Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
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29-05-2013, 01:23 PM
Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
This hasn't happened to me very often in the past 9 1/2 years since I left full-time pastoral ministry, but it's happening today.

I was thinking about how I've yet to find a job that brings me the same sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had when I was a minister. Don't get me wrong: I'm unable to think of a scenario where I could ever find myself with religious faith again. I was just remembering the feeling I had when I was part of a Evangelical Ghetto, the cloistered atmosphere of a small group separated from mainstream society. Supported in my beliefs by my fellow Believers. Respected professionally as a "big fish in a small pond." There were trials. There were hardships. There was also the peace and contentment that for me has only been found in blissful ignorance.

I do not want to go back to that ignorant worldview. I was just feeling a bit like this guy and wanted to share:




It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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29-05-2013, 01:44 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
(29-05-2013 01:23 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  This hasn't happened to me very often in the past 9 1/2 years since I left full-time pastoral ministry, but it's happening today.

I was thinking about how I've yet to find a job that brings me the same sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had when I was a minister. Don't get me wrong: I'm unable to think of a scenario where I could ever find myself with religious faith again. I was just remembering the feeling I had when I was part of a Evangelical Ghetto, the cloistered atmosphere of a small group separated from mainstream society. Supported in my beliefs by my fellow Believers. Respected professionally as a "big fish in a small pond." There were trials. There were hardships. There was also the peace and contentment that for me has only been found in blissful ignorance.

I do not want to go back to that ignorant worldview. I was just feeling a bit like this guy and wanted to share:




I didn't know that about you!

Hug I totally do understand that sense of fulfillment I used to do some work with teens who'd been sexually abused (odd I know) the act of helping others get through their problems was quite cathartic to me.

Sometimes we forget all the people's lives we touch in everyday ways.

You and all the good people here have certainly touched my life!


For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside,
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive -- Badlands; Bruce Springsteen

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29-05-2013, 01:58 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
Kind of feeling a little like this guy myself. Like I'm kind of in a fog and just want to stay there.

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29-05-2013, 02:18 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
Thanks, Mommy. You're very encouraging.

Smidgen, it sounds like you're smoking too much pot...as if there were such a thing as too much pot. Evil_monster

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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29-05-2013, 02:23 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
(29-05-2013 02:18 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Thanks, Mommy. You're very encouraging.

Smidgen, it sounds like you're smoking too much pot...as if there were such a thing as too much pot. Evil_monster

Wish I had that excuse. Never touch the stuff. But fuck I'm laughing like I'm high. Too funny.

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29-05-2013, 02:37 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
Sounds like the pot calling the pot pot to me.

I've never had a sense of purpose. Always been short term goals. Never been able to commit to anything really. I mean this dev shit is OK, I'm getting into a bit of deeper stuff now too... but it's hardly where my heart's at. The problem is... I dunno where my heart's at. Sometimes I love the stuff I do... sometimes I really hate it.

So youse is not alones... (can alone be plural ?). I think... people who do have purpose... are lucky. They're the ones who'll really achieve shit I think. 'Cos... driving hard for one goal... you *will* get there in the end. But it's having that vision in the first place...
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29-05-2013, 03:05 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
I'm not goal oriented myself. I can't find much that seems worth committing myself to. Sometimes I miss having faith in the world. I use to believe that in the end life was fair. That eventually good things always happened to good people. However, my niave perception of the world let me down many times. I had such high hopes that I was crushed when my hopes fell apart. While I miss the feeling of having so much faith in life, people, and God, I would never go back. I don't experience joy anymore but I also don't experience the shock of painful realities I was so stubborn to accept. Often I feel like I've been unplugged from the Matrix too. On a side note I wish I could still smoke pot. However, now there's talk of possibly drug testing people who receive government assistance. My disability is the only income I have so no more pot for me Undecided ~hope

"Believe me, nothing is trivial." ~Eric Draven
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29-05-2013, 03:54 PM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
(29-05-2013 01:23 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  I was thinking about how I've yet to find a job that brings me the same sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had when I was a minister.

Yeah, I can dig it. I remember graduating from seminary back in 2002 and hoping that I'd land a role in a men's ministry where I could help Xian men improve themselves, and thereby become a better man myself, all for Christ in the light of eternity. It's pretty neat being part of something bigger than oneself, even if it's really a big fat comfortable lie.

But you bring up a good point. We atheists don't have a temple on every corner where we can get a full-time job promoting atheism or "ministering" to other atheists. I guess it's pretty tough making a living at non-belief, unless you snag a job at a group like American Atheists, write a series of best-selling books, train to become a secular therapist, or get into the sciences/academia.

It seems like there are already a ton of "freelance" atheists doing blogs, videos, or podcasts and/or writing a deconversion-style book. Those are pretty much part-time activities that aren't really going to provide a steady stream of income, much less a full-time sense of fulfillment. Even active atheists like Seth and Matt Dillahunty have to keep their day-jobs. Does that mean most of us are stuck doing what we have to do most of the time in order to do what we want to do the rest of the time?

Quote:the cloistered atmosphere of a small group separated from mainstream society.

Wait, were you talking about Xian ministry, or being a Husky? If the latter, then perhaps you should enroll at WSU ASAP in order to gain a true sense of purpose...sorry if I got confused! Tongue
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29-05-2013, 07:55 PM
Re: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
Just go get a nice steak and all will be well. The Matrix taught me that one

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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31-05-2013, 12:19 AM
RE: Today I feel like that guy from The Matrix
I know exactly what you mean!
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