Theist girlfriend
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15-11-2010, 08:36 AM
RE: Theist girlfriend
I'm with No.J on this. A long term relationship where you views need to be stifled to avoid upsetting her because they contradict her views is not a good starting point for a life together. In theory this can work - I know Jews married to Christians as an example - but it can only work if there is a mutual respect for each of your beliefs (or non-belief). Oh, and No.J is also right, in my opinion, about the control element here.

Unlike Judaism and Christianity, which both believe in a God, theism and atheism have no real middle ground so it becomes more difficult. If religion is important to her, and it sounds like it is at least somewhat, then you're going to have a problem over time. You know here and you need to do what you think is best, but it sounds like you're setting yourself for an inevitable break up. At least form the little you've shared.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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15-11-2010, 11:39 AM
 
RE: Theist girlfriend
Should be theist EX-girlfriend.
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15-11-2010, 02:22 PM
RE: Theist girlfriend
I understand what you're saying guys, but its difficult to just say "go away" to someone you love.
I've told her that I'm going to continue in an atheist community(online and elsewhere) no matter what she says, and things have cooled down(for now) we're back to normal I guess... It most certainly will be a problem in the future though.
Like I said before its hard to just leave someone you love. maybe this is just the sliver of optimism left in me but I'd like to think I can work through this.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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17-11-2010, 02:33 AM
RE: Theist girlfriend
Be yourself at all times. If she doesn't accept you as you are, then she is not good to be with. If she accepts you as you are and works with you to meet you on "common ground" and make a plan for a good future together, then I hope it works for you. If you avoid being yourelf now to please her, you will have to continue the role for the rest of your relationship to prevent strife. This is a common trap people fall into. What you advertize in courtship is what you should deliver in marriage or a long-term common-law relationship. That goes for her, too.
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