The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
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14-03-2011, 07:34 PM
 
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
(14-03-2011 05:10 PM)Sacrieur Wrote:  
(14-03-2011 02:03 PM)GassyKitten Wrote:  
(14-03-2011 01:48 PM)The Doctor Wrote:  Well I did talk too my mother. Things are going to be ok as long I don't let them hear my atheist ideas.
I wonder, does the door swing both ways on this? I.E. Will they not allow themselves to cause you to hear their Theist ideas?

I doubt it.

I got told I don't know anything about logic and that burden of proof doesn't exist in this house because it is theirs, and they make the rules.

At that point I was like, "what?"
I don't blame you. I'd have been the same way. Though what may be seen as an answer to that ("what?") is, they're confident they refuse to be educated about anything that's not already part of their belief system.

I grew up in a family that, while my mom and dad would always have my back on just about anything, were those who lived up to the true emphasis behind that oft seen bumper sticker (Especially in the south. No, we're not from the south. Tongue) . The Bible says it, I believe it and that's it.
Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians. I figure they exist for a reason. Though reason has little to do with it. HAAAAA! Oh laugh mom! Wherever you are. Tongue
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15-03-2011, 10:52 AM
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
GK, didn't say the anger was unwarranted. Just surprising Smile
TheDoc, am I understanding that you're an atheist Buddhist, or am I misinterpreting the thread?

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15-03-2011, 11:59 AM (This post was last modified: 15-03-2011 12:02 PM by The Doctor.)
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
(15-03-2011 10:52 AM)cfhmagnet Wrote:  GK, didn't say the anger was unwarranted. Just surprising Smile
TheDoc, am I understanding that you're an atheist Buddhist, or am I misinterpreting the thread?

Yes, a bit more called an Skeptical Buddhist more like it. I support the 4 Noble Truths and the Eightfold path, but the idea of rebirth and karma affecting the next birth. I am skeptical about.

Technically, Buddhists are atheists.

Here is a great talk about Buddhism and Atheism by Ajahn Brahm:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRutmoPEWaQ

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“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” ~ Gautama Buddha
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15-03-2011, 12:27 PM
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
(15-03-2011 11:59 AM)The Doctor Wrote:  
(15-03-2011 10:52 AM)cfhmagnet Wrote:  GK, didn't say the anger was unwarranted. Just surprising Smile
TheDoc, am I understanding that you're an atheist Buddhist, or am I misinterpreting the thread?

Yes, a bit more called an Skeptical Buddhist more like it. I support the 4 Noble Truths and the Eightfold path, but the idea of rebirth and karma affecting the next birth. I am skeptical about.

Technically, Buddhists are atheists.

Here is a great talk about Buddhism and Atheism by Ajahn Brahm:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRutmoPEWaQ
Wow, thanks man. That is excellent, and I only had time to watch 10 minutes. Will watch the rest after work and homework tonight. Do you have any good links on Buddhism? I've been interested in Buddhism for a while, and that interest waxes and wanes depending on the source I find, and you just made it more interesting again.

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15-03-2011, 01:56 PM
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
I kind of have a similar situation, my mother now treats me different because I am an atheist and favors my sisters over myself because they still believe what they were taught.

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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17-03-2011, 05:55 AM
 
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be incredibly difficult. Unfortunately it's hard for me to truly understand your situation. I'm 36 now and although my wife believes in the concept of a personal god, we have agree to raise our 20-month old son free of religion. My parents have been indifferent in regards to my atheism; they don't care what I believe as long as I'm happy.

I honestly think it has a lot to do with living here in northern NJ where the population density is so thick and filled with so many people from all over the world who practice different religions. Within a quarter mile radius I can think of, off the top of my head, 12 buildings dedicated to distinctly different religions from Methodist to Hindu to Judaism to Baptist to Islam. There is no room up here for outspoken intolerance or bigotry because no one truly knows if their religion of choice is outnumbered. I really can't imagine living anywhere else.

Another factor I think that plays into it is that my mother was born in Vienna, Austria and came here on a boat. For a number of years she endured teasing and bigotry, although not on the scale as the racial or religious type, due to her accent and broken English. So I think she is more accepting of differing opinions. Come to think of it, that may also be a feature of living in northern NJ where many immigrants came to live. Being the target of bigotry and discrimination based on something as simple as your accent, if a person's heart is good, can lead that person to be much more accepting of other people as opposed to, say, someone who lives in the Midwest whose entire community is Christian and predominantly white. Even the slightest divergence from that religious and racial homogenuity can elicit bigotry and discrimination.

Sadly, it seems you have a choice of staying in the closet around your family in regards to atheism but looking for support groups in the area or cutting the umbilical cord and moving on.

We can't choose our family. There's no law that says we HAVE to get along. Just as the color of your skin or the place of your birth is by virtue of who you are born to, so is the type of people you are born to. I had a huge falling out with my mother a few years ago (not in regards to atheism) and cut off all lines of communication with my entire family for 3 years. It took that long for my mother to understand the error of her ways and muster up the gumption to apologize. That was less than a year ago and we are all in communication and visiting on a regular basis.

Before you "came out" did you and your family discuss religion much? If no, and you still want them to be in your life, I think you should consider not bringing up atheism around your family and tell them your atheism was "just a phase" or something. Sure you may be selling yourself out but in actuality you are being the bigger person. Plus, if your family is as devout and closed-minded as you suggested, do you really want to discuss religion with them anyway? Doesn't sound like you would get anywhere with them no matter how much logic and reason you slapped them around with.
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17-03-2011, 06:39 AM
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
Hey, another NJ guy. YES. We're everywhere!

If more people were from NJ, the world would have fewer problems. And, the problems we had would be solved by guys in track suits holding baseball bats!

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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17-03-2011, 07:02 AM
 
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
(17-03-2011 06:39 AM)BnW Wrote:  Hey, another NJ guy. YES. We're everywhere!

If more people were from NJ, the world would have fewer problems. And, the problems we had would be solved by guys in track suits holding baseball bats!

A Utopian vision!
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17-03-2011, 09:06 PM (This post was last modified: 17-03-2011 09:10 PM by karlt10.)
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
It's a shame that people put higher priority in an unseen, unproven 'god' over that of their family.

My mother and step-father certainly believe in god. It's not a subject to be discussed, so it simply doesn't come-up. At the same time, I haven't bowed my head for holiday dinners in 15 years or so and my mother certainly has seen it. Perhaps she does not want to acknowledge/accept it. Then again, this is the same woman who didn't worry when I had two-tone hair and earrings in high school; she knew I was a good person and the exterior didn't determine the interior. (only thing she EVER asked was that I didn't smoke in front of my grandparents)

I am fortunate in that my best friend is also my next-closest brother, and he almost certainly does not believe in a god. My sisters certainly believe in a god, as-does my oldest brother, but oh well. If members of my family cannot place my existence before that of their 'god', then I do not need them.
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20-03-2011, 11:52 AM
 
RE: The bad thing being an out of the closet atheist.
I come from a very Christian family, so the shock of me "running out of the closed" was expected. Still, I was extremely dissapointed with all the thing my family said. My mother was so mad she told me I should go see a shrink. Almost all of my friends are theist (one of them thinks she's agnostic) and none of them trusts my decision is final. I'm going insane with all the god talk and how everyone is expecting some kind of miracle re-theism (as in being a theist again) of me.
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