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15-04-2014, 12:56 PM
These thoughts.
Sorry to come back for a little bit and do what you call whining, but I have to let this out somewhere. I have recently had thoughts of suicide again. I even had thoughts about who would care and how the suicide would be executed. The reason why I want to commit suicide is because well no reasonable talents. No body really cares about what I have to say and those that I talk to about this stuff won't listen to me even if I present evidence to the contrary. So the only talent I have is not wanted by anyone. No one, not a soul, not even somebody with questions, the internet exist, they don't need me to explain anything anyway.

And I think no one would care or if they did only for a little, and if I died there would be many benefits to it. My mom could spend less money on my paleo foods and not worry about food disappearing fast. My brother would just take my xbox live account and my games, and get his own room. My sister won't have to worry about me attacking boys she talks to, now that she knows that I don't like her hanging around certain males. My dad never cries at death, he sees it more as a gift. My other family members wouldn't care much either, I never really talk to them, that and I am the least remembered out of my siblings and I. My friends have a million others. The internet, well if I never told anybody would never notice that I ever died.

The suicide I thought of was using a high powered shotgun, and just blasting my self with it. I would do it in the middle of the woods, at night where no one could here, but I would leave a note if some body did come by. I would shot my self every where for how many times I have ruined the lives(or said I have ruined) and for the times I have annoyed everyone. Then go for the final shot in the head.

Sorry I had to comeback whining like an ass but I had to put this somewhere.Confused

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15-04-2014, 01:23 PM
RE: These thoughts.
(15-04-2014 12:56 PM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  Sorry to come back for a little bit and do what you call whining, but I have to let this out somewhere. I have recently had thoughts of suicide again. I even had thoughts about who would care and how the suicide would be executed. The reason why I want to commit suicide is because well no reasonable talents. No body really cares about what I have to say and those that I talk to about this stuff won't listen to me even if I present evidence to the contrary. So the only talent I have is not wanted by anyone. No one, not a soul, not even somebody with questions, the internet exist, they don't need me to explain anything anyway.

And I think no one would care or if they did only for a little, and if I died there would be many benefits to it. My mom could spend less money on my paleo foods and not worry about food disappearing fast. My brother would just take my xbox live account and my games, and get his own room. My sister won't have to worry about me attacking boys she talks to, now that she knows that I don't like her hanging around certain males. My dad never cries at death, he sees it more as a gift. My other family members wouldn't care much either, I never really talk to them, that and I am the least remembered out of my siblings and I. My friends have a million others. The internet, well if I never told anybody would never notice that I ever died.

The suicide I thought of was using a high powered shotgun, and just blasting my self with it. I would do it in the middle of the woods, at night where no one could here, but I would leave a note if some body did come by. I would shot my self every where for how many times I have ruined the lives(or said I have ruined) and for the times I have annoyed everyone. Then go for the final shot in the head.

Sorry I had to comeback whining like an ass but I had to put this somewhere.Confused



http://youtu.be/mNrXMOSkBas?t=1m37s


I'm pretty sure that if I, someone who has never even seen your face, would grieve over your death, the people who know you well and live with you would do much more than just shrug it off and keep living. I say what I have said before: the only real flaw that you seem to have is that you think you have flaws.

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15-04-2014, 01:31 PM
RE: These thoughts.
I had these parasitic thoughts a while back, went to the therapist but he was an asshole so I stopped. Then I met some guys who play board games and managed to get in a dungeon crawler type of game party.

Magically the thoughts stopped, the few times they tried to pop up again I just laughed them off (inside, not out loud, I'm not that crazy...yet). I feel more motivated, so I'm trying to invest energy into other things I like to do that I couldn't find the will to do before (basically trying not to be dependant on only one thing to feel good).

So that's my 2 cents, find something that makes you feel good, specially social interaction (it's amazing how much we tend to underestimate its impact on us). Then use those good feelings to improve the rest of your life. Do this even to the expense of other "more important/serious" matters, as nothing is more important than living your life, so maybe a game can be more important than work Smile

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15-04-2014, 01:53 PM
RE: These thoughts.
(15-04-2014 01:23 PM)Teen-skeptic-go! Wrote:  
(15-04-2014 12:56 PM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  Sorry to come back for a little bit and do what you call whining, but I have to let this out somewhere. I have recently had thoughts of suicide again. I even had thoughts about who would care and how the suicide would be executed. The reason why I want to commit suicide is because well no reasonable talents. No body really cares about what I have to say and those that I talk to about this stuff won't listen to me even if I present evidence to the contrary. So the only talent I have is not wanted by anyone. No one, not a soul, not even somebody with questions, the internet exist, they don't need me to explain anything anyway.

And I think no one would care or if they did only for a little, and if I died there would be many benefits to it. My mom could spend less money on my paleo foods and not worry about food disappearing fast. My brother would just take my xbox live account and my games, and get his own room. My sister won't have to worry about me attacking boys she talks to, now that she knows that I don't like her hanging around certain males. My dad never cries at death, he sees it more as a gift. My other family members wouldn't care much either, I never really talk to them, that and I am the least remembered out of my siblings and I. My friends have a million others. The internet, well if I never told anybody would never notice that I ever died.

The suicide I thought of was using a high powered shotgun, and just blasting my self with it. I would do it in the middle of the woods, at night where no one could here, but I would leave a note if some body did come by. I would shot my self every where for how many times I have ruined the lives(or said I have ruined) and for the times I have annoyed everyone. Then go for the final shot in the head.

Sorry I had to comeback whining like an ass but I had to put this somewhere.Confused



http://youtu.be/mNrXMOSkBas?t=1m37s


I'm pretty sure that if I, someone who has never even seen your face, would grieve over your death, the people who know you well and live with you would do much more than just shrug it off and keep living. I say what I have said before: the only real flaw that you seem to have is that you think you have flaws.

I think you are a better friend than many of the kids I talk to in real life. Strange when internet people can beat real life people.

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15-04-2014, 01:53 PM
RE: These thoughts.
(15-04-2014 01:31 PM)nach_in Wrote:  I had these parasitic thoughts a while back, went to the therapist but he was an asshole so I stopped. Then I met some guys who play board games and managed to get in a dungeon crawler type of game party.

Magically the thoughts stopped, the few times they tried to pop up again I just laughed them off (inside, not out loud, I'm not that crazy...yet). I feel more motivated, so I'm trying to invest energy into other things I like to do that I couldn't find the will to do before (basically trying not to be dependant on only one thing to feel good).

So that's my 2 cents, find something that makes you feel good, specially social interaction (it's amazing how much we tend to underestimate its impact on us). Then use those good feelings to improve the rest of your life. Do this even to the expense of other "more important/serious" matters, as nothing is more important than living your life, so maybe a game can be more important than work Smile

I wish, everyone that plays xbox tends to be a douche.

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15-04-2014, 01:57 PM
RE: These thoughts.
I have been where you are, its not easy but you can beat it.

Get out, talk to people, come on here, do something you enjoy doing. Honestly isolating yourself makes it worse, and I'll damn well miss you too if you died.

The requirement of evidence to back your claim does not disappear because it hurts your feelings, reality does not care about your feefees.
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15-04-2014, 02:00 PM
RE: These thoughts.
(15-04-2014 01:57 PM)Blackhand293 Wrote:  I have been where you are, its not easy but you can beat it.

Get out, talk to people, come on here, do something you enjoy doing. Honestly isolating yourself makes it worse, and I'll damn well miss you too if you died.

It is not so much a social problem, just an importance problem. If am not needed than why am I taking food and important things from people that will be important? But thanks blackhand.

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15-04-2014, 02:04 PM
RE: These thoughts.
(15-04-2014 02:00 PM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  
(15-04-2014 01:57 PM)Blackhand293 Wrote:  I have been where you are, its not easy but you can beat it.

Get out, talk to people, come on here, do something you enjoy doing. Honestly isolating yourself makes it worse, and I'll damn well miss you too if you died.

It is not so much a social problem, just an importance problem. If am not needed than why am I taking food and important things from people that will be important? But thanks blackhand.

You are important, may not always feel like you are, but we all get days like that. You have a bright future ahead of you, your crazy smart and you love learning. If everyone had the joy of learning you seem to have we would all be sailing the interstellar winds now.

Hug

The requirement of evidence to back your claim does not disappear because it hurts your feelings, reality does not care about your feefees.
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15-04-2014, 02:11 PM
RE: These thoughts.
(15-04-2014 02:04 PM)Blackhand293 Wrote:  
(15-04-2014 02:00 PM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  It is not so much a social problem, just an importance problem. If am not needed than why am I taking food and important things from people that will be important? But thanks blackhand.

You are important, may not always feel like you are, but we all get days like that. You have a bright future ahead of you, your crazy smart and you love learning. If everyone had the joy of learning you seem to have we would all be sailing the interstellar winds now.

Hug

Hug Thanks brah, at least it helps. Though I would wish people would notice in real life.

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15-04-2014, 02:23 PM
RE: These thoughts.
I can't begin to understand what having such dark thoughts is like. But I know you'd be missed here as the above posts prove. You are young and still finding out who you are and where life will take you so don't throw in the towel before you've started.

Besides you have a passion for animals and as the owner of three rescue dogs and one rescue cat trust me when I say the world is a better place with you in it. Hang around and see where that passion can take you.

"The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species." - Christopher Hitchens

"Remember kids, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing. Have a great day!" - Ricky Gervais
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