Trying to keep my head above water...
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05-02-2017, 11:03 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(04-02-2017 10:36 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Trying to take happiness in small things. My son went over to a friend's house for the day and to spend the night. Daughter spent the day with her boyfriend and his family - his parents seem nice and I feel comfortable with my daughter spending time there. As long as the kids are happy and are having some good things happen for them, I am glad. They don't need to be worrying about all the bullshit going on.

And me and Rev watched Superman (the Christopher Reeves one) - me for the first time. So that was neat. Smile I've been looking at a lot of dog videos on YouTube too, in anticipation of us someday getting a fur-baby. Tongue I am coming around to the idea of a dog quite a bit more, so yay for that. Still a bit nervous, but after Rev went for the nuclear option on me (he'd said at one point, when I was really not at all thrilled about the idea of a dog, that he had one really good reason that might sway my mind: Because it would make me happy, he said, and yeah that was cheating 'cause it melted my heart. Blush ) I've been quite a bit more on-board.

What also has helped is that Rev more or less banned me from watching news stuff. 'Cause I just can't handle it right now. Hobo

Things that have helped me is, yes, not listening to the news on TV. I have to walk out of the room immediately even if I just see trumps orange face on TV. He makes me physically ill. But I'm trying to be proactive and I'm going to the town hall meeting being held by our state Senator, Ron Wyden, who has been really pushing hard to get trump to release his taxes. In his emails he's said that the town hall meetings he's held around the state have been overflowing. He said in his entire career he's never seen this happen. I find that VERY encouraging.

Tomorrow (Monday) I'm phoning the Homeland Security Committee to leave a message protesting Bannon being on the NSC. Apparently the Homeland Security's phone lines have been swamped with people protesting Bannon. It's difficult to get through to leave a message. This is encouraging too. Thumbsup

Here's the number if you want to leave a message. 202 224 4751

Starbucks and many coffee shops around the country are donating money to the ACLU on Feb 4th and 5th so yesterday I found a Starbucks that is part of the fundraising and got some hot chocolate....with whipped cream on the top....Drooling

Listen, I have never in my life been this way. I've always been one of those apathetic, non participants who just voted and figured that was enough. It's like something happened to me. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to roll up in a ball and take this shit from a fucked up, orange assed narcissist! Ta hell with him!

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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05-02-2017, 11:04 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
Yeah, I'm just trying to find a compromise. I see getting a pet the same as having another baby. Only the dog just stays in that baby/toddler phase and they never grow out of it. That's the best thing about kids is that eventually they grow up and gain independence and go off on their own. A dog will never do that. But Rev doesn't see dogs that way so, eh.

I gotta stop thinking about this or I'll be stressed again. Sad

I just don't want a dog to come in and be a disaster and then me resent Rev having wanted one in the first place. That's what I really don't want. Our relationship is really good right now - I don't want a dog to come in and screw that up.

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05-02-2017, 11:08 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(05-02-2017 10:42 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Well, it's a process. I am not a dog person, nor any kind of pet person and never have been. They didn't decrease my stress, they increased it because my ex would bring them in and say he would take care of them and then all the responsibility would fall to me and I'd end up having to feed and clean up after the dog, along with doing most every other domestic chore around the house at the time. Ugh. It's making me mad just thinking about it. Angry

I don't need a pet in my life - dog or otherwise. I find I don't get much out of the relationship, I don't feel the dog "loves" me or any stuff like that. It would always feel like the dog was "take take take" and I got nothing back so why would I want that?

But Rev is a pet person and if he is wanting one, I have to try and be okay with it or get used to the idea, and I have to give it a chance because Rev is not my ex so, yeah.

Anyway, it'll be... interesting. It's been a slow process for me to come to a point of seeing animals as even semi-equals to people, but it's getting there. I still can't tolerate a dog (or cat!) in the bed, though - can't fuckin' sleep with a non-human animal in the bed. Hobo

My worries about a pet at the moment are: that I'll be jealous of the dog (yes, stupid maybe, but there it is), that it'll tear up my things (namely my stuffed animals or clothes Sad ), that it'll pester me all the time wanting attention, that it won't sleep in a crate or wherever at night and will whine until it inevitably gets a place in my bed and then I'll be sleeping on a couch because again, I can't sleep with a non-human animal in the bed.

Blegh. I shouldn't have typed all that. Now my dog worries are cropping up again. Sad Stuffed animals are best.
That's ok if you are not a dog or pet person the animal will sense that and not warm to you, but do not deny your beloved the love of a furry companion just take a back seat, hell it may change your mind and at the least your partner will love you for it and maybe even your children will too.
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05-02-2017, 11:10 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
Btw animals should not sleep on human beds Imo, not good for either.
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05-02-2017, 11:15 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(05-02-2017 11:08 AM)adey67 Wrote:  
(05-02-2017 10:42 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Well, it's a process. I am not a dog person, nor any kind of pet person and never have been. They didn't decrease my stress, they increased it because my ex would bring them in and say he would take care of them and then all the responsibility would fall to me and I'd end up having to feed and clean up after the dog, along with doing most every other domestic chore around the house at the time. Ugh. It's making me mad just thinking about it. Angry

I don't need a pet in my life - dog or otherwise. I find I don't get much out of the relationship, I don't feel the dog "loves" me or any stuff like that. It would always feel like the dog was "take take take" and I got nothing back so why would I want that?

But Rev is a pet person and if he is wanting one, I have to try and be okay with it or get used to the idea, and I have to give it a chance because Rev is not my ex so, yeah.

Anyway, it'll be... interesting. It's been a slow process for me to come to a point of seeing animals as even semi-equals to people, but it's getting there. I still can't tolerate a dog (or cat!) in the bed, though - can't fuckin' sleep with a non-human animal in the bed. Hobo

My worries about a pet at the moment are: that I'll be jealous of the dog (yes, stupid maybe, but there it is), that it'll tear up my things (namely my stuffed animals or clothes Sad ), that it'll pester me all the time wanting attention, that it won't sleep in a crate or wherever at night and will whine until it inevitably gets a place in my bed and then I'll be sleeping on a couch because again, I can't sleep with a non-human animal in the bed.

Blegh. I shouldn't have typed all that. Now my dog worries are cropping up again. Sad Stuffed animals are best.
That's ok if you are not a dog or pet person the animal will sense that and not warm to you, but do not deny your beloved the love of a furry companion just take a back seat, hell it may change your mind and at the least your partner will love you for it and maybe even your children will too.

Well, most dogs don't seem to get the hint! Tongue In fact, it seems like the dogs sense that I am not a dog person and they are intent on winning me over! Facepalm It's quite annoying. Dodgy

But anyway, yeah, I love Rev and he wants a dog (which I don't quite understand, but I am trying to) and he isn't an asshole like my ex so when Rev says he will take responsibility for the dog, I am more inclined to believe him. We'll see how it goes. It'll still be a little while yet before we get a dog, but I'm trying to be mentally prepared for it when it does happen. Confused

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05-02-2017, 11:15 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
Its all about compromise and trying to understand how important pet dogs can be even if you don't particularly like them yourself.....sorry to lecture didn't mean to do that, just passionate about dogs...... Btw did I tell you I like dogs ? Tongue Big Grin
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05-02-2017, 11:20 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(05-02-2017 11:04 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  That's the best thing about kids is that eventually they grow up and gain independence and go off on their own.

Oh my gosh yes. Any time I go out with my few girl friends, they inevitably end up being sad that their little ones are growing up and not babies any more. Whereas I am all 'bring it on' about growing up and gaining independence. Our one-and-done is 8, and she's been potty trained forever now, she gets dressed on her own, and when she asks too many questions in a row I can tell her to go look it up in her dictionary or encyclopedia. Also, she's currently unloading the dishwasher while I sit and play on the computer. I fail to see the disadvantage in this... Wink
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05-02-2017, 11:23 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(05-02-2017 11:20 AM)leigh7911 Wrote:  
(05-02-2017 11:04 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  That's the best thing about kids is that eventually they grow up and gain independence and go off on their own.

Oh my gosh yes. Any time I go out with my few girl friends, they inevitably end up being sad that their little ones are growing up and not babies any more. Whereas I am all 'bring it on' about growing up and gaining independence. Our one-and-done is 8, and she's been potty trained forever now, she gets dressed on her own, and when she asks too many questions in a row I can tell her to go look it up in her dictionary or encyclopedia. Also, she's currently unloading the dishwasher while I sit and play on the computer. I fail to see the disadvantage in this... Wink

Heh, yeah I have been in that position many times. A lot of the women I am around will say "Oh I wish mine were tiny again" and I'm like nope. Sleepy

My oldest will be 16 in May and my son turns 12 at the end of this month. I enjoy seeing them become more and more their own person. There is scary stuff about them getting older, sure - I worry about them making some of the same mistakes I did, for example - but a lot of it is fun. Smile

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05-02-2017, 11:24 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(05-02-2017 11:15 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  
(05-02-2017 11:08 AM)adey67 Wrote:  That's ok if you are not a dog or pet person the animal will sense that and not warm to you, but do not deny your beloved the love of a furry companion just take a back seat, hell it may change your mind and at the least your partner will love you for it and maybe even your children will too.

Well, most dogs don't seem to get the hint! Tongue In fact, it seems like the dogs sense that I am not a dog person and they are intent on winning me over! Facepalm It's quite annoying. Dodgy

But anyway, yeah, I love Rev and he wants a dog (which I don't quite understand, but I am trying to) and he isn't an asshole like my ex so when Rev says he will take responsibility for the dog, I am more inclined to believe him. We'll see how it goes. It'll still be a little while yet before we get a dog, but I'm trying to be mentally prepared for it when it does happen. Confused

My best friend is ssssooooo not an animal person and I know she rolls her eyes over my love for all things furry and feathered. When her boys were young they finally won their dad over and they got a dog. Was it perfect...no. But that dog was just what my friend's older son needed. After the boys left home the dog remained for her last couple of years. It now makes me chuckle when she mentions dog-sitting her granddog. She accepts it because the dog means so much to her younger son and her granddaughters. But she is still not an animal person but she learned to accept that some of the people in her life are.

And...stop thinking the worst! Quit that! Right now. Big Grin

Compromise is what helps things work between people who have different preferences, likes, and dislikes. The world would be pretty dull if we were just echo chambers of one another.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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05-02-2017, 11:28 AM
RE: Trying to keep my head above water...
(05-02-2017 11:24 AM)Anjele Wrote:  And...stop thinking the worst! Quit that! Right now. Big Grin

Yes, Anj. Shy

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