Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
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27-10-2013, 01:40 PM
Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
Today in Church, we learned that there's a spiritual principle that if you give your money to the Church generously, magic will happen. Supernatural money will find its way to you.

But... If you give only a little, you tie God's hands in blessing you.

So, today we learned that I control God by being stingy (Un-Generous). Therefore, God's cryptonite is cheap people.
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27-10-2013, 03:06 PM
RE: Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
(27-10-2013 01:40 PM)onedream Wrote:  Today in Church, we learned that there's a spiritual principle that if you give your money to the Church generously, magic will happen. Supernatural money will find its way to you.

But... If you give only a little, you tie God's hands in blessing you.

So, today we learned that I control God by being stingy (Un-Generous). Therefore, God's cryptonite is cheap people.




(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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30-10-2013, 08:33 PM
RE: Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
What if you steal money from the collection ?

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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30-10-2013, 10:16 PM
Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
The the universe implodes.


(30-10-2013 08:33 PM)sporehux Wrote:  What if you steal money from the collection ?
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31-10-2013, 06:23 AM
RE: Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
This is the second thread I've seen lately that included those Wicked Clowns (theists, by the way, at least one of them) for reference. The other one was in the magnets thread. For all the hate tossed at Violent J and Shaggy, I think they have (had?) a message worth hearing.

That prosperity preaching is one of the worst things in and about religion.
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31-10-2013, 07:51 AM
RE: Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
That is hilarious.
And people buy (lol pun) into this shit...

[Image: 3cdac7eec8f6b059070d9df56f50a7ae.jpg]
Now with 40% more awesome.
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31-10-2013, 09:31 AM
RE: Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
I think God still owes me some magic money. >:|
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31-10-2013, 09:33 AM
Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
(31-10-2013 09:31 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I think God still owes me some magic money. >:|

Send me a Thousand bucks and I can release a Million Dollars to you. I live in Zimbabwe.
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31-10-2013, 09:35 AM
RE: Today's Sermon Notes - How To Control God
(31-10-2013 09:33 AM)onedream Wrote:  
(31-10-2013 09:31 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I think God still owes me some magic money. >:|

Send me a Thousand bucks and I can release a Million Dollars to you. I live in Zimbabwe.

But see I tried that already! God ruined my naïveté.
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