)
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 02:23 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(31-01-2016 09:26 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I get how hard it is with food issues. I've been there myself years ago in high school and a bit in college. In high school I was fairly thin due to sports, like 115 at 5'6''. But that wasn't thin enough for where I lived. I grew up in a wealthy community where everyone looked like Paris Hilton. That was the standard. So I lightened my naturally dark hair, went tanning, overexercised, and avoided food.

It didn't help that I started modeling in high school and at that point, I was 100 pounds at 5'6''. The modeling agency told me I needed to lose another 5 lbs. I went to a doctor because I stopped menstruating due to my significantly low body weight. My doctor told my mother that I needed to stop modeling and so my mother yanked me out of that agency. I went to a therapist and got back to a healthy weight, but then college came and food and stress went hand in hand for me. Like everyone, I gained weight in college and began overexercising. I'm talking waking up at 4 am and exercising for 3.5 hours before classes started. After getting my degrees, things stabilized and I went back to normal eating but was still exercising obsessively. I felt like it was something I could not stop.

My mom (who sounds like your mom from some of your posts) was not a big help in all of this because she was just as obsessed with food and body image and exercise as I was. She was always trying to achieve this ideal "skinny-ness" herself and would constantly be on diets and tell me that I needed to lose weight--even though I was at a healthy weight for my height. She taught me that thin='s self-worth. Thin='s attractive. I was constantly fighting for an ideal and I was freakin' miserable. My life was consumed by exercise and watching every piece of food I put in my mouth. I didn't think it would ever end. I never saw myself liking my body because I always saw something that could be toned, something that could be tighter. I naturally have curves (like Sofia Vergara) but I was trying to and wanted to look like Keira Knightley. Keira Knightley's body is just not an attainable thing for me given the fact that my body is not made that way. I have hips and boobs. I can't change that, no matter how much I undereat and exercise. I hated that my body did not look like hers no matter what I did.

I thought I would always be that way about food and exercise. I ended up hurting my knee from overexercising--which ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me--because it led me to yoga. I'm not saying yoga is for everyone--but it was life changing for me. It got rid of my knee pain, but more importantly it changed how I view myself. Yoga's premise is to love your body as is. It's philosophies promote that way of thinking. It clears out negative thinking about yourself and promotes body acceptance. It gives you a new way of thinking about yourself, about food, about exercise. It promotes self-worth and loving yourself. It provides you a shield to the outside world and gives you a healthy way to deal with stress and anxiety, instead of unhealthy ways through undereating and overexercise, etc. I love my body now more than ever and love food more than ever. I don't overexercise and I enjoy eating. I use tools I learned in yoga and I don't let my mother (or others) negative thinking get to me anymore.

I tried therapy, I tried all kinds of things. Yoga is the only thing that worked for me physically and mentally. I wasn't even looking for that with yoga--I was just looking for a natural way to cure my knee pain and ended up curing my insecurities/anxiety/stress/depression/body image issues in the process. If you do decide to give yoga a try--I would recommend going to a studio (instead of a gym). In my experience, yoga studios tend to promote the philosophies I was talking about over what I have found in a gym.

Anyway, just thought I would share what worked for me. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time right now, but you're a strong person and you will make it through. [size=xx-small]
Hug

[img]https://

Everyone has their preference of who they are attracted to. Some men/women would prefer the lady on the right, some men/women would prefer more of Marilyn-type body. One of my best friends has a Keira Knightley body--just naturally--that's how she is built. In the past I wished my body looked more like hers and she wished hers looked more like mine. I think society constantly tells women they are not ideal, not good enough, no matter how their bodies look and as a result, end up wanting what they don't have.

The fashion industry told me I needed to look like my friend in order to have a chance of finding work. Playboy and Victoria's Secret type ads told my friend she needed to have a body like mine in order to be considered sexually attractive. Regardless of how we naturally look, we never think we are good enough thanks to society and its ridiculous standards of beauty for women.

I think both women in the above photos are beautiful. Both women deserve to be called pretty and desired. Both women deserve to be healthy--whatever that is for their body and for them.

My text thing didn't work so I couldn't get this one to whisper. Just pretend I am talking in a hushed tone Big Grin
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31-01-2016, 03:03 PM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(31-01-2016 02:57 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think both women in the above photos are beautiful. Both women deserve to be called pretty and desired. Both women deserve to be healthy--whatever that is for their body and for them.

^^ Is True Smile They're both rather attractive Blush

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-02-2016, 01:35 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.[size=xx-small]
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20-02-2016, 01:52 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.[size=xx-small]

*hugs*
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20-02-2016, 01:54 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.[size=xx-small]

It's sad. People can be disappointing though. And that's why I prefer relationship with literature*.


*Being arrogant also has something to do with it I guess.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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20-02-2016, 05:28 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.

What kinda rship do you want?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-02-2016, 06:47 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 05:28 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.

What kinda rship do you want?

Something without elation.
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20-02-2016, 08:19 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 05:28 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.

What kinda rship do you want?

Someone who's honest, caring, thoughtful, passionate, masculine, adventurous, in decent shape so we can go do active things together, funny, romantic, someone I'm compatible with, someone who only wants me
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20-02-2016, 09:32 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.[size=xx-small]
Have you considered lowering your standards?
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20-02-2016, 09:40 AM
RE: The Whispering Thread
(20-02-2016 09:32 AM)jabeady Wrote:  
(20-02-2016 01:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Realizing that the kind of rship I want doesn't exist.[size=xx-small]
Have you considered lowering your standards?

If you look at my response to what kind of person I am looking for--I don't think my wants in a potential mate are unreasonable. And if I have to lower my standards beyond that, I'd rather be alone.
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