Trying to get a vasectomy
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07-05-2015, 02:17 AM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
The way tubal ligation is done these days a woman can go back to work in a day or two. The old way, it was more invasive so recovery took a little longer.
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07-05-2015, 10:33 AM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
(23-04-2015 04:18 PM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  So me and my wife have discussed the matter of me getting a vasectomy. With her having a condition which makes it highly likely that she will have a miscarriage if she did get pregnant along with our views we feel it's best we don't have kids. Now we both are young(23 and 24) so we understand that we might change our minds later in life but we both would rather adopt seeing as that's better for the whole of society. We see no point in putting another mouth to feed on this earth when there are plenty of kids who need parents.

So today I go to my doctor to get referred to a urologist to get scheduled for the procedure and although I was expecting the whole "your only 20 something" argument I wasn't expecting the extra stuff. So we sit down he goes through the normal questions. Are you married, have any kids, and your age. When I tell him that we don't have any he gives me a look. I go on to explain my wife's condition which I figured is a damn good reason for this. I'd rather not procreate and not sacrifice my wife's health. He then goes on to say " Well you know 60% of military marriages don't work right? Who's to say you won't end up someone different who can safely have kids?" Blink WTF?!? Why is that even relevant?

So I end up getting the ok finally but there is a strong chance when I call tomorrow to schedule with urology they'll turn me away when they here my age and how I have no kids. I seriously hate this. Why is it that most of our society feel like we HAVE to procreate? I mean that whole for the good of the species argument is total bullshit. We are so fucking overpopulated its a joke. But for some reason some people still look down on people who don't want to have kids because we actually give a shit about overpopulation. And why is it that doctors turn away patients who actually have a legit reason no matter the age? I mean it's not like I can blame the doctor if I change my mind later. That's what waivers are for right?

I'm just hoping that the urologist understand that I have a legit reason and concern for my wife's health. I've had a few family members suffer a miscarriage and it's something you never really get over fully. I'd never want to put her through that. And of course she could get her tubes tied but that leads to a host of problems for women. It just seems less of a toll on me to have a vasectomy that have her have to deal with even more health problems than she currently has.

I wouldn't dare patronize you by saying you are too young to make decisions with regard to your fertility. You are serving our country, are married and have attained the legal age by which, I presume, you have accomplished both of your own volition.

But let me assure you that tying tubes does not in any way cause women more problems than a vasectomy. Belly button incisions, staples, done. Plumbing intact, but well disconnected. She still has her ovaries for the health of the rest of her endocrine system (and from which to harvest ready eggs for a surrogate later, **if** she chooses) just no pregnancy worries!

Conversely, if you wanted to reverse a vasectomy, it is a much nastier procedure and your body may never gear back up to produce good quality sperm. The assembly line simply quits making *some* of the component parts when you close the factory, so to speak. Higher rates of future prostate cancer for those choosing a vasectomy notwithstanding, my concern remains with which partner would suffer most directly with an unwanted pregnancy.

Since it is obviously your wife's health that would be most directly effected by a pregnancy, such a truly simple operation as a tubal ligation may be medically indicated and therefore, no begging a bunch of judgmental doctors in order for you to control your family planning. Make the doctors solve your problem in spite of themselves.

(DISCLAIMER: Our share of miscarriages thus endured and our family complete, my own Marine Officer drove his rugged ass home --with a manual transmission Bowing-- from the quick out-patient procedure, applied a colorful rotation of frozen produce to the man-sack for three rather restless nights but was no worse for it. By direct comparison, my best friend was in MUCH less pain with her tubal performed in the same Navy hospital. She felt guilty using the doctor's note to avoid real work she felt more than able to do inside of 24 hours--but admittedly milked it for the break from the three children her uterus had already produced.)

The side benefit of allowing YOU to stay "intact" **MAY** leave you options in a future WITH (surrogates are readily available on military bases---I speak from direct experience) or WITHOUT (divorce from or premature death of) your beloved wife.

In their defense, the doctors are only doing their due diligence with regard to information that they cannot presume any patient does or does not fully understand.

Don't be bullied, just allow yourself to be well informed. At EVERY AGE we should ALL allow ourselves to think the unthinkable--plan for ALL possibilities---even unpleasant realities---divorce, death, that god might be a farce created by humans to control the credulous... There are atheists in foxholes who don't need bibles but we do have GPOAs for deployments, SGLI for untimely death, Living Wills...blahblahblah....military families have to think the unthinkable in advance. Its what we do.

And I admire anyone who can PREEMPTIVELY recognize that parenting may not be their calling. Because try as you might, and even if you hide it under a litter of cute kittens, you will find that they JUST. WONT. TAKE. a newborn infant at the county pound. (Not that I would know a THING about that.)

Semper Fi and all that jingoistic bullshit. Wink
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07-05-2015, 03:32 PM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
If you wife gets a vasectomy, sex can be spontaneous. No side-effects like with birth control pills. No birth control is 100% except the tubal.
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07-05-2015, 06:21 PM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
(01-05-2015 09:35 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I don't see any reason to "pass on the dna".

It's an outdated, unneeded, and unwanted mindset in a world with 8 BILLION people.

And it really pissed me off for some prick with a medical degree to insist that I was illogical about it....

You were 19 yo in the military asking for an elective procedure. Dunno why you would think that was even an option. I actually could have received a vasectomy when I was in the military to cut out varicoceles. The urologist says, "It's not cancer, it's just your tubes are kinked. If it don't hurt we usually won't mess with it and you're likely still fertile. It'll just take some really determined sperm to navigate your pipes." "It don't hurt." 4 progeny later, my sperm have made me proud.

#sigh
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14-05-2015, 05:14 PM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
Boy, I made a blunder when I said if your wife gets a vasectomy. That would make medical history. I meant tubal ligation.
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16-05-2015, 05:28 AM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
UGH!!! I am sick of people trying to deny young people sterilization "for their own good"! I'm trying to get sterilized and have to go talk to a psychologist next week and convince her that I'm making a competent decision so the hospital my new doctor works at will let me get the procedure. And meanwhile, morons will be pushing five kids out they never take care of and nobody tries to intervene, make them see a psychologist before procreating. Only a small fraction of young people regret their sterilizations. That does not mean deny every young person wanting a sterilization. In a nutshell, it's a PRIVATE, PERSONAL decision, and if we regret it, let it be our problem.
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16-05-2015, 08:57 AM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
I got snipped after my second kid. It never "weighed" on me. I never felt like it was an earth shattering decision. Yeah, QC and I have been together for 8 years, and I don't see that ending; however, that's more or less irrelevant to me.

I don't want anymore kids. Whether with QC or another chick or Muffs. I don't want more than two kids.

If you know you don't want anymore, get snipped.

Word of warning, though... Despite what people say, that crap hurts. It hurts bad.

Oh, and find a doc that will do it.

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18-05-2015, 02:21 PM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
(07-05-2015 03:32 PM)Takelababy Wrote:  If you wife gets a vasectomy, sex can be spontaneous. No side-effects like with birth control pills. No birth control is 100% except the tubal.

There are so, so many softballs in that typo...Laughat..even softballs about softballs....

BUT>>>Typo notwithstanding, my husband likened the spontenaity after his procedure to being married to an NFL cheerleader.

(...now, just HOW he would know to liken it to that, I suppose is a question for another thread. Or a divorce attorney.)
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24-05-2015, 03:38 PM
RE: Trying to get a vasectomy
Just wear a condom and adopt a child. What happens if you get divorced in a couple of years and find someone else later in life, like around 30 or something?


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