There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
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25-05-2017, 05:13 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
The eternal curse, "I hope you have children just like you when you grow up!" is one I heard often as a wee lad. Not because I was an insufferable little shit, but because I was always falling, breaking bones, getting lacerations, etc etc etc.

Well, I showed them: never had kids. The curse is broken.

There's quite a movement, though, of parents (usually, but not exclusively, mothers) who aren't shy about regretting their decision to have kids.

‘It's the breaking of a taboo’: the parents who regret having children

There's even been a best-selling book about the subject: No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children

Tl; dr: It's generally not the kids that's the issue, it's the fact that some women rankle at "traditional roles" and the burdens that motherhood places on their careers, relationships and bodies.
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25-05-2017, 05:24 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
(25-05-2017 05:13 AM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  Tl; dr: It's generally not the kids that's the issue, it's the fact that some women rankle at "traditional roles" and the burdens that motherhood places on their careers, relationships and bodies.

Kids are hard work, I'm the first to admit it, but it's a parents responsibility to attempt and make sure they don't turn out absolute dirt bags when they are older. As much flak as I give my old man for being crap at certain things, he taught me a lot about being respectful and how to act around others, which I am eternally grateful for.

It's a terrible thing, to have a child, and then take out your regret on them. I recall visiting my ex-girlfriend once, and her mum got a bit drunk and starts banging on with stuff like "I was successful until I had you, I should have never had kids..", even though she had 3 and my girlfriend was the oldest I think lol.

Kids drive you insane, and it's hard not to completely flip out at times [and that's coming from a person with Anxiety issues Laugh out load ] but it's worth it in the small moments where they learn something new/ask questions about stuff you thought was beyond their reasoning. I taught my daughter how to clap, as a toddler, and little things like that melt my icey atheist heart .

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25-05-2017, 05:37 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
(24-05-2017 08:39 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(24-05-2017 06:54 PM)ShadowProject Wrote:  [Image: large.jpg]

I don't know what it going on with my oldest, but MAN is she testing my patience. She had a rage-filled episode tonight complete with "I hate you!"

It's a damn good thing I love her with every fiber of my being.

I need a drink.

The Titanic

Just wait till she's a teenager, Shadow. Big Grin She'll have a boyfriend, drive a car and hate you....all at the same time. Fun time await you. Laugh out load

I'm living the dream, my teenager doesn't want to get a job as well as all of the things in your list.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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25-05-2017, 07:30 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
Thanks for the words of support and for sharing your stories. She is 9 and truly is a love, so sweet and kindhearted (normally!). But if this is an insight into teenage years....

is it too late to become a nun?

Wink

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

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25-05-2017, 07:55 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
(24-05-2017 08:39 PM)Fireball Wrote:  I think that girls are harder to raise, because of the hormones

Have you seen what testosterone does to men, their entire freaking lives?

At least women, no matter how "hormonal" (and don't even get me started on that PMS-turns-women-into-fire-breathing-dragons pile of steaming shit) they get, rarely feel the urge to hit people, do stupid things, strut their ridiculous stuff around and ride on willy-substitutes, begging the whole world to notice them in their masculine glory. Dodgy

Like I've said before: the sea of testosterone is a harsh mistress and I'd take *my* hormones every day of the week and twice on Sundays, thank you very muchly.

There was a fascinating discussion on reddit (came across it by chance, am not on reddit) about cliches and stereotypes about women and someone pointed out how women are supposedly more emotional than men but what the hell is anger if not an emotion (and one of the ugliest ones, too. Few things I dislike more than angry people)? And yet, a woman crying is overly emotional and hormonal and a man punching a wall and swearing... is not? Yeah, fucking, right. Dodgy

Was recently watching a documentary about hormones (really interesting) and found it fascinating and infuriating that while women were for a long time treated by removing their uterus for everything from migraines to the plague almost, when scientists learnt about hormones they tried using a "testicle extract for rejuvenating old men". 'cause of that's the source of all that's good and noble and strong in this world, not like those creepy things happening in wimmin's dirty bodies Facepalm

"In the middle of the flanks of women lies the womb, a female viscus, closely resembling an animal; for it is moved of itself hither and thither in the flanks, also upwards in a direct line to below the cartilage of the thorax, and also obliquely to the right or to the left, either to the liver or the spleen, and it likewise is subject to prolapsus downwards, and in a word, it is altogether erratic. It delights also in fragrant smells, and advances towards them; and it has an aversion to fetid smells, and flees from them; and, on the whole, the womb is like an animal within an animal."

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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25-05-2017, 08:06 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
(25-05-2017 07:30 AM)ShadowProject Wrote:  Thanks for the words of support and for sharing your stories. She is 9 and truly is a love, so sweet and kindhearted (normally!). But if this is an insight into teenage years....

is it too late to become a nun?

Wink

Age 9 in our house was much, much worse than the teenage years. It varies depending on the kid. But the first time you hear "I hate you!" delivered with passion and utter sincerity can be very distressing.

I may be the only parent in this thread who a couple of times responded with "Right back atcha" and, one time, "I hate you, too." That was partly because I've never cared for the "I love you but I don't like you right now" phrase that I've heard some parents use. And for what it's worth, this tactic actually stopped my son in his tracks because it was so unexpected. My crossing the expected line, verbally, helped him to see how he'd crossed the same line...it led to some good conversations.
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25-05-2017, 08:07 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
I've never understood that either, Vera.
I once received this ridiculous forwarded email from my stepdad:

[Image: 0f91af128f4e2318b97c44a2245c44c7.jpg]

I am around enough men to know this is complete BS. And it pushes a narrative that is harmful to both men and women. We're all human, we all have emotion. This is 100% NORMAL.

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

[Image: parodia-michal-aniol-flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg]
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25-05-2017, 08:16 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
There are two types of "men" I find.

Normal men, who are on the level like everybody else, man/women alike. And then there are giant assholes of which pretty much all male stereotypes are based around, which for some reason have also become the flag-ship of what apparently it's like to be guy.

99% of all men I know, have never been in a fight in their lives/never cheated on there other half/been arrested or any of the stuff that gets the "yeah, men right" attitude from some people. I agree you have feelings/thoughts/urges brought on by Testosterone, but it's not hard to say "not doing that" lol. I've come to think those who act impulsively from those primal urges are not fully evolved, or evolved from a lesser cave man type that somehow survived until today.

And it's the same for women. 99% of women I've ever met are just like everybody else, yet that 1% of crazy/hormonal/plate smashing women just ruin it for everybody else.

In both cases it's both bad for those behaving themselves, whilst giving others the idea of " This is what men/women do, so I can do [insert stereotype here] as well"

quick edit: @shadow, as a Male with Anxiety issues....I'm probably more the latter in that text picture Laugh out load

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25-05-2017, 08:22 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
(25-05-2017 08:07 AM)ShadowProject Wrote:  I've never understood that either, Vera.
I once received this ridiculous forwarded email from my stepdad:


I am around enough men to know this is complete BS. And it pushes a narrative that is harmful to both men and women. We're all human, we all have emotion. This is 100% NORMAL.

What a load of crap that meme is!

In the books I translate (written *by* women *for* women Facepalm ) I deal with idiotic stereotypes about women all the time (you know, all our lives revolve around are shoes, shopping and shagging the hunkiest piece of Neanderthal meat we can lay our hands on Facepalm ) but the ones related to emotions are much more harmful. Not only does this kind of lazy "thinking" normalise anger, like, *this* is what strong men do, something that's supposed to make a woman all tingly inside... until he beats *her* senseless in a fit of his oh-so-manly anger, but it does deny half the human population the right to what are universal human emotions, like feeling sad, weak, vulnerable.

Also, it kinda saddens me that we insist on looking for (and inventing) differences between ourselves, even when there are none. And the genders are the ultimate opportunity for the tribal us-and-them ugliness that we insist on dragging with ourselves even in this time and age, to come out and play. I honestly believe we are all the same and the differences are tiny at best. But what do I know...

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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25-05-2017, 08:58 AM
RE: There are days when being a parent just sucks hairy donkey balls.
Yes, exactly!

It makes me so sad to hear a dad say "man up!" or "suck it up!" to a young boy or teen. Jesus Christ, boys and men are allowed to be sad or cry or feel vulnerable.

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

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