Trying to Stay Positive
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12-03-2013, 06:15 PM (This post was last modified: 12-03-2013 07:50 PM by Peanut.)
Trying to Stay Positive
Just trying to stay positive when everything around me is crumbling to the ground.

That is all. Carry on.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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12-03-2013, 08:41 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
C'mon, girl, you can do it! I definitely believe you can get through this unscathed.

Keep your head strong. If you require an ear please PM me and I'm sure LadyJane wouldn't mind if you PM'd her too.

Heart

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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12-03-2013, 08:49 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
(12-03-2013 08:41 PM)aurora Wrote:  C'mon, girl, you can do it! I definitely believe you can get through this unscathed.

Keep your head strong. If you require an ear please PM me and I'm sure LadyJane wouldn't mind if you PM'd her too.

Heart
You're too kind, Aurora Blush
I had to completely edit this original thread because I was afraid it came off as too emotional and I was TOTALLY asking for someone to lend an open ear and mind.

I think I might just PM you... Thanks.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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13-03-2013, 01:32 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
Sending hugs your way!


For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside,
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive -- Badlands; Bruce Springsteen

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14-03-2013, 03:59 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
Peanut, have things gotten any better for you since you originally posted?
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14-03-2013, 04:47 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
(14-03-2013 03:59 PM)PurpleChimp Wrote:  Peanut, have things gotten any better for you since you originally posted?
Not really... I have reached a plateau Unsure

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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14-03-2013, 04:50 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
Keep your head up...one foot in front of the other.

You reached a plateau...at least you got somewhere...just keep on keeping on.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.
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14-03-2013, 04:56 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
Emotions interpret our environment- nothing wrong with that.

I can relate, I've been in some situations where I feel like this. Good for you for making a conscious effort to stay positive. Staying positive is a goal itself and people who set goals are shown to be better off than those who don't.

If you need an ear, I have a PM too!
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14-03-2013, 06:51 PM (This post was last modified: 14-03-2013 07:02 PM by Peanut.)
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
I'm just going to say it aloud. Perhaps some other person is or will be going through the same kind of situation and will need information. For this reason, I'm going to state it publicly:

I want to leave my current boyfriend. I just want to be on my own. I have never been NOT in a relationship. I've only ever had two relationships. I don't know what it's like to find myself and be alone.

I just talked with him again a little while ago. I said, "What if we were MARRIED?! It doesn't concern you that I'm questioning this relationship NOW? What's to say that I wouldn't have felt this way after tying the knot?"

He said it DOES scare him. But of course, he doesn't want to discuss it. We had our FIRST argument only a few weeks ago (Maybe a couple months.) and it had been more than 3 YEARS! That's NOT "normal." I find I have been walking on "egg shells" at times. Not for fear that he will freak out and/or harm me or anything. (I feared that in my first relationship, so I fear that's all I fucking KNOW.) But I worry about saying things or voicing my opinions for fear that I'll offend him.

I know in my heart that something is not right and something is missing. In having only 2 relationships, I've known a HORRIBLE relationship and a WONDERFUL relationship. My worry is just choosing the "wonderful" option because it was "better than anything I've known." I don't want to settle.

That being said, I have concerns and I've been driving myself almost mad:

*I don't have a license. There. I said it. (I am a great driver, but the government is strict and driving tests cost a lot of money, especially on my budget.)
*My weekly hours are never a guarantee. I think I average about 20 hours a week!
*I don't have a degree. I went to college for 3 years, but dropped out to try and make more hours at work... (Irony.)
*I have no savings. All of my income goes to monthly bills. I have a credit card, but I rarely use it because, at one point in my life, I was a stupid 18 year old. In a matter of six months, I got out of debt after working extra hours and almost my whole paycheck every two weeks went to paying them off. So as far as I know, my credit is iffy at best.
*I'm afraid to confuse my son. I don't want him to see mommy unhappy.

I DO know that I'm a determined woman and when I set my mind to something, I work my hardest and ALWAYS give 100%. But I fear the unknown. If it were JUST me and I didn't have a child to take care of, my outlook would be completely different.

Sorry for the over share of information. But I realized if I don't talk about it, I'm just going to withdraw into myself and possibly stay in the same place because it's all I know; I'm a survivor, so the instinct to stay with something that is keeping a roof over my head and food in my child's belly is a powerful thing to resist. (If that sentence just made me sound pathetic...Well, I don't know how else to say it. But there it is.)

See? My world is crumbling around me.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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14-03-2013, 07:00 PM
RE: Trying to Stay Positive
Start making a plan. Look into finishing your education. Look for a better job or a second job.

I get the staying for the kids things...I think I wrote that book...think things through, examine options. What can you manage? What can you do without? Is there any family that could help for a time?

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.
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