The most amount of pain you have felt.
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14-02-2014, 12:09 AM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(13-02-2014 11:34 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Yes, the children may be worth it, but I'm not sure there is any other animal with a more fucked up birthing process than homo sapiens.

I call the Surinam toad to the stand. Ms. Surinam, how do you give birth?

"Well, I don't give birth per se, my partner and I jump from the floor and spin around in the water while in amplexus position and I release eggs into the water which he then embeds in to my back. My babies grow through larvae, to tadpole to fully formed toad all in my back and then they burst forth and go to live their solitary Surinam toad lives."

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14-02-2014, 12:13 AM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
That was one of the ones I didn't want to mention.

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14-02-2014, 12:23 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(14-02-2014 12:09 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(13-02-2014 11:34 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Yes, the children may be worth it, but I'm not sure there is any other animal with a more fucked up birthing process than homo sapiens.

I call the Surinam toad to the stand. Ms. Surinam, how do you give birth?

"Well, I don't give birth per se, my partner and I jump from the floor and spin around in the water while in amplexus position and I release eggs into the water which he then embeds in to my back. My babies grow through larvae, to tadpole to fully formed toad all in my back and then they burst forth and go to live their solitary Surinam toad lives."

That seems much more preferable to "I carry a something the size of a pineapple in my belly for 9 months and then push it through my cervix in a multiple-hour long ordeal.

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14-02-2014, 12:35 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(14-02-2014 12:23 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  
(14-02-2014 12:09 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I call the Surinam toad to the stand. Ms. Surinam, how do you give birth?

"Well, I don't give birth per se, my partner and I jump from the floor and spin around in the water while in amplexus position and I release eggs into the water which he then embeds in to my back. My babies grow through larvae, to tadpole to fully formed toad all in my back and then they burst forth and go to live their solitary Surinam toad lives."

That seems much more preferable to "I carry a something the size of a pineapple in my belly for 9 months and then push it through my cervix in a multiple-hour long ordeal.

Size of a pineapple? Blink All three of my kids were at least 8 pounds...that would be one big ass pineapple!

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14-02-2014, 12:44 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(14-02-2014 12:35 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(14-02-2014 12:23 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  That seems much more preferable to "I carry a something the size of a pineapple in my belly for 9 months and then push it through my cervix in a multiple-hour long ordeal.

Size of a pineapple? Blink All three of my kids were at least 8 pounds...that would be one big ass pineapple!

Well whatever, I wanted to use a fruit image. Dodgy

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14-02-2014, 01:11 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(14-02-2014 12:44 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  
(14-02-2014 12:35 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Size of a pineapple? Blink All three of my kids were at least 8 pounds...that would be one big ass pineapple!

Well whatever, I wanted to use a fruit image. Dodgy

Watermelon

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14-02-2014, 01:21 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(14-02-2014 01:11 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
(14-02-2014 12:44 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Well whatever, I wanted to use a fruit image. Dodgy

Watermelon

Yeah, that probably would have been a better one to use.

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14-02-2014, 01:54 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
Damn, a pineapple would be like a cheese grater coming out backwards... tho.. Consider a watermelon would go shooting across the room after the mid way point. Blink

Either way, OUCH ! Ohmy

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14-02-2014, 04:53 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
(14-02-2014 12:23 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  
(14-02-2014 12:09 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I call the Surinam toad to the stand. Ms. Surinam, how do you give birth?

"Well, I don't give birth per se, my partner and I jump from the floor and spin around in the water while in amplexus position and I release eggs into the water which he then embeds in to my back. My babies grow through larvae, to tadpole to fully formed toad all in my back and then they burst forth and go to live their solitary Surinam toad lives."

That seems much more preferable to "I carry a something the size of a pineapple in my belly for 9 months and then push it through my cervix in a multiple-hour long ordeal.

At least ours come out of an already existing hole normally, Tartarus. and we usually only have one coming out at a time, as opposed to the 3-10 toads in the Surinam's back!

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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14-02-2014, 09:30 PM
RE: The most amount of pain you have felt.
Getting my nipples pierced was up there on the pain scale. Funny as shit, though. Everyone in the front room heard me yelling profanities. Two people in a room down the hall (a tattoo artist and his client) both poked their heads out the door simultaneously. Despite the pain, I had to laugh.

My lips hurt like hell, too. In a different way, though. With the nipples, it was just flesh being pierced with a cold needle, but with the lips, there's muscle tissue involved. It was a deeper kind of pain.

Then there was the time the dentist accidentally found a deep cavity with the little hook she was using to poke around in my mouth. (I'll leave that to your imagination)

Ripping my rotator cuff wasn't fun. (On any of the 3 occasions that I did it) The first time was the worst; I felt a *pop* and then a deep soreness in my shoulder. I didn't think much of it. The next morning I woke up and, the second I tried to move my arm, it felt like someone punched me in the chest. The sharp pain shot down my torso and arm and knocked the wind out of me. For days it felt like I had a rock lodged in my shoulder joint.

My lower back injury was the only one to make me cry, though. Not because of the intensity, per se, but because of how long it lasts. My disk(s) had been pinched, so they swell up and rub against the sciatic nerve. It feels like your lower back and pelvis has been destroyed by a sledge-hammer and the bone is cracked and broken into pieces. The only position that didn't make me feel like I couldn't breathe because of the pain was laying on my back with my knees up and a folded towel placed under my pelvis. Only time in my adult life that I needed someone to rub my arm and tell me it'd be ok while I cried and begged for the pain to go away. I'll need surgery one day; just like my dad.

Here's to hoping my appendix never bursts and I never have to pass a kidney stone. lol

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