Theist Parenting
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22-04-2014, 12:49 PM
Shocked Theist Parenting
This wasn't quite a "debate", but a discussion:


My wife is pregnant and I am still in the closet with most people aside from her. I was chatting with a good friend while at work (who doesn't know that I don't believe anymore) and I asked him if he had any recommendations for books to read before my baby comes.

First, he recommended the bible, which I disregarded as an actual recommendation. Then this happened:


Theist: The more you learn about your own sinfulness..the better of a parent you'll be
ZachZachZachZach: That honestly makes me sad to hear.
Theist: hahaha
Theist: Seriously
ZachZachZachZach: yes
Theist: Why?


I couldn't say too much in response because I don't want to come out to him and possibly lose his friendship, but this is really fucked up.



How would you have responded?

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22-04-2014, 01:03 PM
RE: Theist Parenting
(22-04-2014 12:49 PM)zachzachzachzach Wrote:  This wasn't quite a "debate", but a discussion:


My wife is pregnant and I am still in the closet with most people aside from her. I was chatting with a good friend while at work (who doesn't know that I don't believe anymore) and I asked him if he had any recommendations for books to read before my baby comes.

First, he recommended the bible, which I disregarded as an actual recommendation. Then this happened:


Theist: The more you learn about your own sinfulness..the better of a parent you'll be
ZachZachZachZach: That honestly makes me sad to hear.
Theist: hahaha
Theist: Seriously
ZachZachZachZach: yes
Theist: Why?


I couldn't say too much in response because I don't want to come out to him and possibly lose his friendship, but this is really fucked up.



How would you have responded?

I would have asked how knowing your own sinfulness can make you a better parent?
then depending on his response, I would indicate that I have trouble squaring that circle. As though you had honest doubts about it. That as a father, you find a certain ethical dilemma with making a child, then condemning (even lovingly), that child for whom he is. That as a father, you could not fathom punishing your child or even remotely holding him accountable for something your great great great great great great.......great great great grandfather did.
Then ask him how he feels about doing that to his own kids?


You have an opportunity to ask a question that could possibly plant the seed of doubt that can break this man from his blind servitude.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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22-04-2014, 01:25 PM (This post was last modified: 24-04-2014 11:24 AM by LadyJane.)
RE: Theist Parenting
I would rather be a role model to my kids by building on my strengths instead of my weaknesses, I really hope my daughters (kids) do the same for themselves.

(Positive reinforcement)
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22-04-2014, 01:26 PM
RE: Theist Parenting
(22-04-2014 01:03 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  You have an opportunity to ask a question that could possibly plant the seed of doubt that can break this man from his blind servitude.

It is still an open topic with him, so I still may have the opportunity to do that. This is a really good friend of mine who is very depressed in life and to hear this coming from him makes me genuinely sad for him, his wife, and his baby.

Thanks for the input Smile

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22-04-2014, 01:59 PM
RE: Theist Parenting
I would have asked for him to explain his point. Maybe since you are friends you know what he was talking about, but there could be more there. Knowing the ways you have failed in the past and addressing them can make you better in the present.
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24-04-2014, 08:07 AM
RE: Theist Parenting
(22-04-2014 01:03 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  You have an opportunity to ask a question that could possibly plant the seed of doubt that can break this man from his blind servitude.

This is probably the best advice. Certainly better than my snarky suggestion that you say

"Why would I read a book that's only two mentions of children is 'teach them while they're young' and 'if you don't beat them, you'll spoil them'?"
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24-04-2014, 08:46 AM
RE: Theist Parenting
I... what? I'm a Christian, and I don't get what he's saying.

I guess I'm just dumb or dense.

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24-04-2014, 09:55 AM (This post was last modified: 24-04-2014 10:08 AM by CleverUsername.)
RE: Theist Parenting
The guy suggested the book that tells you smashing kids' heads on rocks is a good thing was a good read for an expecting couple.

I would have responded by backing away slowly.
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24-04-2014, 10:02 AM
RE: Theist Parenting
(22-04-2014 12:49 PM)zachzachzachzach Wrote:  I asked him if he had any recommendations for .......

I think you knew before you asked that he would have some sort of answer along those lines.


I don't ask advice from theists, makes my life much less frustrating.

Smile


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24-04-2014, 11:53 AM
RE: Theist Parenting
"Because sin isn't a thing. I need to know how to not fuck up my kids too badly and teach them how to question. Not how to stone them to death if they disobey me."


Would have been my response.

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