"This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
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07-05-2013, 03:53 PM (This post was last modified: 07-05-2013 05:25 PM by LadyJane.)
"This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
In local news, 19 year old mother's 18 month old child falls out moving car

I had to check out this article. It happened in Michigan and my local news posted it in my Facebook feed. I read it, made my own opinion of said incident. I then went to read the comments. Oh boy! People are rude and quick to judge.

Okay. I'm not saying that I'm not suspicious of the circumstances surrounding this accident, but that is not why I'm upset. (The boy did survive, sustaining only minor injuries.) I'm upset because people are saying stuff like, "This is what happens when kids have kids." And they are saying, "She's too young to be a mom!"

They don't know this woman. They weren't there. They don't know how protective she is of her children or how much she adores them. These people want to throw judgment because a child was injured and possibly endangered more than once due to POSSIBLE neglect. I get angry when I read about babies getting injured as a result of neglect and especially child abuse. I immediately want to ask questions as to why the parent could "let it happen." But I don't automatically assume this only is a result of a young adult having a child.

I know I'm somewhat biased in this situation; I was a "teen mom." I got pregnant only weeks after turning 17. I can't speak for all teenage mothers-to-be, but I know that learning I was pregnant changed me for the better. I realized that all the stuff I thought was "super cool" and "fun" was second (if that) to my baby. I grew up in a matter of months and in the six years that I've been a mother, I am still learning.

But for people to judge a mother all based on her age is ridiculous. If she were 16 would she have been judged even more harshly? What if she was a new mother, at the age of thirty? Would these people even mention age? My point is that this very well could have happened to anyone. If a woman (or girl) is willing to grow up and sacrifice their own future and original goals in order to raise that sweet baby, then don't fucking say they are "just babies with babies and they don't DESERVE those kids."

Again, I'm not trying to justify this woman's parenting, nor am I trying to minimize this completely avoidable incident. I'm simply disgusted that people would judge someone based on their age.

*I don't know if you guys can read the comments in the link. I hope you can. I'm upset.

Any thoughts? Opinions? Anecdotes? Complaints?

If people disagree with me, I fully embrace that. I respect that.

[End rant]

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-05-2013, 04:34 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
There is a difference between age and maturity, Peanut. I know plenty of ding bats in their 30's that are not prepared to raise a kid and some (a very few) in their late teens that can pull it off. As to kids raising kids I tend to think of that as anyone under the age of 17 having a child.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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07-05-2013, 04:46 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
(07-05-2013 04:34 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  There is a difference between age and maturity, Peanut. I know plenty of ding bats in their 30's that are not prepared to raise a kid and some (a very few) in their late teens that can pull it off. As to kids raising kids I tend to think of that as anyone under the age of 17 having a child.

If the child is 18 months old, that would mean she was somewhere near the age of 17 when she gave birth. That's probably why they kept calling her a "child."

I mentioned that if someone was 30 and the same thing happened to them; it doesn't mean THEY are any more responsible. Age shouldn't be an issue.

I don't think that children SHOULD be having children. (Anyone under the age of 18.) They aren't even allowed to smoke or vote. I know it sounds contradictory, because I was under 18 when I got preggers, but that doesn't mean I'd encourage teens to have sex and then raise their babies. I would like it to be avoided with practicing safe sex. If they choose to keep their baby and they have the means to support that child and they are mentally competent and possess the ability to make sacrifices, THEN I'd encourage them.

Whoops. I got slightly off topic. I'm just pissed because we can't assume a 19 year old is any less experienced than a 30 year old or vice versa.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-05-2013, 05:31 PM (This post was last modified: 07-05-2013 05:43 PM by TheGulegon.)
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
Peanut, alas, not all people under 18 are as awesome as you were Big Grin to begin with, and DON'T grow up as fast as you did when they have a baby. I feel someone who has yet to live a full 2 decades in this world might not have had enough time to become fully emotionally mature. I don't know about you, but I knew some teens that I would never want to see have babies, for the babies sake, when I MYSELF, was a teenager, ya know. Not only that, but an 18 year old is much less likely than a 22 year old college grad, to already have the means to provide for the baby without help. I'm not judging (cause you're too cute Wink Tongue), it'd just be a lot easier on everybody, including the baby, if the parent was a little older when it happens. All that being said, I know you love your son, and I think you're awesome for putting him before anything else Thumbsup But a younger person of less quality stuff than you got, might let grandma breastfeed it, while she goes and hangs out at her friends more than she hangs out with her baby, like nothing happened. Older woman who'd already had all the fun she needs might be less likely to feel the need to participate in all the activities she missed out on in her youth. That's just how I see it. Oh...& did I mention you're awesome Big Grin

P.S. I feel Sex Education needs to be taught, and contraception needs to be handed out at every High School in America. Everyone on Earth wants to have sex when they hit a certain age; it's one of the most powerful drives we have. Repressing the urge = Catholic priests, making it safe = healthier, and happier young people. I might get yelled at for that Undecided

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07-05-2013, 06:48 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
(07-05-2013 05:31 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Peanut, alas, not all people under 18 are as awesome as you were Big Grin to begin with, and DON'T grow up as fast as you did when they have a baby. I feel someone who has yet to live a full 2 decades in this world might not have had enough time to become fully emotionally mature. I don't know about you, but I knew some teens that I would never want to see have babies, for the babies sake, when I MYSELF, was a teenager, ya know. Not only that, but an 18 year old is much less likely than a 22 year old college grad, to already have the means to provide for the baby without help. I'm not judging (cause you're too cute Wink Tongue), it'd just be a lot easier on everybody, including the baby, if the parent was a little older when it happens. All that being said, I know you love your son, and I think you're awesome for putting him before anything else Thumbsup But a younger person of less quality stuff than you got, might let grandma breastfeed it, while she goes and hangs out at her friends more than she hangs out with her baby, like nothing happened. Older woman who'd already had all the fun she needs might be less likely to feel the need to participate in all the activities she missed out on in her youth. That's just how I see it. Oh...& did I mention you're awesome Big Grin

P.S. I feel Sex Education needs to be taught, and contraception needs to be handed out at every High School in America. Everyone on Earth wants to have sex when they hit a certain age; it's one of the most powerful drives we have. Repressing the urge = Catholic priests, making it safe = healthier, and happier young people. I might get yelled at for that Undecided
Comprehensive sex education DOES need to be utilized in every school. I wrote a proposal in one of my business classes when I was 18. Smartass I got an A.

I guess I wrote this thread because I think each case should be looked at from a case-by-case basis. We can't just assume she is an unfit mother and refer to her young age as the reason.

Thank you, Gulegon. I AM awesome Big Grin

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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07-05-2013, 06:53 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
Agreed. All of it! Thumbsup

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07-05-2013, 07:42 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
In addition to sex education, we need to be more open about teachings kids how abortion is supposed to work. You can't just toss it out a moving vehicle.

Just sayin'. Drinking Beverage














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09-05-2013, 03:25 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
You are awesome, Peanut.

I think people have a natural tendency to have all sorts of -isms, and in this case, it's ageism. People like to look down on people, rather than withholding judgment until they know all the facts and circumstances.

My best friend got pregnant at 15, still graduated high school, got a good job, is an awesome mom. But on the other hand, a lot of teen mothers aren't. You can't be sure unless you know the person, but TV shows like that crap on MTV about teen mothers go a long way to perpetuate the stereotype that all young people with children are negligent crackheads without two brain cells to rub together.
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11-05-2013, 08:26 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
My sister was 17 years old when she had my first niece. She is an amazing, strong, intelligent and protective mother.
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11-05-2013, 08:48 PM
RE: "This is What we Get When we Let Kids Have Kids."
Well, the comments about age are indeed bigoted and ignorant but they're only opinions and opinions are relatively harmless unless acted upon.

The most disturbing thing to me were the comments where people bragged about hitting their toddlers. One, because it is atrocious behavior and two because it is hypocrisy in action.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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