Today has been horrid
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25-02-2014, 12:42 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
I wish I knew what to say Pearl except to send hugs your way.
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25-02-2014, 01:30 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
Your husband doesn't like this guy either ? He sounds super scary... I think contact someone official pronto and find out what your options are - being afraid in your own home is no way to live, and there should hopefully be something you can do about it.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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25-02-2014, 05:00 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
Wow Pearl... I'm speechless. That is really really scary!! Hug

I agree with the others on finding out what your options are with child protective services. Maybe try a family lawyer as well. See what legal options you have for getting this kid out of your house.

Kudos to you for giving it a shot, but I'd do whatever was in my power to get that kid out of there.

Good luck, please keep us posted if you are comfortable with that. Hug

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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25-02-2014, 06:59 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
(25-02-2014 11:44 AM)Pearl Wrote:  The problem is this person is a minor....an older teenager....and my husband and I are his legal guardians....he just got out of lock up.....nobody else in his family will take him and as his legal guardians we are responsible for him whenever he is not incarcerated. We really were not aware of what we got ourselves into when we agreed to this arrangement, we thought we could help him. Turns out even the doctors say there is very little anyone can do for a person like this. Yes he is a minor and that makes me feel bad for him but when a person tortures animals and people for shits and giggles, I just can't wrap my head around it or accept it no matter what the age.

I have never been more afraid of anyone in my life, and technically he is just a kid. The things he does are.....well there are no words.NoSadcryfaceSadcryface2

We were told last week that if failed to show up and pick him up when he got out that we would be charged with abandonment...so yeah I really don't have a choice.

And for all of those of you that want to judge me for not wanting this "child" in my life anymore......well....I am sure after spending 24 hours in my shoes would change your mind. Thing is you just don't know till you have been there it seems. Undecided
Thing is I am a good person in my opinion, I have tried and tried till I was blue in the face, at what point do I have rights to say "Hey I can't do this anymore, I am falling apart!" Sadcryface

One word: rehoming. get a lawyer and relinquish your legal guardianship.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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25-02-2014, 09:18 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
I don't know the legalities of guardianship, but there cannot be a court in the land that obligates you to have someone under your roof that is a threat to your safety. You can trepass anyone you like from your property. You do not need to put up with this and the first stop should be the police.

What you are going through sounds horrific. How did you and your husband end up as his legal guardian?
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25-02-2014, 10:37 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
Wow, that does sound really terrifying! Surely there's something you can do. I mean, if he really is such a threat, I would think there'd be something. Sorry I don't know much in the way of legal things. Though it seems like other peeps here have ideas of what you can do. Sorry I can't help more Sad Do your best to stay strong Hug Keep us posted if you want/are able to.

[Image: notagain.gif]
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26-02-2014, 01:45 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
Wow, this sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place. As other have said, family services might help. For yourself and your husband, consider counseling just to get through the situation.

How long do you think you might have to have this person in your home?

By the way, you should be commended for helping for as much as you have.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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26-02-2014, 02:09 PM
RE: Today has been horrid
(25-02-2014 11:44 AM)Pearl Wrote:  The problem is this person is a minor....an older teenager....and my husband and I are his legal guardians....he just got out of lock up.....nobody else in his family will take him and as his legal guardians we are responsible for him whenever he is not incarcerated. We really were not aware of what we got ourselves into when we agreed to this arrangement, we thought we could help him. Turns out even the doctors say there is very little anyone can do for a person like this. Yes he is a minor and that makes me feel bad for him but when a person tortures animals and people for shits and giggles, I just can't wrap my head around it or accept it no matter what the age.

I have never been more afraid of anyone in my life, and technically he is just a kid. The things he does are.....well there are no words.NoSadcryfaceSadcryface2

We were told last week that if failed to show up and pick him up when he got out that we would be charged with abandonment...so yeah I really don't have a choice.

And for all of those of you that want to judge me for not wanting this "child" in my life anymore......well....I am sure after spending 24 hours in my shoes would change your mind. Thing is you just don't know till you have been there it seems. Undecided
Thing is I am a good person in my opinion, I have tried and tried till I was blue in the face, at what point do I have rights to say "Hey I can't do this anymore, I am falling apart!" Sadcryface



Wow - just Wow!
Living with a dangerous and self-sabotaging teen must be nerve wracking beyond belief. I'm so sorry this is your situation.

Depending upon where you live you are required (by law) to make available certain things to kids you're responsible for. Time for *Tough Love*.

You're (probably) responsible for providing food and shelter and the availability of education. That's pretty much it. So........ if it were me in that situation that is ALL I would provide. Coming and going MUST be at certain times during the day or night - with a very strict curfew. Period. Point to the kitchen and say "Yes, I will make food available to you but No you are not allowed at family meal times since you treat us poorly." Point to the laundry room and say "Yes, you may wash your laundry on X day for X amount of time. That will be the only time slot when you may use the machines." Point to the computer or Television and say "Yes you may have internet or TV time - at these hours during the day." etc. "You MAY leave this residence at this time in the morning and are expected BACK at X hour in the late afternoon. There will be absolutely NO coming and going at your leisure. This is NOT a hotel and I do NOT work for you. By LAW I am required to offer you shelter, food and make education available. Find your own way to school and if you miss and do not attend it is not my problem."

Get tough. LIST the requirements on the Fridge and make another copy for wherever they sleep. IN PRINT. Keep a printed page of what you ARE and are NOT allowing under your roof in case at some point this pain in the butt attracts police attention.

Get tough. Your house - your rules. Period.

Do not be a victim. Do not allow some teenager with a bullshit stupid attitude rule your safe space - your home. No. Your home - Your rules.

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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