Turning In My Man-Card
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11-02-2013, 08:13 AM (This post was last modified: 11-02-2013 08:17 AM by Misanthropik.)
Turning In My Man-Card
So, I've lost the right to call myself a man today. Gotta turn in my Man-card and have the committee put a "VOID" stamp on it so I can't use it anymore. Why, you ask? Allow me to explain.

I often take the responsibility of picking my brother up from my parents' place and taking him to school when they've got other duties to perform. So this morning, I picked him up and filled his head with Dimmu Borgir and Gorgoroth and all sorts of other crazy music on the way to school - pretty routine stuff.

As we approached the entrance of the school, I noticed that there was a little girl walking just behind us. She was a cute kid; probably about 9 or 10 years old with long brown hair and a nice little dress on. We got to the front doors and I opened one; shuffling my brother inside. Being the gentleman that I am, I remembered the little girl and stepped aside to hold the door for her. That's pretty much when all hell broke loose.

Stepping aside, I held the door and looked at her; waiting for her to scurry inside away from the big scary man with sunglasses on his eyes and metal in his lip. But instead she stood there; giving me the same patient look that I was giving her. So I motioned my hand at the door and said "You can go ahead." She responded, "It's ok; you can go."

"No no; you can go" I replied with a smile.

"It's really ok; you can go" she said.

"It's not my school," I laughed, "you've gotta go inside and learn stuff."

She then put her hands behind her back, stood up on her tip-toes, shook her head and said "I'm not gonna do it" with a big triumphant smile. "Not until you go." At this point, I could see a few people in the front office looking at us through the glass wall and I started to sweat. I know they could totally tell I was losing.

"Seriously," I said, "go inside."

"Nope" Tongue

So, after a moment of hesitation, I bowed my head in defeat and timidly walked inside. I held the door behind me and she scampered past me, then skipped - litterally; fuckin' skipped - down the hall, giving me a nice "Thank you!" as she did so.

I'm pretty sure she's gonna keep my balls in a glass jar on her pink dresser. Right next to her "My Little Pony" figurines and her plastic teaset. Sadcryface2

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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11-02-2013, 08:32 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
If it will help, I will recommend to the committee that you should get your card back after some deeds of Man-Community-Service.

When you've recovered a little from your ordeal, we could form a group and talk through some suggestions of Man-deeds you can do.

Start by pulling the girl's hair next time you see her.

Who should we get to chair the group?
GirlyMan, Chas, Earmuffs, Vera?

Consider

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11-02-2013, 08:54 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
(11-02-2013 08:32 AM)DLJ Wrote:  If it will help, I will recommend to the committee that you should get your card back after some deeds of Man-Community-Service.

When you've recovered a little from your ordeal, we could form a group and talk through some suggestions of Man-deeds you can do.

Start by pulling the girl's hair next time you see her.

Who should we get to chair the group?
GirlyMan, Chas, Earmuffs, Vera?

Consider
*Sniff* Ok. Sadcryface I'll kick her, too. Then I run away giggling.

.....Oh god I'm starting all over from the begining! Weeping

I don't know about those choices, though. Girly gets his testosterone from pills; Chas is old; Muffs is a fruit and Vera's a chick. None seem especially qualified.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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11-02-2013, 08:58 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
(11-02-2013 08:54 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  
(11-02-2013 08:32 AM)DLJ Wrote:  If it will help, I will recommend to the committee that you should get your card back after some deeds of Man-Community-Service.

When you've recovered a little from your ordeal, we could form a group and talk through some suggestions of Man-deeds you can do.

Start by pulling the girl's hair next time you see her.

Who should we get to chair the group?
GirlyMan, Chas, Earmuffs, Vera?

Consider
*Sniff* Ok. Sadcryface I'll kick her, too. Then I run away giggling.

.....Oh god I'm starting all over from the begining! Weeping

I don't know about those choices, though. Girly gets his testosterone from pills; Chas is old; Muffs is a fruit and Vera's a chick. None seem especially qualified.

Hahaha! That story just made my morning! Big Grin

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11-02-2013, 09:01 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
(11-02-2013 08:54 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  
(11-02-2013 08:32 AM)DLJ Wrote:  If it will help, I will recommend to the committee that you should get your card back after some deeds of Man-Community-Service.

When you've recovered a little from your ordeal, we could form a group and talk through some suggestions of Man-deeds you can do.

Start by pulling the girl's hair next time you see her.

Who should we get to chair the group?
GirlyMan, Chas, Earmuffs, Vera?

Consider
*Sniff* Ok. Sadcryface I'll kick her, too. Then I run away giggling.

.....Oh god I'm starting all over from the begining! Weeping

I don't know about those choices, though. Girly gets his testosterone from pills; Chas is old; Muffs is a fruit and Vera's a chick. None seem especially qualified.


Old, huh? Consider

Well, I want to know why you didn't slam the door in her rude and ungrateful little face. You wuss. Dodgy

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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11-02-2013, 09:03 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
(11-02-2013 08:32 AM)DLJ Wrote:  GirlyMan, Chas, Earmuffs, Vera?

Consider
Excuse me, what exactly am I doing in this group? Having skipped the story (turned in my shrink badge quite some time ago, thank you very much) I haven't the foggiest, but I can't see it being a compliment.

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11-02-2013, 09:05 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
(11-02-2013 09:01 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(11-02-2013 08:54 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  *Sniff* Ok. Sadcryface I'll kick her, too. Then I run away giggling.

.....Oh god I'm starting all over from the begining! Weeping

I don't know about those choices, though. Girly gets his testosterone from pills; Chas is old; Muffs is a fruit and Vera's a chick. None seem especially qualified.


Old, huh? Consider

Well, I want to know why you didn't slam the door in her rude and ungrateful little face. You wuss. Dodgy

I thought about it, but then I remembered "Oh...Chas might find that in poor taste. Manners matter, after all."

Aaaaaaaaaand checkmate. Drinking Beverage

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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11-02-2013, 09:07 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card



For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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11-02-2013, 09:17 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
[Image: official-man-card-revoked.jpg?w=526&h=306]

I'm sorry i have to do this. Turn in your badge, gun and testicles.
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11-02-2013, 09:30 AM
RE: Turning In My Man-Card
Can I at least keep the beer-belly?

(Oh who am I kidding...)

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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