Then and now!!
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28-03-2016, 10:57 PM
Then and now!!
So I just got a Tad hurt in my heart. I was thinking about the Christian I was. When I first started my last church about 5 years ago.. I was a weird one. I walked straight in to the front pew. I put my bible, notebook, and Mountain Dew on the floor and sat there. The preacher always got tickled because I was all out in the middle of the floor eager to learn with papers scattered. He would tell my story a bit and referred to me as the "girl on fire" for God" I was never a back row Christian. I wanted to learn, I wanted to ask questions, I wanted to be in the action. My knowledge of the bible grew a lot over a two year period. I never missed a function.. I was a youth leader.. I got along with the deacons and we would all pick at each other. I would drive to piggly wiggly to get their donuts a whole city away from my church just because the deacons liked them. I spent Easter, thanksgiving, Christmas.. Every holiday at my preachers house. They were my friends. Our group was small and close. My preacher, his wife, his sister.. Her husband, 2 deacons, one jail minister, and my exs mom. Everything of course changed when I started dating an agnostic. This hurt me more than anything. I loved this life. And because I was unequally yolked I became different.
Now.. I have none of that fun stuff. I put myself in school but I'm not passionate about anything like I was my bible. It's a strange feeling like I'm living a completely different life.
In other news I told my mom the good news about my escape from religion. Her jaw dropped.. Not because of how I believe or not but because of what I mentioned above. I guided so many members of my family through religion. mother of course could care less. She smiled and said "whatever you want to believe"
She's scared anyway because she thinks she can't be saved for her addictions. Her face lightened up when I told her all the things I have learned from you guys and reading.
But now that things have changed it sure is a lonely life. But it sure does feel better.
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28-03-2016, 11:05 PM
RE: Then and now!!
I was a big believer as well--Jesus freak level. Most of my family and friends still believe. It can be hard sometimes because they believe and I don't. But I'd still rather live in reality.
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28-03-2016, 11:17 PM
RE: Then and now!!
Its not a "lonely life" in geneal, it is just so during that transition. You can engage in lots of activites again and "be on fire", just not related to religion.
Imagine all the interesting stuff you can do, with other people even, and it will not all be founded on a delusion.

You can engage in art, dance, paint, etc., you can engage in science, read and absorb everything man has figured out by now, do social stuff, help the poor, whatever you want. And nobody will be wathing you and giving grades, because the only person you are accountable to for how you live your life is........you.
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29-03-2016, 12:12 AM
RE: Then and now!!
At least you're not on fire for God like Giordano Bruno Angel

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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29-03-2016, 02:31 PM
RE: Then and now!!
(28-03-2016 10:57 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  So I just got a Tad hurt in my heart. I was thinking about the Christian I was. When I first started my last church about 5 years ago.. I was a weird one. I walked straight in to the front pew. I put my bible, notebook, and Mountain Dew on the floor and sat there. The preacher always got tickled because I was all out in the middle of the floor eager to learn with papers scattered. He would tell my story a bit and referred to me as the "girl on fire" for God" I was never a back row Christian. I wanted to learn, I wanted to ask questions, I wanted to be in the action. My knowledge of the bible grew a lot over a two year period. I never missed a function.. I was a youth leader.. I got along with the deacons and we would all pick at each other. I would drive to piggly wiggly to get their donuts a whole city away from my church just because the deacons liked them. I spent Easter, thanksgiving, Christmas.. Every holiday at my preachers house. They were my friends. Our group was small and close. My preacher, his wife, his sister.. Her husband, 2 deacons, one jail minister, and my exs mom. Everything of course changed when I started dating an agnostic. This hurt me more than anything. I loved this life. And because I was unequally yolked I became different.
Now.. I have none of that fun stuff. I put myself in school but I'm not passionate about anything like I was my bible. It's a strange feeling like I'm living a completely different life.
In other news I told my mom the good news about my escape from religion. Her jaw dropped.. Not because of how I believe or not but because of what I mentioned above. I guided so many members of my family through religion. mother of course could care less. She smiled and said "whatever you want to believe"
She's scared anyway because she thinks she can't be saved for her addictions. Her face lightened up when I told her all the things I have learned from you guys and reading.
But now that things have changed it sure is a lonely life. But it sure does feel better.

This happened to me when I quit smoking. All of a sudden, I had very little in common with all my smoker friends (which was most of my friends), and we drifted apart. But I needed to quit smoking more than I needed to keep those friends. And in time, I found new friends. So will you.
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29-03-2016, 02:36 PM
RE: Then and now!!
Lacking passion? Learn to play an instrument. If you already know one, learn another. If you already play multiple instruments, take up painting.
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29-03-2016, 02:42 PM
RE: Then and now!!
I tried to learn guitar. It was a struggle. I do paint and draw but that comes and goes.. Sometimes I can get a portrait out in 30 minutes the majority of the time it's lines.

It's hard to make new friends in a small town. Where I work everyone has little babies and no time to socialize. My class is full of kids straight out of high school I used to hunt but we lost our land. So there isn't a whole lot going on lol. I've tried having girls nights but everyone bails.
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29-03-2016, 03:01 PM
RE: Then and now!!
Patience hon patience. Things look dim for a while. I remember when I quit drinking and realized I didn't know anyone who didn't drink himself to sleep every night. But time takes care of these things.
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29-03-2016, 04:52 PM
RE: Then and now!!
(29-03-2016 02:36 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  Lacking passion? Learn to play an instrument. If you already know one, learn another. If you already play multiple instruments, take up painting.

It just happens today this guy I work with has asked me to draw characters for his book. I might have something to do after all
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29-03-2016, 05:43 PM
RE: Then and now!!
(28-03-2016 10:57 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  So I just got a Tad hurt in my heart. I was thinking about the Christian I was. When I first started my last church about 5 years ago.. I was a weird one. I walked straight in to the front pew. I put my bible, notebook, and Mountain Dew on the floor and sat there. The preacher always got tickled because I was all out in the middle of the floor eager to learn with papers scattered. He would tell my story a bit and referred to me as the "girl on fire" for God" I was never a back row Christian. I wanted to learn, I wanted to ask questions, I wanted to be in the action. My knowledge of the bible grew a lot over a two year period. I never missed a function.. I was a youth leader.. I got along with the deacons and we would all pick at each other. I would drive to piggly wiggly to get their donuts a whole city away from my church just because the deacons liked them. I spent Easter, thanksgiving, Christmas.. Every holiday at my preachers house. They were my friends. Our group was small and close. My preacher, his wife, his sister.. Her husband, 2 deacons, one jail minister, and my exs mom. Everything of course changed when I started dating an agnostic. This hurt me more than anything. I loved this life. And because I was unequally yolked I became different.
Now.. I have none of that fun stuff. I put myself in school but I'm not passionate about anything like I was my bible. It's a strange feeling like I'm living a completely different life.
In other news I told my mom the good news about my escape from religion. Her jaw dropped.. Not because of how I believe or not but because of what I mentioned above. I guided so many members of my family through religion. mother of course could care less. She smiled and said "whatever you want to believe"
She's scared anyway because she thinks she can't be saved for her addictions. Her face lightened up when I told her all the things I have learned from you guys and reading.
But now that things have changed it sure is a lonely life. But it sure does feel better.

Find other fun stuff. There's plenty of choices.

It seems before you had all your choices made for you. All the activities were provided for you.

You could, for example:
1. Take music lessons.
2. Join an amateur acting group.
3. Take dance classes.
4. Do yoga.
5. Get involved with atheism groups.
6. Attend the theatre.
7. Find ways to meet new people.

I could go on. The point is that now it is up to you. Whereas before it was up to others.

Good luck and have fun. Big Grin

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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