The old me.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
04-09-2012, 12:01 PM
Thumbs Down The old me.
Before you even begin to read this: I promise that I am not faking this for attention, nor am I stupid enough to plead for help when it is not needed. I understand that this is an online forum and not real life, so I understand that you cannot be here to physically help me, if you even care. Just hear me out. Just knowing that people listen to me and allow me to get everything off my chest, that helps some.

This weekend was fabulous.
I hung out with my friends, every day.
We just had an all out great time, but as soon as I would get home the tension in the atmosphere would hit me in the face.
I haven't spoken to my step-mother in 3 weeks because I am an inconsiderate piece of shit and because she doesn't want to be thought of as "part of my life" or anything of the sort.
Since she is in a pissy mood, my dad also is in one.
Which doesn't make my home life any better.

I am a teenager.
We tend to isolate ourselves, tune out our parents, and focus on friends and the opposite sex. That's just what we do.
My parents don't understand that and take it as I hate living here and I want to go somewhere else.
Yes I am ready to move out, but what 16 year old isn't?
I want independence.
To be able to dress like I want.
Be who I want to be.
And just make decisions for myself.
Strangely, I want to face the real world and make my own mistakes and only be able to blame them on me.
I just want to be able to rely on myself and motivate myself to have a good life, without being under the ruling of my parents.

I don't hate them.
I love my parents.
But sometimes, I just don't like them.

Anyways, this is totally off topic.

Well last night, my parents lectured me for 2 hours.
It ended in my dad calling Ferdinand's mother a drunk, doped-up, irresponsible person and him telling me to fuck off and go live with your mother.

I was pissed off and depressed, so I called Elijah (my boyfriend) for comfort.
As we spoke, I got more and more depressed to the point where I... cut myself.
I used to do it in the past, I told Elijah about it all, and I promised him that if I ever did it again that I would tell him. So I did.
Turns out that his mother took his phone, read through his texts, and found out that I cut.
Well her youngest son is in a deep depression and is also cutting.
She claims that it is my fault that he cuts, that he learned from me, and she is trying to break me and Elijah up.

I have not spoken to him, since last night and she took his phone.
I'm afraid of losing him.
I'm afraid of being addicted to cutting myself again.
And I'm afraid of becoming who I used to be.

I just..
I don't know what to do.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 12:08 PM
RE: The old me.
Is there anywhere you can go where you feel safe? Somewhere you won't be alone? Somewhere with like-minded people?

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 01:13 PM
RE: The old me.
Firstly your not alone with depression..... there are a few people on here who suffer, myself included.

I think you definitly need some help..... I live in the UK though and things here are different to America so im not sure I can advise you on where to go and what to do without potentially making your situation more stressfull.... So I wont, I will have to leave that to somebody else.

When you stopped cutting yourself..... what was it that made you stop???

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 03:36 PM
RE: The old me.
Not gonna lecture, just gonna ask a few things, if that's ok.
1. What gave you the strength to not cut before this weekend?
2. Can you see your hun at school?
3. Is there a way to get a third party involved just so your family can sit down together and talk, but have it "guided" by someone who is not biased? (a teacher, a neighbour, a therapist,....)
4. What was it that brought this tension up and was there any way you could calm them down and talk?

Only two more years and you can leave Smile You can, you'll be fine Smile

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 03:41 PM
RE: The old me.
(04-09-2012 03:36 PM)Leela Wrote:  Only two more years and you can leave Smile You can, you'll be fine Smile

You can't move out until you are 18 in America?? Wow, you guys really have it bad.

[Image: opforum1.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like frankiej's post
04-09-2012, 03:48 PM
RE: The old me.
(04-09-2012 03:41 PM)frankiej Wrote:  
(04-09-2012 03:36 PM)Leela Wrote:  Only two more years and you can leave Smile You can, you'll be fine Smile

You can't move out until you are 18 in America?? Wow, you guys really have it bad.

Lol she's in Ireland.

And so am I Dodgy
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 03:58 PM
RE: The old me.
(04-09-2012 03:48 PM)Magoo Wrote:  
(04-09-2012 03:41 PM)frankiej Wrote:  You can't move out until you are 18 in America?? Wow, you guys really have it bad.

Lol she's in Ireland.

And so am I Dodgy

I was talking about xLegendofLink096x living in America.

[Image: opforum1.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 04:05 PM
RE: The old me.
(04-09-2012 03:58 PM)frankiej Wrote:  
(04-09-2012 03:48 PM)Magoo Wrote:  Lol she's in Ireland.

And so am I Dodgy

I was talking about xLegendofLink096x living in America.

Oh ya lol. I stoopid Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2012, 04:31 PM
RE: The old me.
(04-09-2012 03:36 PM)Leela Wrote:  Not gonna lecture, just gonna ask a few things, if that's ok.
1. What gave you the strength to not cut before this weekend?
2. Can you see your hun at school?
3. Is there a way to get a third party involved just so your family can sit down together and talk, but have it "guided" by someone who is not biased? (a teacher, a neighbour, a therapist,....)
4. What was it that brought this tension up and was there any way you could calm them down and talk?

Only two more years and you can leave Smile You can, you'll be fine Smile

1) My boyfriend.
2) No he lives in TN, but is coming to visit soon.
3) And we've already tried that and it failed.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
05-09-2012, 12:44 AM
RE: The old me.
@ Magoo, not anymore, I moved away.

@ Legend, sorry Sad Let me give you a cyberhug *cyberhugging*

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Leela's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: