To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
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21-11-2013, 03:29 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
(21-11-2013 02:20 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(21-11-2013 12:53 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  ...
And please, introduce me to a guy who doesn't think that it would suck to have to shave his legs on a regular basis. I'm betting that is a small minority.

That's why I wax.

Just thought I'd chip in with that.

Smile

I've shaved my legs twice to see what it was like. It sucked! And is itchy as hell when it grows back in.
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21-11-2013, 03:32 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
Quote:I don't think the Pam Anderson comparison works. She's an actress, and that means she's certainly where she is based on her looks. Hilary Clinton is not an actress, and her looks are totally irrelevant to her job. That's why I mention it.

She is an actress because she looks the way she does. And people are commenting on her intellect even that is not what her job is about, in that way they are in the same spot.
I made the comparison to show that for some being judged on their looks is a benefit and for some is a nuisance. And if people would judge women first on intellect it would be the same. Beneficial to some , not so for others.

Quote:
Quote: I'm not saying that society is not influencing what we consider beautiful, I am saying that that is inevitable , society will always set the standards of beauty or morals or whatever, and there will always be people who fall short.

I wasn't suggesting it was ever likely to change, I was giving reasons why women might find it easier to conform to those standards.

I was mostly replaying to this.

Quote:Have you thought about whether you actually like this type of woman or if you like that type of woman because it's what you've been told to like your whole life.



Quote:I don't know why you say I fail to consider it, when I made that exact same point a few times in my post (how fat used to be beautiful, for example, and thin/tan used to be undesirable).
Quote:Again, not sure where you are getting this from what I posted. I suggested it makes sense for women to conform because it makes their lives easier. How is that asking society to conform to fit me? I merely stated that I don't much give a damn about society, since I'm asexual/aromantic and don't much care if any men/women find me attractive, anyway.
I felt you didn't take it into account when talking about your personal experiences.
It seems I misunderstood your post as a complain about how people treated you based on your looks. In that case I'm sorry. I'm prone to "jumping the gun"

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21-11-2013, 03:33 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
(21-11-2013 03:29 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(21-11-2013 02:20 PM)DLJ Wrote:  That's why I wax.

Just thought I'd chip in with that.

Smile

I've shaved my legs twice to see what it was like. It sucked! And is itchy as hell when it grows back in.

time helps with that.......... (and buy better, more expensive razors)

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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21-11-2013, 03:56 PM (This post was last modified: 21-11-2013 04:05 PM by Adrianime.)
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
(21-11-2013 02:52 PM)cjlr Wrote:  
(21-11-2013 01:00 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I wholly don't understand, perhaps our cultures are very different, but the pressure on men to do anything to be considered "normal" men PALE in comparison to what women have to do.

Wait, what?

Social gender roles are pretty unforgiving, irrespective of particular gender...

(21-11-2013 01:00 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  What do you feel men need to do to be considered normal men because of social pressure? If they don't do these things are they judged? And keep in mind I'm mostly speaking of physical changes one has to make to their natural self.

There aren't as many superficial aesthetic things, that's true. Not that "don't be fat and dirty" are somehow gender specific!

I think in large part you notice what other people do, without thinking as much about what you are doing.
Gender roles are kind of a bigger issue. I mean, I know it applies here. But getting into actual behaviors vs body altering rituals would open this up to an extent that I didn't intend...

But here is how I'm seeing things. I wake up, I do our standard non-gender specific rituals of bathing/brushing. I throw on some clothes and I'm good to go. That's all I have to worry about, it takes me like 15 minutes a day. If I shave, then maybe an extra 5 minutes twice a week (but if I didn't shave I am not considered any less of a man).

As a female on the other hand, you wake up, you do the brushing and bathing and then you decide what to wear. Will you show your legs? Well then you sure as hell better shave because NO WAY IN HELL will you be seen in public with unshaved legs. Are you going to a social gathering? Better make sure your brows are plucked and your makeup makes you look fab, because NO WAY IN HELL are you going there looking like how you look after you get out of the shower.

I obviously don't have a perfect perspective nor have I had the opportunity to survey the entire U.S.. But I am basing this on every single female that I personally know in my life living this way (to some extent). And also how women are portrayed in pop culture & media. I do not know a single woman who would step out of her home showing hairy legs. Not a one.

All I'm really getting at is that these things that women do, while I love the result, and am definitely appreciative of the effort, seem like an unfair burden that has been placed on them. I personally would feel unhappy with having to "paint" my face, shave my legs, or several other things that women do because that is what our culture expects from them.

And women that aren't pressured by this? Awesome! But still, would you ever walk around with shorts and hairy legs out in public? If not, why not? I don't imagine that women sit around being pissed about this all the time or anything, I imagine it would be something you can get used to and incorporate into your hygiene ritual pretty easily. But from the outside looking in--as somebody who has never had that as part of my ritual--it seems like a heavy expectation to live up to.

Maybe I'm unaware of what guys have to go through? Because I can't think of any set of things men do to their appearance that is comparable to what women do.
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21-11-2013, 04:31 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
Quote:I felt you didn't take it into account when talking about your personal experiences.
It seems I misunderstood your post as a complain about how people treated you based on your looks. In that case I'm sorry. I'm prone to "jumping the gun"
I was giving examples, such as me being called a "bulldyke" for having short hair, not wearing makeup, and not shaving to show why women may be discouraged from doing things that way. I am not complaining, I am illustrating that people judge people according to societal standards. At no time did I expect the world to change for me.

But I mean to say, I think I was totally taking all that into account when talking about myself, in that I knew exactly the kind of reaction some people were likely to give me for it. If I was very bothered by those reactions, I probably would have started shaving and wearing makeup. But since I'm not, I just use them to illustrate how people judge others, which is involved in the pressure to strive for this standard of beauty that most people want to embody.

Quote: But still, would you ever walk around with shorts and hairy legs out in public? If not, why not?
Well, my legs aren't especially hairy and you can't see the fine, sparse hairs that are there due to the tattoos, but I have no problem wandering around in sleeveless shirts with unshaved armpits, if that counts.

Quote:Better make sure your brows are plucked and your makeup makes you look fab, because NO WAY IN HELL are you going there looking like how you look after you get out of the shower.
My old roommate used to put makeup on to go to the gas station at 3:00AM and no one would see us but the old creepy guy that worked there. It drove me nuts because she'd say we were going somewhere at a certain time, and it'd really be about an hour later, every time. ^_^
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21-11-2013, 04:51 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
Quote:I was giving examples, such as me being called a "bulldyke" for having short hair, not wearing makeup, and not shaving to show why women may be discouraged from doing things that way. I am not complaining, I am illustrating that people judge people according to societal standards. At no time did I expect the world to change for me.

But I mean to say, I think I was totally taking all that into account when talking about myself, in that I knew exactly the kind of reaction some people were likely to give me for it. If I was very bothered by those reactions, I probably would have started shaving and wearing makeup. But since I'm not, I just use them to illustrate how people judge others, which is involved in the pressure to strive for this standard of beauty that most people want to embody.
Ok, I get it now. My bad, I ran off on some tangent that was in my head , not in your post.

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21-11-2013, 05:11 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
(21-11-2013 04:31 PM)amyb Wrote:  
Quote: But still, would you ever walk around with shorts and hairy legs out in public? If not, why not?
Well, my legs aren't especially hairy and you can't see the fine, sparse hairs that are there due to the tattoos, but I have no problem wandering around in sleeveless shirts with unshaved armpits, if that counts.

Quote:Better make sure your brows are plucked and your makeup makes you look fab, because NO WAY IN HELL are you going there looking like how you look after you get out of the shower.
My old roommate used to put makeup on to go to the gas station at 3:00AM and no one would see us but the old creepy guy that worked there. It drove me nuts because she'd say we were going somewhere at a certain time, and it'd really be about an hour later, every time. ^_^
Smile @ your roommate story.

I admire your decision. I'm betting you've received crap for it. I think it's a brave thing to do sometimes..to just be yourself.
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21-11-2013, 05:14 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
(20-11-2013 06:00 PM)Dom Wrote:  Not all women have to shave their legs - some have hairless legs. (I do)

Me too. Big Grin

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22-11-2013, 10:43 PM (This post was last modified: 22-11-2013 10:50 PM by houseofcantor.)
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
(21-11-2013 03:56 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Will you show your legs? Well then you sure as hell better shave because NO WAY IN HELL will you be seen in public with unshaved legs.

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22-11-2013, 10:54 PM
RE: To be a woman: Sometimes I think it must suck!
As far as I'm concerned, the suckiest thing about being a woman is rinsing out a diva cup in a public bathroom. That, and menstruating in the first place.

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