Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
14-10-2012, 01:13 AM (This post was last modified: 14-10-2012 01:19 AM by Buddy Christ.)
Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
I'm trying to think of all the inventions that had to blow donkey nuts to be the first guinea pig to test out. So far, this is all I've got.

An EMP (designed to destroy/disable electronics through a surge of electromagnetic radiation... human bodies run mostly on electronic impulses...)

Parachute (duh)

Pilot Ejection Seat (same idea, only sitting in a chair at high speeds)

Any new hallucinogenic drug (you gotta start to panic on your 8th hour of tripping balls)

The Flamethrower (so I just strap this highly flammable liquid to my back and shoot a 15 foot flame through a tube? Ok! What's that? You want me to do it while people are shooting at me? Sure!)

Electric Chair (I'm sure he didn't volunteer to test it out, but still. You want to put a metal bowl on my head and basically shoot me with lightning until I'm dead? Can we please just use a gun?)



What else?

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 01:16 AM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
The first space colonists who were too far to ever come back.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist and Levitating Yogi, CAAT-LY.
Living daily with the high tragedy of being #2 on Laramie Hirsch's ignore list.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 01:17 AM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
(14-10-2012 01:16 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  The first space colonists who were too far to ever come back.

Pff. That wouldn't suck. That would rule!


Bulletproof Vest

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Erxomai's post
14-10-2012, 01:20 AM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
(14-10-2012 01:16 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  The first space colonists who were too far to ever come back.

Is it bad that when I imagined myself in that same scenario, the first thing that came to mind was "let the orgy begin"? No rules, no worries, just you and a bunch of dudes and hopefully at least one chick to let it all hang out.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 02:46 AM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
snake antivenom
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 02:54 AM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
(14-10-2012 01:20 AM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  Is it bad ... ?

Yes.
It is.
Very, very bad!

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 03:05 AM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
A lot of those things don't need a human to test.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 12:29 PM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
(14-10-2012 03:05 AM)Magoo Wrote:  A lot of those things don't need a human to test.

Yes but there still had to be a first human to try it. After strapping enough monkeys or rocks or pelicans to your device, someone still has to give it a go before marketing it to people. Maybe your first customer unwittingly became the first human experiment.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 12:41 PM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
Plane
Parachute
Rocket Launcher
Grenade
Pepper Spray
Catheder
Enema (by van halen)
Anal lube/ beads/ dildos
Sonic Grenade
Those glidey things, it's like a kite but you're in it.
Or that squirel suit.
Bungie Jumping.
Those old school rescue trampolines.
Adult Diapers.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2012, 12:47 PM
RE: Things that would have sucked to be the first to test out
(14-10-2012 12:41 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Anal lube/ beads/ dildos

Doubt there was really a 'first' with these. I mean, I expect as long as humans have been evolving they've been shoving stuff up their butts. Ergo, there'd always be a slightly less evolved monkey cousin who'd dunnit first right? Or at least, whoever did the product testing would have a good idea of what it'd feel like...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: