Things Not To Say During Sex
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16-02-2017, 11:38 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
Women calling their boyfriends "daddy." *shudders*
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16-02-2017, 11:39 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
You're so much better than my horse.
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16-02-2017, 11:43 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
Can I stick a gerbil in your ass ?
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16-02-2017, 11:45 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
Yeah do me daddy Tongue
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16-02-2017, 12:04 PM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
(15-02-2017 09:15 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Reading Cosmo again.

^^^ I think that's on the top ten list.

Also:

"I don't think it's contagious."

"Squeal like a piggy!"

"Come Reek." (or any Ramsay Bolton quote)

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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17-02-2017, 09:04 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
"Awwww. It's so cute.


(16-02-2017 09:43 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I've had my kids walk in when they were 1 and 2 years old. Kinda puts a stop to things....... IMMEDIATELY!

Oh man, my wife and I were going at it a few weeks ago at about 2 am. Things were going great until we heard our 9 YO say, "what is the bed making all that noise?" Turns out he was standing in the doorway. We simultaneously said that we were just rolling over. GO BACK TO BED!!! The ONE damn time we didn't close the door!!!!

(16-02-2017 11:43 AM)adey67 Wrote:  Can I stick a gerbil in your ass ?

Why yes. Yes you can....
[Image: MV5BMTI2NDQ2OTY4M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNTYy...17_AL_.jpg]

(15-02-2017 10:46 PM)jennybee Wrote:  "I just got my period."

Actually, this is not so bad. You have just made a case to lose the rubber.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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17-02-2017, 09:26 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
(17-02-2017 09:04 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(16-02-2017 09:43 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I've had my kids walk in when they were 1 and 2 years old. Kinda puts a stop to things....... IMMEDIATELY!

Oh man, my wife and I were going at it a few weeks ago at about 2 am. Things were going great until we heard our 9 YO say, "what is the bed making all that noise?" Turns out he was standing in the doorway. We simultaneously said that we were just rolling over. GO BACK TO BED!!! The ONE damn time we didn't close the door!!!!
...

If I may recommend a solution to this... lubricant.

Not for the squeaky bed. Apply liberally to the door handle. Then the little gits won't be able to grip the knob ... so to speak.

[Image: leadimage.jpg]

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17-02-2017, 09:44 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
A lady in Miami told me that the guy she was with last night was moaning his brother's name.
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17-02-2017, 11:03 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
(17-02-2017 09:26 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(17-02-2017 09:04 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Oh man, my wife and I were going at it a few weeks ago at about 2 am. Things were going great until we heard our 9 YO say, "what is the bed making all that noise?" Turns out he was standing in the doorway. We simultaneously said that we were just rolling over. GO BACK TO BED!!! The ONE damn time we didn't close the door!!!!
...

If I may recommend a solution to this... lubricant.

Not for the squeaky bed. Apply liberally to the door handle. Then the little gits won't be able to grip the knob ... so to speak.

[Image: leadimage.jpg]

Usually we close and lock the door. It was the heat of the moment (I can't remember who started it) and it was 2 am. Why interrupt a good time to close the door in the off chance your kid needs to pee in the middle of the night?

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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17-02-2017, 11:33 AM
RE: Things Not To Say During Sex
(17-02-2017 09:44 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  A lady in Miami told me that the guy she was with last night was moaning his brother's name.

Eeeww just Ewwwww already. Rainbow Vomit
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