Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
29-03-2015, 01:20 PM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
Okay, here's one: If everything in the Bible were true, whales would have no digestive juices in their stomachs and would not be able to digest anything, and they'd all have starved as soon as they were created. Because if whales could digest food, Jonah would have come out the other end as poo, rather than being vomited up alive after three whole days in the belly of the whale.

Addendum: If the whales were created with enough fat it might have taken them a year or two to starve to death. They still would not have lived long enough for one to swallow Jonah.

"El mar se mide por olas,
el cielo por alas,
nosotros por lágrimas."
-- Jaime Sabines
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
30-03-2015, 12:40 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
What about the verse in Luke that says quite explicitly that if you pray for it, it shall be given to you. If it were really that simple, every Christian would have perfect lives. They would never be sick—hospitals wouldn't exist. They would always have the perfect, high-paying job. Every marriage would be happy ever after; there would be no divorce. Literally, everything they pray for would come to fruition… …like ending abortion in the Theocratic States of America.

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRcmPL4codsbtiJhpFav3r...-w_49ttW6a]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Jeffasaurus's post
30-03-2015, 01:01 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
(29-03-2015 01:20 PM)daniel1948 Wrote:  Okay, here's one: If everything in the Bible were true, whales would have no digestive juices in their stomachs and would not be able to digest anything, and they'd all have starved as soon as they were created. Because if whales could digest food, Jonah would have come out the other end as poo, rather than being vomited up alive after three whole days in the belly of the whale.

Addendum: If the whales were created with enough fat it might have taken them a year or two to starve to death. They still would not have lived long enough for one to swallow Jonah.

Angry Jonah was in the belly of a really big fish.


Tongue

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Nurse's post
30-03-2015, 01:04 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
(30-03-2015 12:40 AM)Jeffasaurus Wrote:  What about the verse in Luke that says quite explicitly that if you pray for it, it shall be given to you.

God knows what's best for you, so sometimes he answers prayers in ways you don't expect. Like, you pray for more money. But God *knows* if you have more money you'll become arrogant and proud, and a sinner, so sure, he will answer your prayer, but maybe not when you're expecting it. He will wait until you're ready to handle the responsibility of the extra money - the best way to show that you're ready for that money is to donate as much as possible of what little you have to the Church, after all, to him who gives much, much will be given, much bullshit indeed Yes

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes morondog's post
30-03-2015, 02:01 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
Heaven...

Ecclesiastes 9:5, KJV
For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.

So it looks like the bible agrees with Girly:
The Concept of a Postmortem Preservation of Identity is Inconceivable.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DLJ's post
30-03-2015, 02:11 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
(30-03-2015 02:01 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Heaven...

Ecclesiastes 9:5, KJV
For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.

So it looks like the bible agrees with Girly:
The Concept of a Postmortem Preservation of Identity is Inconceivable.

I'm convinced Ecclesiastes was written by someone who was whatever was the closest thing to an atheist back then. The BEST book of the bible by a long shot, and a pretty damn good read in any age provided you ignore the God shit.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like morondog's post
30-03-2015, 04:48 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
(28-03-2015 02:08 PM)dimaniac Wrote:  
(28-03-2015 02:01 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Without God the universe is unstable?
Even "nothing is unstable" why should universe be stable?
The universe we live in IS stable......


The universe YOU live in --- well, maybe not so much......

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
30-03-2015, 08:15 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
(28-03-2015 01:11 PM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  
(28-03-2015 01:05 PM)dimaniac Wrote:  Universe expanded heaven is 13.8 billion light years away now
A joke....right?

One doesn't get a -27 rep without being a joke.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like RobbyPants's post
30-03-2015, 08:23 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
If heaven is subject to the expansion of the Universe, that means it's subject to the laws of physics. How then can "God" possibly influence anything on Earth, let alone hear prayers over that distance?

Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come and save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris. Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
30-03-2015, 09:00 AM
RE: Things in reality that can't be true if the Bible is correct.
(30-03-2015 08:23 AM)Stimbo Wrote:  If heaven is subject to the expansion of the Universe, that means it's subject to the laws of physics. How then can "God" possibly influence anything on Earth, let alone hear prayers over that distance?

Heaven fucked off *thataway* and God stayed behind to make sure we weren't sticking it in the wrong hole?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes morondog's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: