Uncomfortable with being open about sexuality
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24-04-2016, 07:01 AM
Uncomfortable with being open about sexuality
So, I've always been sort of not knowing what the heck is going on in the world inside my head. I've never had a basic grasp of what sexuality is, I've always had a hard time identifying as gay straight or bisexual, I usually just say I'm either "complicated" when it comes to sexuality, or I just say I have very specific preferences.

That's the short answer. The longer answer would be, I've never really understood sexuality. Even though I am mostly into guys, I've been drawn to gay people and gay chat rooms ever since I was in my mid teens at high school and xbox live. I never actually would think that I am actually into guys, but I always sort of wished I was because I liked the idea of that more than being straight.

So, that really makes no sense, even when I look at it. Maybe in some outsider perspective it makes more sense, or maybe it makes less sense. The main problem though, is that even though I may be mostly interested in guys, I don't know how to talk to people about sexuality in person. I iron clad avoid the subject, even though my parents are super pro gay and organize gay events for the city, have so many gay friends who are like, actual friends who come over and have parties.

It's not that I haven't talked about it with them before. I have mentioned that I like some guys on very rare occasions, but it just makes me feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable. I say that I'm mostly interested in women, even though I never even pay that much attention to women. To be honest, I find most guys unattractive though. My taste in guys is so specific, I may siphon out a handful of guys who are attractive enough to me on a physical level, let alone someone who looks like an interesting person. That's extremely rare!

It's just so weird, because like, I've made hundreds of threads about this issue on lgbt forums, I've frequented lgbt chat rooms for many years, I used to just say that I identify as straight when I'd go there, but now I say I like guys and I have preferences because that's true. It's just like, no one ever explained to me that some people don't understand their sexuality very well, even when they're in their 20s. Hell, schools don't even teach about safe gay sex! That's stupid, but I would have never thought to ask that in high school, but if I went back and did it again I would! I'd literally ask that in health class.

So, sorry this thread is so disjointed, but I honestly don't know a succinct way of writing this out. I just have all these thoughts on the issue, I keep on finding new things I want to explain and understand. Thank you to sincerely to anyone who read this!
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24-04-2016, 07:06 AM
RE: Uncomfortable with being open about sexuality
Gay, straight, it is all the same.

Don't worry about it.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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24-04-2016, 07:36 AM
RE: Uncomfortable with being open about sexuality
If you came in a package from a manufacturer - there'd probably be a stamp on the packaging that indicated your specifications -- which no doubt would include your sexual preferences.

But you didn't.

....

Consider it a DIY kinda project.

....

You'll have to figure it out as you go along.......

It's half the fun.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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24-04-2016, 07:43 AM
RE: Uncomfortable with being open about sexuality
You do not have to place yourself into categories for other people! You can be comfortable with ambiguity-feel uncertain, and allow yourself to feel free enough to not place yourself into a box. Your sexuality is your business. There are people who feel little to no sexual interest at all- for a period of time, or for a long time- and that is their own normal. There are people who have very specific interests, and that is their own normal. If you feel confused, then that is where you are. That is OK- do not force yourself to rid yourself of confusion, just accept it and allow it to exist while you are going ahead with life. "I do not know" is a perfectly acceptable response when you are uncertain about something, it is rational and courageous to allow yourself to be uncertain.

The biology of mind bridges the sciences - concerned with the natural world - and the humanities - concerned with the meaning of human experience. Eric Kandel
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