The shit just hit the fan
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13-11-2014, 06:44 PM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
Good luck, TN. Sounds like a dreadful situation. They are not going to change.

Talk about the weather when you have to see them.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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13-11-2014, 06:57 PM (This post was last modified: 13-11-2014 07:18 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: The shit just hit the fan
(13-11-2014 06:31 PM)TN Skeptic Wrote:  Also worthy to note that when we left the church my son was 8 at the time. I wasn't sure what direction we were headed in and definitely didn't know how to tell him that I was questioning everything I had taught him about god since he was born.

Since then I have allowed my parents to continue to take my children to their church. Now when my kids get home we talk about what they learned and try to teach them to honestly think about what were taught. It's a tough situation. I'm sure there is a better way to handle it without putting my little ones in the middle and without hurting someone.

Shew...it's just one hot mess!!!

In order for this atheist to get properly married to a good Catholic schoolgirl in front of a Priest in a Catholic Church some 30 years ago now I had to promise to some Bishop or somesuch not to interfere with the Catholic education of any resulting devil spawn. I kept my word. I did not promise not to teach them how to reason. Hell, many great logicians were highly religious. Catholic even. I didn't have a problem with them going to Church. When they got back I didn't discuss what they heard, I gave them a completely secular lesson in logic. Devil spawn turned into 4 fine young adult couldn'tgivelessofashit atheists.

#sigh
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13-11-2014, 07:33 PM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
(13-11-2014 06:57 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(13-11-2014 06:31 PM)TN Skeptic Wrote:  Also worthy to note that when we left the church my son was 8 at the time. I wasn't sure what direction we were headed in and definitely didn't know how to tell him that I was questioning everything I had taught him about god since he was born.

Since then I have allowed my parents to continue to take my children to their church. Now when my kids get home we talk about what they learned and try to teach them to honestly think about what were taught. It's a tough situation. I'm sure there is a better way to handle it without putting my little ones in the middle and without hurting someone.

Shew...it's just one hot mess!!!

In order for this atheist to get properly married to a good Catholic schoolgirl in front of a Priest in a Catholic Church some 30 years ago now I had to promise to some Bishop or somesuch not to interfere with the Catholic education of any resulting devil spawn. I kept my word. I did not promise not to teach them how to reason. Hell, many great logicians were highly religious. Catholic even. I didn't have a problem with them going to Church. When they got back I didn't discuss what they heard, I gave them a completely secular lesson in logic. Devil spawn turned into 4 fine young adult couldn'tgivelessofashit atheists.

This makes me happy to hear. Knowing that it is possible to raise rational thinkers while attending church gives me hope that we can work out something very similair!
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13-11-2014, 07:54 PM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
Only thing I can suggest is simply to avoid the subject as much as possible. That way you're not hurting anyone, but you're not faking it either.

Let people assume whatever they want about you... If they ask outright, then its up to you whether or not you tell them.

Personally, I prefer to cut to the chase and just say it... The arguments and tears go away eventually. But only you know your own family.

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13-11-2014, 10:52 PM (This post was last modified: 13-11-2014 11:03 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: The shit just hit the fan
(13-11-2014 07:33 PM)TN Skeptic Wrote:  This makes me happy to hear. Knowing that it is possible to raise rational thinkers while attending church gives me hope that we can work out something very similair!

Based on my own parochial education experience K-9, I can't think of anything more effective for graduating atheists. I wanted the little bastards to go to Catholic school. Tested their mettle. They all passed.

#sigh
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13-11-2014, 11:50 PM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
(13-11-2014 04:43 PM)TN Skeptic Wrote:  For what it's worth I love my mom dearly and wish no emotional or mental harm upon her. But OMG I can't do this pretending game much longer. But also can't say anything to her because I want her to be happy and stress free and just enjoy the time we have left together.

Personally I think maybe you should get some alone time with her and explain that you are an atheist - I know it sounds crazy. But I think it might hurt more if she felt you were hiding something from her. Rather just explain that this is your personal belief and that you can't force yourself to believe something that you have considered and believe to be untrue. Also mention that you can't believe that a loving God would condemn you for this - because a real God who's worth anything will value integrity and love far more than pretend-allegiance.

Just a thought. Obviously you know her best.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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14-11-2014, 08:46 AM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
Or you might try the Slip Slide Tap Dance Tango and turn the tables on her. Next time, try something like, "Gee, Mom, I learned everything about god from you. Do you doubt that you did a good job teaching me the ways of the church? You really need to trust yourself more that you raised me to be a good person. Now, how 'bout them Cowboys?"

No admission on your part, no way to answer on her part.

Big Grin

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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14-11-2014, 09:33 AM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
Wow that sounds complicated. Many of the replies here are suggesting to avoid the argument or don't tell the truth but would your mother rather you lie to her or to be honest? I don't know your upbringing but I can't imagine that she would have encouraged you to lie while you were being raised. I know that you are just trying to avoid the fights as time winds down but one thing to ask yourself is do you want your dying mother to not really know her daughter? If you start the conversation by acknowledging that she raised you not to lie and you can't do it anymore and you want to be honest with her in the time she has left, that may help (or something like what the moron said). Only you know of course whether that is true or not. It was something I thought of while reading this thread. Best of luck to you.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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14-11-2014, 09:49 AM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
Quote:but would your mother rather you lie to her or to be honest?

Theists are happiest with lies. They have sold themselves a bill a goods and are quite content with it.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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14-11-2014, 10:05 AM
RE: The shit just hit the fan
Just fake it and talk in tongues over her.
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