Trouble relaxing
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21-05-2016, 06:15 PM
Trouble relaxing
For the past 8 months, I've been working 2 jobs part-time, up to 60 hours in a week. Ostensibly this has been to earn enough to pay rent and save up for a car and/or grad school in the future, but I've come to realize that a lot of the reasoning behind this decision has been that I need to have something to do to fill my time that makes me feel productive.
I just quit one of my jobs (yesterday was my last day), and while my other job is giving me more hours so I'm making enough to continue saving some money, I'm definitely not going to be as busy anymore. I feel really good about getting a bit of a break but I've just noticed some anxiety coming up around all of this. I have a history of perfectionism, and I tend to feel really guilty when I'm not doing something "productive." I know that having some time to relax is psychologically healthy and thus productive in the long run, but I get so much anxiety when I'm not doing anything that feels important. I usually just end up stress eating and going on pointless walks to kill time but I feel really bad about it at the end of the day.
Does anyone else have this problem or any advice on how to deal with it? I'm planning on bringing it up with my therapist at my next appointment, but that's not for a couple more weeks. Even just some support and hugs would be very much appreciated. Thanks all Smile
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21-05-2016, 06:32 PM
RE: Trouble relaxing
I'm one of those people who don't much like being idle. Nothing wrong with that. I've heard it's possible to break the desire for busy-ness by meditating or going on one of those pricey retreats where you aren't allowed to talk--supposedly it takes about three days to really relax, and there's a lot of sleeping involved, it all sounds very boring, frankly. I don't usually have three days to spare, so my solution has always been to find a substitute activity. I think of it as active relaxing.

Find a meaningful project and use it to fill some of the extra time. Google a list of the 100 best books, or movies or plays, if books aren't your thing, and read or watch them. Volunteer at a food bank or tutor at-risk kids. Refinish a piece of furniture. Outline a novel and start to write it. Start a blog. If you walk, use the walks to explore new places. Organize a closet, start learning French or piano, etc. It's fun to pick something that will give your brain new information but that you can put aside easily.

But also, there's nothing wrong with doing nothing, and you can get used to that, too. If you allow yourself to get a little bored, your back brain may come up with something exciting and worthwhile for your energies.
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21-05-2016, 07:55 PM (This post was last modified: 21-05-2016 08:02 PM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Trouble relaxing
Having recently entered recovery, I regard idle time as a definite trigger, and avoid it. Aside from mucho housecleaning, and playing my guitar and writing more songs, I recently built a speaker-cabinet for a guitar amplifier, and am planning a second build with an experimental design. If it weren't for my bum hip, I'd definitely be doing more hiking and swimming. I'll be building a roof for my porch in a month or so.

Go back to college, take lessons as mentioned above, join a club catering to your interests ... the world is your oyster.
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