This is ridiculous
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05-09-2011, 08:13 AM (This post was last modified: 05-09-2011 08:17 AM by latvianxave8.)
This is ridiculous
Before I start my rant, let me ask:

Do you think that the bathroom is a "sacred" place?
Rant: Whenever I go to the bathroom in my house, I can never just go to the bathroom. Someone is always bugging me.

One time I was jacking off in there and my uncle yells at me to hurry up (he doesn't now I am jacking off, for context). It's like, what the hell? I was already going as fast I could (even if I was taking a dump or pissing this would still be the case)

Also my uncle informs me that when I am in the shower, he feels no need to knock before entering to go the bathroom, and, quote, "will just walk in if I have to go"

This morning I am in the bathroom rubbing one out again, only for my grandma to walk in on me because my cousin told her that no one was in the bathroom (EVEN THOUGH THE FUCKING LIGHT WAS ON AND THE FAN WAS RUNNING)

I mean,

what

the

fuck

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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05-09-2011, 08:25 AM
RE: This is ridiculous
dont you have locks lol

"In real life , as opposed to that happy, clappy, rainbow fantasy world that you see fit to fly through on your winged unicorn of delusion" - Mitchell and Webb
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05-09-2011, 08:26 AM
RE: This is ridiculous
(05-09-2011 08:25 AM)James The Brit Wrote:  dont you have locks lol

No; we don't. I am about to just up and buy out with my own money so I can orgasm in peace.

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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05-09-2011, 10:23 AM
RE: This is ridiculous
*Walks away slowly from the thread and acts like he never read it

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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05-09-2011, 12:07 PM
RE: This is ridiculous
Hey latvianxave8,
What body-part works the hardest when your masturbating?
.
..
...
Your ears....
*Someone's there?*

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Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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05-09-2011, 12:25 PM
RE: This is ridiculous
I offer a few soloutions.

1: Stick up a sign that says "masturbating in progress"
2: Masturbate with your back resting against the door (early warning system)
3: When masturbating...make elaborate moans of ecstasy (to make others aware your in there)
4: Masturbate when nobody is in.
5: Think "fuck it" and continue regardless if somebody enters......why should you feel embaressed after all, they did walk in on you.
6: Hold a "group masturbation session" with your family to alleviate any arkwardness between each other.

DISCLAIMER: Allways take my advice with a pinch of salt (but not whilst masturbating)

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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05-09-2011, 12:32 PM
RE: This is ridiculous
Good luck with the above advice.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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05-09-2011, 12:34 PM
RE: This is ridiculous
(05-09-2011 12:25 PM)bemore Wrote:  I offer a few soloutions.

1: Stick up a sign that says "masturbating in progress"
2: Masturbate with your back resting against the door (early warning system)
3: When masturbating...make elaborate moans of ecstasy (to make others aware your in there)
4: Masturbate when nobody is in.
5: Think "fuck it" and continue regardless if somebody enters......why should you feel embaressed after all, they did walk in on you.
6: Hold a "group masturbation session" with your family to alleviate any arkwardness between each other.

DISCLAIMER: Allways take my advice with a pinch of salt (but not whilst masturbating)

Holy shit that was hilarious!

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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05-09-2011, 04:37 PM
RE: This is ridiculous
(05-09-2011 08:13 AM)latvianxave8 Wrote:  Also my uncle informs me that when I am in the shower, he feels no need to knock before entering to go the bathroom, and, quote, "will just walk in if I have to go"

Fair enough Uncle, but be advised that I'm probably in the middle of cranking one off when you walk in. ... I dunno what to make of it if you want to watch.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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05-09-2011, 04:43 PM
RE: This is ridiculous
latvianxave8 I highly recommend taking bemore's advice not only is he clearly a pro his advice is fucking hilarious [Image: smiley-laughing002.gif]

Behold the power of the force!
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