The concept of forgiveness
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18-10-2014, 12:32 AM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
True forgiveness is the art of changing yourself so that your relationships will not hurt you again.
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18-10-2014, 08:43 AM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
I don't take anything personally so forgiveness is not really an issue. That's not your say I won't destroy someone whose objectives are in conflict with my own, but that's just me being a proactive problem solver, not passing judgement or holding a grudge.

'Murican Canadian
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18-10-2014, 11:21 AM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
I myself have always allowed people second chances (depending on the circumstances of the situation), but second chances only, because we're all human and even I have desired a second chance from someone before. Even I have fucked up and hurt someone and wanted a chance to repair what I broke.

However, do not forgive someone over and over. I myself try to see the best in people at all times, BUT do not let yourself be someone's doormat. You're not a doormat, you're a person, and allowing yourself to be a doormat is abusive to yourself.
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18-10-2014, 12:06 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
Forgiving someone doesn't make you a doormat for them to endlessly hurt you. It's just circular garbage where forgiveness becomes expected instead of legitimately offered.
"Oh you're just mad right now but you'll get over it."

Sometimes the best thing, is to forgive them and just never speak to them again. "Yes, I forgive you but you cannot be part of my life anymore."

Otherwise the only person to forgive is yourself. That's often the hardest part.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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18-10-2014, 04:00 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
Ferdinand and moms, I like your advice very much. I've always blurred forgiveness with acceptance, most of my life. It's ok to quarantine one's self with certain people who don't have your best interest at heart but forgive within yourself so you can move on.

It's also a byproduct of my former Christian mindset that if I don't forgive, this makes me a bad person. Or if I don't extend friendship to all who seek it from me, that I'm somehow in the wrong.

Thank you both Heart

Be true to yourself. Heart
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18-10-2014, 07:00 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
(18-10-2014 08:43 AM)yakherder Wrote:  I don't take anything personally so forgiveness is not really an issue. That's not your say I won't destroy someone whose objectives are in conflict with my own, but that's just me being a proactive problem solver, not passing judgement or holding a grudge.

What do you mean by ''proactive problem solver?'' This is a very curious reply...I'm intrigued. Consider

Be true to yourself. Heart
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18-10-2014, 09:42 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
(18-10-2014 04:00 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  Ferdinand and moms, I like your advice very much. I've always blurred forgiveness with acceptance, most of my life. It's ok to quarantine one's self with certain people who don't have your best interest at heart but forgive within yourself so you can move on.

It's also a byproduct of my former Christian mindset that if I don't forgive, this makes me a bad person. Or if I don't extend friendship to all who seek it from me, that I'm somehow in the wrong.

Thank you both Heart

Don't even relate "forgiving makes you a better person" with Christianity anymore, because that's not the point. Forgiving to be a better person is not the point. The point is that holding grudges only makes you bitter. Forgiving (and forgetting) allows you to let it go so you can move on from it.
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18-10-2014, 09:54 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
(18-10-2014 07:00 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(18-10-2014 08:43 AM)yakherder Wrote:  I don't take anything personally so forgiveness is not really an issue. That's not your say I won't destroy someone whose objectives are in conflict with my own, but that's just me being a proactive problem solver, not passing judgement or holding a grudge.

What do you mean by ''proactive problem solver?'' This is a very curious reply...I'm intrigued. Consider

I was referring primarily to the concept of smashing people or things that are in my way, but in a manner that makes it sound less bad by using different words.

'Murican Canadian
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19-10-2014, 12:10 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
Forgiving is about giving yourself permission to move on. It is not about condoning someone's actions.
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19-10-2014, 01:23 PM
RE: The concept of forgiveness
(18-10-2014 09:42 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(18-10-2014 04:00 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  Ferdinand and moms, I like your advice very much. I've always blurred forgiveness with acceptance, most of my life. It's ok to quarantine one's self with certain people who don't have your best interest at heart but forgive within yourself so you can move on.

It's also a byproduct of my former Christian mindset that if I don't forgive, this makes me a bad person. Or if I don't extend friendship to all who seek it from me, that I'm somehow in the wrong.

Thank you both Heart


Don't even relate "forgiving makes you a better person" with Christianity anymore, because that's not the point. Forgiving to be a better person is not the point. The point is that holding grudges only makes you bitter. Forgiving (and forgetting) allows you to let it go so you can move on from it.
Maybe we shouldn't forget, lest we make the same errors again. Just sayin
Thanks, Ferdinand. Heart

Be true to yourself. Heart
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