The orthodox in the library
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04-10-2015, 06:10 AM
The orthodox in the library
So I'm about to turn 24. A birthday makes me reflect on the past year and I've basically had my life completely crash down around me. I finished grad school about three months ago and got a job offer a few weeks later for what I thought was my dream job. A week after I started my job I moved into a one bedroom apartment on my own for the first time at the prompting of my family, three miles from my job which was about two hours from them. It's now my second month on the job and the stress and nervousness I'm experiencing are to much for me to deal with. Let me give you a rundown of my situation.

I'm a full time librarian. While I was in grad school I worked in a children's library, a job which I came to love. But I did grad school so fast when I realized this, my courses had already been selected for the year. So I can't make a librarian career change. I'm pretty confused overall. Every librarian I know has been telling me I need to stay in this job for a year. But I can't, the stress is getting to me. Now I don't know what to do. I'm quitting my job and moving back in with my parents which had led to massive identity issue. The main reason I want to quit is because the job has resurged my depression, last week I was even thinking of suicide.

I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm always nervous. Everything I do is wrong in the eyes of my supervisor and it's not just a simple "oh you should try this instead." She knows I'm new to the field. I'm an entry level employee.

I work in a community that has a lot of Orthodox Jews. I said something one Jewish holiday after coming in ("nobody's on the roads this morning, everyone must be on vacation") and I preceded to get a lecture about "microaggressions". She made me read about ten articles about Jewish history after that to make sure "I understood what was really going on in their community and it's very important I know their culture and be respectful".

As an atheist, I can't take this shit. I was not saying anything offensive, I was not making fun of everyone or insulting them. And asking any questions about the culture (and wouldn't someone new to it have questions?) is heavily frowned down upon in my workplace. And it's very hard to keep my composure when they walk into the library with a big fur hat on in the middle of the summer.

So now this is the bottom line. I'm quitting, but it's making me very depressed. I'm breaking my apartment lease to move in with my family because I feel isolated here. And I'm worried about the future of my career. Fortunately after I decided to quit later this week, the suicidal thoughts stopped and that was what prompted me to take action in the first place and get out.
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04-10-2015, 06:36 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
The new job + new home combination (two of a handful of highest-stress life events) ... I can relate. Many here can, I'd imagine.

But it seems like you've made your decision, you understand the costs and benefits of that decision and are feeling better for having decided. That's all good.

I remember when you told us about having landed the job and how excited you were. Sorry that it didn't turn out better.

I'm sure you know ... there are other libraries and other, more supportive, bosses out there, somewhere... waiting for you to find them.

The hunt begins Thumbsup

For future reference, your boss had a point with regard to knowing about the patterns of behaviour of your customers. That applies to all service industries. But being a dick about it to make someone feel inferior ... nah! You don't need that.

Just a thought ... before you leave, don't forget to move all the religious books to the Fiction section.

Wink

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04-10-2015, 06:41 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
Your boss sounds crazy. No worries re quitting. Better to do that I think.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-10-2015, 06:49 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
Just so you can get an idea of what I'm talking about. Wouldn't someone wearing this in August make you question their sanity.

http://www.peterpalms.com/shtreimel/silk%20coat.jpg
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04-10-2015, 06:50 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
(04-10-2015 06:49 AM)jerseygirlar Wrote:  Just so you can get an idea of what I'm talking about. Wouldn't someone wearing this in August make you question their sanity.

http://www.peterpalms.com/shtreimel/silk%20coat.jpg

I don't think it's the time of year that'd make me wonder...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-10-2015, 06:55 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
Thanks for your encouraging words. I'm still left with the what should I do now question. Libraries aren't exactly a booming field. But during grad school I took some programming classes and information systems classes so I think I'm going to try to find a job where I can use that.

(04-10-2015 06:36 AM)DLJ Wrote:  The new job + new home combination (two of a handful of highest-stress life events) ... I can relate. Many here can, I'd imagine.

But it seems like you've made your decision, you understand the costs and benefits of that decision and are feeling better for having decided. That's all good.

I remember when you told us about having landed the job and how excited you were. Sorry that it didn't turn out better.

I'm sure you know ... there are other libraries and other, more supportive, bosses out there, somewhere... waiting for you to find them.

The hunt begins Thumbsup

For future reference, your boss had a point with regard to knowing about the patterns of behaviour of your customers. That applies to all service industries. But being a dick about it to make someone feel inferior ... nah! You don't need that.

Just a thought ... before you leave, don't forget to move all the religious books to the Fiction section.

Wink
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04-10-2015, 06:59 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
Good luck with moving back home and looking for a new job. I'm sorry that the first job wasn't a good fit.

I worked at my college library during undergrad and at a trade association library as my second job after college and was always kind of surprised at how vicious a workplace libraries could be. Working around books always made me happy, but there were some awfully bitter and unhappy librarians on staff. Few and far between, but the miserable ones were intent on spreading pain.
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04-10-2015, 07:59 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
(04-10-2015 06:55 AM)jerseygirlar Wrote:  Thanks for your encouraging words. I'm still left with the what should I do now question.
...

You are 24.

I'm 51.

I've never had an answer to that question.

My approach was / is to do 'something'. After that, things just happen ... usually good things.

And the bad things are learning experiences ... so that's good too.

Big Grin

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04-10-2015, 10:50 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
Do whatever you want to do. Life is made to enjoy.

By the way, I try to be tolerant of religions but I've given up on that. I really do not like Jews and if I had to live around many of them, I'd hang myself in the nearest barn. Big Grin Trust me on this. I'm 68 years old and I've had my fill of Jews [and Christians and Muslims and Hindus, etc. etc. etc. ]
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04-10-2015, 11:13 AM
RE: The orthodox in the library
You'd have to be extremely lucky to find a workplace where you can be perfectly happy with your boss or co-workers. However, that doesn't mean you should always grit your teeth and bear with it, rather knowing when to walk away, as you did, is a very important skill.

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