Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
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23-03-2017, 04:18 PM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
(23-03-2017 04:15 PM)Goosesniper Wrote:  
(23-03-2017 04:06 PM)skyking Wrote:  your post was what I have come to expect from you

Explain please?



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That she is a nice person and is more than willing to answer questions when posed in a respectful and inquisitive manner. And she will do her best to give a well thought out response to such questions.

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23-03-2017, 04:19 PM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
Emma is well spoken and puts the thread of thought together well. many of those things she said are in my head and I am in agreement, but I don't have the gift of putting it down like she does, or RocketSurgeon for example.
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23-03-2017, 04:20 PM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
(23-03-2017 04:15 PM)Goosesniper Wrote:  
(23-03-2017 04:06 PM)skyking Wrote:  your post was what I have come to expect from you

Explain please?

Emma consistently posts very eloquent responses to the transgender questions here. Straightforward; no malice; very instructional; and always well-intentioned. Thumbsup

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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23-03-2017, 04:23 PM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
(23-03-2017 04:15 PM)Goosesniper Wrote:  Explain please?

You really need to learn how to follow the thread structuring too. You've asked the wrong question of the wrong person. Congratulations. Confused

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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23-03-2017, 04:42 PM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
I once dated a male to female transgender. (Sorry if I am not up on proper terminology here.) I dated him/her for two years and then s/he moved to the other side of the country for a job opportunity as female. At the beginning of the two years, we just had an affair that lead to being friends with benefits. After a couple of months he told me that he was taking hormones and preparing to become her true self. Since I am bi, I didn't care. It was quite a roller coaster ride for her and I was glad to be a good friend during the process. We still email off and on and she is doing well and in a lesbian relationship.

None of it bothered me or changed our relationship, but, like I said, I am bi. It was nice to watch her happiness increase as the changes proceeded. Made me realize the importance of being able to be oneself.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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23-03-2017, 05:06 PM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
So I don't know what caused you a -16 reputation and why you are so cautious asking this. I also don't know what happened "yesterday" and I will not check any of that until after I wrote this answer because I want to be un-biased.

Now let me get some vocabulary straight first, so we are on the same page.
Transgender: A person that does not identify with the sex they were born in. This can mean that someone with a penis identifies as woman but it can also mean they identidy as nothing or attack helicopter for all I care.
Transsexual: Someone who had bottom (and top) surgery to have their sex match their gender.
Sex: Genitals
Gender: Identity
Gender roles: What society typically associates with a certain sex. For example "men don't cry" or "women are caring"
cis-man / cis-female: This person identifies with the sex they were born with.

So now let's dive into what you are asking:

About dating:
Dating usually is something that involves mainly two types of attraction, right? You are attracted to a person's personality but you are probably also attracted to their looks. Whatever you like or dislike in bed is your choice. It is your sexual preference and fair enough, if you you like cis-women that is absolutely fine. No matter how good a surgery is done, it doesn't matter. People who date have to be honest about their preferences, and this is absolutely something I would like to know about my partner.
So I do understand that you might not want to date / sleep with a transgender woman, simply because it is not your preference. I see this just like some people preferring big boobs or red hair... Fair enough

About being gay:
Being gay is a romantic preference and has nothing to do with how someone identifies themselves when it comes to their gender. So my (hypothetic) friend Max was born with a penis so his sex is male. He identifies as a male too so he is a cis-man. And he likes to date and sleep with women, so he is straight. If he likes to date and sleep with men, then he is gay. If he likes to sleep and date men and women, he is bi. (@all the "but there is more" people. We are keeping it simple now so shush away)
Now you see that you can be any sex or gender and you can still be straight or gay.
For example my (hypothetical neighbour) Julia was born a man, she identifies as woman, she had no surgery, and she likes men. We want to go somewhat traditional when we try to identify whether she is gay or straight or bi. So we know she identifies as female and she likes men so she is a straight transgender woman but she is not a transsexual. Follow me so far?

Wanting to change the sex:
Not every transgender person wants to or will change their sex. It is a very very risky and expensive and irreversible procedure. Only a few countries have a health care system that will help with the costs and after care. But not only that, some people just identify a certain way but they are perfectly ok with their bodies. Some transgender people are not happy with their sex but maybe they cannot get a surgery for whatever reason. So the wish to change your sex is not always present in every transgender person. And sometimes it just comes and goes like sometimes you are happy with the size of your penis and sometimes you wish it were bigger.

Would I personally date a transgender person?
Absolutely yes! And I would treat them like a fucking princess and then give them the fucking night of their life as well.
I am a transgender man without surgery and I am also bi. So I was born with a vagina, I have not had a bottom surgery, I like to date both men and women. And you know what? I am married to a man who knows I am transgender and is perfectly happy with it although he is as straight as you can be. Sexually he likes a female body. I have a female body. Good match, isn't it? Big Grin
Now if you'd see me on the street, you wouldn't be able to tell how I identify when it comes to gender. And you don't have to. I would never expect you to. And if we dated and you'd not be ok with that part of me, then fair enough. You have your romantic preferences.
See most of us transgender people really just want to live our lives and be accepted. Some people are a bit more flamboyant or more outgoing about it, and that is fine. Every minority needs those people that speak out for them so that things get normalised and accepted. Gays and Lesbians have had great success during the past decades. Let's hope the next decade brings the same success to the transgender community.

I hope that answers your questions.
And now that I wrote this post, I am going to check you and your track record on this forum because you acted suspicious in the first few sentences of this thread.

Cheers
R.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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24-03-2017, 03:23 AM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
Watch away, Leela... I think his questions sounded sincere. As you've seen from my posts, I'm quick to call someone out for the use of harmful language, but I think your final sentence smacks of "language policing".

It can be hard for WASP-raised people, no matter how good their intentions are, who have little exposure to alternate cultures to ask questions and learn without offending... and in their fear of hurting people by asking the wrong questions the wrong way, they're too often driven away from learning, which can lead to resentment.

Ignorance is not a sin until it becomes willful ignorance. It's important not to confuse the two.

Loved the rest of what you posted. Cheers. Smile

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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24-03-2017, 04:46 AM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
Does it make me a bad person to say that I wouldn't date a trans person? I don't care if someone is Trans (although I do think it's a little weird, but that's my problem). I don't agree with ant discrimination against Trans people, or any people, and firmly believe everyone should have the same rights and privileges under the law. But, personally, I have zero interest.

Btw, I'm a white, straight 48 yo male who's only ever been with, or interested in, women. Just providing context.I also think it has to be really tough to be trans. My sense is there is no group that puts up with more shit or faces more danger and discrimination.

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24-03-2017, 05:16 AM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
I have a related curious question I would like to ask Emma Smile Please, don't answer if you don't want to, it's a bit intimate!
Assuming that you weren't in a monogamous relationship and aren't lesbian and haven't had corrective surgery. Lots of hypotheticals here, but I've never had the chance to ask a transgender woman about this thing and I can't help wondering.
If you found yourself attracted to a cis guy and wanted to get intimate with him, how would you approach him? Nobody wants to introduce themselves with "Hello, I'm Emma and I have a penis." On the other hand, for a trans woman, not having a talk about what sort of genitals one has, before the "normal" time when the underwear comes off, can be dangerous! Trans women unfortunately often get beat up over that.
Do you think it's best if trans women just avoid having sex with cis men before getting to know them well enough to sit down with them and have such an intimate chat?
That'd seem a shame. Casual sex is good fun! Big Grin

Anyway. Personally it doesn't make a difference to me whether a persons sex match their gender or not.
I don't know if it makes a difference that I'm bisexual. I don't prefer one type of genitals over another or one gender over another, so shuffling them around doesn't make a difference. On the contrary I find it attractive when someone has the kind of courage it takes to do something as life altering as coming out trans to the world!

Anyway. Thanks for being so open about yourself and letting people ask questions. It's important that being transgender gets "normalized" in the eyes of people, not something considered abnormal or negative. Being brave enough to let the world know is the way to achieve that.

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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24-03-2017, 05:59 AM
RE: Transgender questions. I promise I won't be rude. Just curious to know
I would be open to dating a transgender woman who has had reassignment surgery. In theory anyway, I'm married and off the market!

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