Things that should not be said in your presence
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19-08-2015, 03:55 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
''Bless your heart'' (said with annoying southern accent)

''I hate it when women...'' (said by a new guy I might be dating, who lumps all women together...in my mind, I'm already saying NEXT!)

''If we ever have sex, I want you to....'' (said by a new guy, etc...)

''You're gonna fall in love with me...'' (Yea, so I date assholes, as you've figured out if you're still reading...) Tongue

''You weren't a real Christian,'' said by ex Christian friends when I left the faith.

Any racist comments said by anyone will upset me.

''So, when are you gonna cook for me?'' (this is probably the worst thing a new guy I'm dating can say to me...but in my mind I'm saying NEXT!)

I have a lot more...but I'll stop there. Laugh out load

Be true to yourself. Heart
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19-08-2015, 06:09 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
Deidre - Date a Cajun. Almost all men in our culture cook from the age we're tall enough to reach over the stovetop. Before that, we're helping to clean and later to cut the veggies and get ingredients out of the fridge/pantry. Most of our women cook, too, but no one expects them to cook automatically because they're female. It wasn't 'till I moved away from Louisiana as an adult that I encountered "normal" American culture, in this regard, and it shocks me.

And yeah, "bless your heart" is Southern for "I think you have mental deficiencies". Ironically, it's usually said by the dimmer bulbs. As I wrote before, they also tend to say "I'll pray for you" as a Christian way to say, "Go fuck yourself."

When I started hanging out with a humanist group at the age of 25, which was composed of a high percentage of college-aged 20-ish kids, many of whom were taking "Women's Studies" courses and liked to parrot the stuff their professors were feeding them at gatherings we held in my home, they would often sling "I hate that men do _____" at me (in a "how do you answer that, huh? MAN!" kind of way), to which I would casually point out that it'd be equally unacceptable to lump women together, like that, and they shouldn't do it to men, either. Most got the point, but some of them reeeeally disliked me for that approach.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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19-08-2015, 06:12 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
(19-08-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  ''Bless your heart'' (said with annoying southern accent)

''I hate it when women...'' (said by a new guy I might be dating, who lumps all women together...in my mind, I'm already saying NEXT!)

''If we ever have sex, I want you to....'' (said by a new guy, etc...)

''You're gonna fall in love with me...'' (Yea, so I date assholes, as you've figured out if you're still reading...) Tongue

''You weren't a real Christian,'' said by ex Christian friends when I left the faith.

Any racist comments said by anyone will upset me.

''So, when are you gonna cook for me?'' (this is probably the worst thing a new guy I'm dating can say to me...but in my mind I'm saying NEXT!)

I have a lot more...but I'll stop there. Laugh out load

I have had guys ask me when I am going to cook for them. When I finally do--they wish they never asked me. I'm am a horrendous cook. So far, though, no one has wound up in the ER Big Grin

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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19-08-2015, 06:39 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
Is that why you're a veggie-saurus, Jennybee? So you're less likely to kill a love-interest by mis-cooking vegetables than if you let yourself handle meat? Tongue

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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19-08-2015, 06:40 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
(19-08-2015 06:09 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Deidre - Date a Cajun. Almost all men in our culture cook from the age we're tall enough to reach over the stovetop. Before that, we're helping to clean and later to cut the veggies and get ingredients out of the fridge/pantry. Most of our women cook, too, but no one expects them to cook automatically because they're female. It wasn't 'till I moved away from Louisiana as an adult that I encountered "normal" American culture, in this regard, and it shocks me.

And yeah, "bless your heart" is Southern for "I think you have mental deficiencies". Ironically, it's usually said by the dimmer bulbs. As I wrote before, they also tend to say "I'll pray for you" as a Christian way to say, "Go fuck yourself."

When I started hanging out with a humanist group at the age of 25, which was composed of a high percentage of college-aged 20-ish kids, many of whom were taking "Women's Studies" courses and liked to parrot the stuff their professors were feeding them at gatherings we held in my home, they would often sling "I hate that men do _____" at me (in a "how do you answer that, huh? MAN!" kind of way), to which I would casually point out that it'd be equally unacceptable to lump women together, like that, and they shouldn't do it to men, either. Most got the point, but some of them reeeeally disliked me for that approach.
Date a Cajun, hmmm? Consider I've never dated a Cajun. I might have to find one. lol

I like your post. You describe things well. Big Grin And yes, women say stupid nonsense too...I've never honestly lumped men together saying 'I hate it when men...' To me also, it not only sounds sexist, but sounds like the person wishes to appear like they've had allllll these men/women in their lives, and you should compete to be different than them all.

They can go ............Censored

(19-08-2015 06:12 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(19-08-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  ''Bless your heart'' (said with annoying southern accent)

''I hate it when women...'' (said by a new guy I might be dating, who lumps all women together...in my mind, I'm already saying NEXT!)

''If we ever have sex, I want you to....'' (said by a new guy, etc...)

''You're gonna fall in love with me...'' (Yea, so I date assholes, as you've figured out if you're still reading...) Tongue

''You weren't a real Christian,'' said by ex Christian friends when I left the faith.

Any racist comments said by anyone will upset me.

''So, when are you gonna cook for me?'' (this is probably the worst thing a new guy I'm dating can say to me...but in my mind I'm saying NEXT!)

I have a lot more...but I'll stop there. Laugh out load

I have had guys ask me when I am going to cook for them. When I finally do--they wish they never asked me. I'm am a horrendous cook. So far, though, no one has wound up in the ER Big Grin

lol you showed them Big Grin

i'm a pretty decent cook (certain dishes, i should say, but i don't like cooking really), but what bugs me about comments like those (when are you cooking for me, what are you making me for dinner tonight, etc) is it sounds like the dude wants to be taken care of like his mother took care of him.

NOOOOO thanks. Laugh out load

Be true to yourself. Heart
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19-08-2015, 06:47 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
(19-08-2015 06:39 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Is that why you're a veggie-saurus, Jennybee? So you're less likely to kill a love-interest by mis-cooking vegetables than if you let yourself handle meat? Tongue

I can kill them equally with vegetables Big Grin

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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19-08-2015, 06:48 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
(19-08-2015 06:40 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(19-08-2015 06:09 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Deidre - Date a Cajun. Almost all men in our culture cook from the age we're tall enough to reach over the stovetop. Before that, we're helping to clean and later to cut the veggies and get ingredients out of the fridge/pantry. Most of our women cook, too, but no one expects them to cook automatically because they're female. It wasn't 'till I moved away from Louisiana as an adult that I encountered "normal" American culture, in this regard, and it shocks me.

And yeah, "bless your heart" is Southern for "I think you have mental deficiencies". Ironically, it's usually said by the dimmer bulbs. As I wrote before, they also tend to say "I'll pray for you" as a Christian way to say, "Go fuck yourself."

When I started hanging out with a humanist group at the age of 25, which was composed of a high percentage of college-aged 20-ish kids, many of whom were taking "Women's Studies" courses and liked to parrot the stuff their professors were feeding them at gatherings we held in my home, they would often sling "I hate that men do _____" at me (in a "how do you answer that, huh? MAN!" kind of way), to which I would casually point out that it'd be equally unacceptable to lump women together, like that, and they shouldn't do it to men, either. Most got the point, but some of them reeeeally disliked me for that approach.
Date a Cajun, hmmm? Consider I've never dated a Cajun. I might have to find one. lol

I like your post. You describe things well. Big Grin And yes, women say stupid nonsense too...I've never honestly lumped men together saying 'I hate it when men...' To me also, it not only sounds sexist, but sounds like the person wishes to appear like they've had allllll these men/women in their lives, and you should compete to be different than them all.

They can go ............Censored

(19-08-2015 06:12 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I have had guys ask me when I am going to cook for them. When I finally do--they wish they never asked me. I'm am a horrendous cook. So far, though, no one has wound up in the ER Big Grin

lol you showed them Big Grin

i'm a pretty decent cook (certain dishes, i should say, but i don't like cooking really), but what bugs me about comments like those (when are you cooking for me, what are you making me for dinner tonight, etc) is it sounds like the dude wants to be taken care of like his mother took care of him.

NOOOOO thanks. Laugh out load

Yeah, I go out to dinner a lot Tongue

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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19-08-2015, 08:24 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
(19-08-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  ''So, when are you gonna cook for me?'' (this is probably the worst thing a new guy I'm dating can say to me...but in my mind I'm saying NEXT!)

lol, there's a mama's boy.
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19-08-2015, 08:42 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
(19-08-2015 08:24 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(19-08-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  ''So, when are you gonna cook for me?'' (this is probably the worst thing a new guy I'm dating can say to me...but in my mind I'm saying NEXT!)

lol, there's a mama's boy.

yep, and i couldn't run away fast enough from that one! Laugh out load

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19-08-2015, 09:01 PM
RE: Things that should not be said in your presence
For me, cooking is one of my ways to impress.
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