Threat From Neighbor
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04-02-2014, 04:46 PM
Threat From Neighbor
Hi everyone

I was hoping I could get some advice, feedback, or just a friendly ear for a problem I'm having with a next-door neighbor.

We bought our house back in '98. It was a fixer-upper (and still is, but we're getting there). One of our next-door neighbors is the loud, obnoxious type, with a bit of an anger problem. We typically keep to ourselves and don't bother anyone, but we've had problems with him over the years. The most prevalent of these is his decision to use my lawn as his dumping ground, be it for trash, for his dogs to crap on, or, his favorite, as an ashtray. For the past several years he's been chucking his cigarette butts into my yard. In addition, he has been suspected of acts of vandalism on our street, including a window on my house that was shot with a BB gun.

Because of his hostile personality, I try not to talk to him, and whenever I find one of the cigarette butts he's tossed into my yard, I toss it back into his yard, hoping he'll get the hint that anything he tosses into my yard I'll just toss back. And last night, while shoveling the snow off my sidewalk, he confronted me about it. He said that his wife had footage of me on their security camera tossing something into his yard (this must've been from back in the summer, but it's the first I'm hearing about it). I didn't back down: I told him that it was his cigarette butts and that anything he tosses into my yard I'll just toss back. He then claimed that they weren't his cigarette butts ("That's not my brand"), despite the fact that I've seen him do this. He just kept getting louder and angrier and I just kept repeating that anything he tosses in my yard will end up back in his. Finally, he told me that he's a man, and that I should've come over to talk to him about it, because that's how men handle things, and that I should be careful because I don't know anything about him (which isn't entirely accurate: I know he's a "man" who was arrested in 2011 for selling alcohol to minors and endangering their safety -- but I didn't say this because I knew it would just make him angrier, which didn't seem like a good idea). He finally told me that if I did it again, he'd kick my ass.

I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. You can't reason with the unreasonable, and if he was so much of a "man", he wouldn't have been tossing his cigarette butts and trash into my yard to begin with. But of course, now I'm worried about the possible vandalism, as seems to be his MO. To make matters worse, the neighborhood liar who lives across the street is now chummy with him, and he's been known to tell stories about people (at one point he was telling lies to me about my other next door neighbors, trying to work me up). The last thing I need is for this dude (who I haven't spoken to in 2 years) to tell the angry guy any stories.

And unfortunately, moving is not yet an option. The house still needs work done, and because it was such a fixer-upper our mortgage is cheap and allows us to send my son to a good, private (and expensive!) school. I just need a few more years.

I'm not expecting anyone will have any advice that will magically fix my problem. But any advice, any at all, would be appreciated. While I don't *fear* this neighbor, I *am* intimidated by him, and by what he could do. I stood my ground last night and didn't back down, but I feel like this is the worst the situation has been in the almost 16 years we've lived there. If I thought I could reason with him and work things out, I would, that's always preferable. I feel like this is a no-win situation.

Thanks for reading.
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04-02-2014, 04:59 PM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
Security cameras.

[Image: securitycams.jpg]

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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04-02-2014, 05:02 PM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
And don't be shy to call the police. Use whatever you've got legal wise. Make sure that if he tries anything you can hit him with the full force of the law.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-02-2014, 05:06 PM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
^^ Yep, he's already threatened you.

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Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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04-02-2014, 05:12 PM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
Gosh, we've had some lousy neighbors but nothing ever that bad.

I wouid think security cameras is a good idea, motion lights too.

We once had issues with a neighbor's child climbing over our back fence (parents refused to believe us). We installed a motion sensor light. That problem stopped right away.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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05-02-2014, 12:03 AM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
Call the police.

It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


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05-02-2014, 12:08 AM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
If your in Florida just shoot him and say you felt threatened.

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05-02-2014, 12:09 AM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
(05-02-2014 12:08 AM)Minimalist Wrote:  If your in Florida just shoot him and say you felt threatened.

Or Texas.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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05-02-2014, 03:52 AM
RE: Threat From Neighbor


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05-02-2014, 04:19 AM
RE: Threat From Neighbor
Hon, I really think you need to go to the police
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