Unresolved anger from religion
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26-03-2014, 11:51 AM
Unresolved anger from religion
As I've been looking inward more and more lately, I've come to realize that I have a few unresolved issues from my theist days that I am having trouble letting go of.

The first is my lack of education. I am woefully uneducated on many things, I never went to college past Community College because I refused to go to a religious school and my parents wouldn't pay for anything else. This has left me with huge knowledge gaps in things like science and technology. I am completely self taught in both fields and have a great understanding of some really complex topics, but there are still times when I have to look up something that is rather basic when learning about new concepts. It's infuriating to me that I don't know things that I would have been taught in a intro to physics class. All because some backwoods preacher convinced my parents that science is the debil... FUCK!

The other thing is this anger that boils inside me every time my family starts talking about religion. They are not polite about non-christians. Even the few that know I'm an atheist will still do it just to poke at me. They'll start a dinner conversation about how some atheist is trying to get X religious article out of a courthouse, or whatever, and then start going on about ALL atheists being dickheads with nothing better to do. The most infuriating thing about it is that they THINK that they're trying to re-convert me by showing me how terrible atheists are. Dodgy Fucking seriously?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH! FUCK!

Ok, I'm gonna take some deep breaths right now and calm the fuck down. Those of you who never had to deal with religion growing up, you have my fiercest jealousy right now.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 11:56 AM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
I know exactly what you're going through. My father just recently tried to get me to go see a reverend. When I refused he gave the reverend my email...

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26-03-2014, 12:05 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 11:56 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  I know exactly what you're going through. My father just recently tried to get me to go see a reverend. When I refused he gave the reverend my email...

I can only be so polite in situations like that. I had someone close to me do something similar. I got invited to a party where their pastor just happened to be at (not drinking or partying at all). Almost as soon as I got there, they sent the pastor after me. I really really tried to be polite as he regurgitated tired old apologetics at me. It didn't work. The first thing that came out of my mouth was so snarky and assholish that I immediately regretted saying it. I just want to grab people like that by the throat and scream in their face.

"Think for yourself. Question authority. Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities — the political, the religious, the educational authorities — who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing — forming in our minds — their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself." - Leary

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 12:11 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 11:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Ok, I'm gonna take some deep breaths right now and calm the fuck down. Those of you who never had to deal with religion growing up, you have my fiercest jealousy right now.

Sleepy

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26-03-2014, 12:18 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:05 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 11:56 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  I know exactly what you're going through. My father just recently tried to get me to go see a reverend. When I refused he gave the reverend my email...

I can only be so polite in situations like that. I had someone close to me do something similar. I got invited to a party where their pastor just happened to be at (not drinking or partying at all). Almost as soon as I got there, they sent the pastor after me. I really really tried to be polite as he regurgitated tired old apologetics at me. It didn't work. The first thing that came out of my mouth was so snarky and assholish that I immediately regretted saying it. I just want to grab people like that by the throat and scream in their face.

"Think for yourself. Question authority. Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities — the political, the religious, the educational authorities — who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing — forming in our minds — their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself." - Leary

I rarely get mad, more often than not I just get frustrated that i (as a 19 year old) have to explain basic science, math, logic and language skills to my superiors.

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26-03-2014, 12:28 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 11:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Even the few that know I'm an atheist will still do it just to poke at me.

to these people- be calm, be direct and be firm and call them out on it. Ask them why they think its ok to do this to you? When did it become ok for them to poke you about your atheism and ask them how they would like it if you started in on them about their beliefs 'just for fun'.


call them out, make them give reasons for their horrid behavior, tell them that its not going to be tolerated any longer. Remind them of the 'do unto others' rule.

they won't stop until you speak up for yourself.


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26-03-2014, 12:37 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:18 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 12:05 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I can only be so polite in situations like that. I had someone close to me do something similar. I got invited to a party where their pastor just happened to be at (not drinking or partying at all). Almost as soon as I got there, they sent the pastor after me. I really really tried to be polite as he regurgitated tired old apologetics at me. It didn't work. The first thing that came out of my mouth was so snarky and assholish that I immediately regretted saying it. I just want to grab people like that by the throat and scream in their face.

"Think for yourself. Question authority. Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities — the political, the religious, the educational authorities — who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing — forming in our minds — their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself." - Leary

I rarely get mad, more often than not I just get frustrated that i (as a 19 year old) have to explain basic science, math, logic and language skills to my superiors.

Yeah. A lot of my anger stems from pulling myself out of the trap of religion and reasoning my way into apostasy. There's always this part of my brain that screams "It's so fucking obvious! Why can't you grasp this." when I'm offering refutations to blatantly stupid defenses of religion.

I feel torn. I know I should be more sympathetic, a lot of what they are saying were once my beliefs as well. I should be trying to come up with things that will make them question their own beliefs, but I keep running into the old "You can lead a horse to water" problem. The things that lead me to disbelieve sort of just fell into place in my head and it frustrates me when these things just don't get past the wall of cognitive dissonance that they put up.

I dunno. It's why I try to avoid arguments with theists most of the time. It feels a lot like masturbating without the finish. Kinda feels good while you're doing it, but you just end up more frustrated than you were before.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 12:39 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:28 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 11:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Even the few that know I'm an atheist will still do it just to poke at me.

to these people- be calm, be direct and be firm and call them out on it. Ask them why they think its ok to do this to you? When did it become ok for them to poke you about your atheism and ask them how they would like it if you started in on them about their beliefs 'just for fun'.


call them out, make them give reasons for their horrid behavior, tell them that its not going to be tolerated any longer. Remind them of the 'do unto others' rule.

they won't stop until you speak up for yourself.

Listen to the lady - she's talkin' sense.

Don't ever let people shame you, family or not.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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26-03-2014, 12:42 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:28 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 11:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Even the few that know I'm an atheist will still do it just to poke at me.

to these people- be calm, be direct and be firm and call them out on it. Ask them why they think its ok to do this to you? When did it become ok for them to poke you about your atheism and ask them how they would like it if you started in on them about their beliefs 'just for fun'.


call them out, make them give reasons for their horrid behavior, tell them that its not going to be tolerated any longer. Remind them of the 'do unto others' rule.

they won't stop until you speak up for yourself.

The biggest problem is that they do it around people that I don't want to know I'm an atheist. My grandmothers are both quite elderly and extremely religious. It quite literally might give them a heart attack to find out that I'm an evil atheist.

I do try to be calm and polite and the few times I've spoken up about their behavior in general (telling them speaking like that is not very christ-like), I've gotten more grief and guilt than it was worth. They really are sweet people, they just truly believe that I'm misguided and deceived. They see it as their sacred duty to keep me from going to hell.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 12:42 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:37 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 12:18 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  I rarely get mad, more often than not I just get frustrated that i (as a 19 year old) have to explain basic science, math, logic and language skills to my superiors.

Yeah. A lot of my anger stems from pulling myself out of the trap of religion and reasoning my way into apostasy. There's always this part of my brain that screams "It's so fucking obvious! Why can't you grasp this." when I'm offering refutations to blatantly stupid defenses of religion.

I feel torn. I know I should be more sympathetic, a lot of what they are saying were once my beliefs as well. I should be trying to come up with things that will make them question their own beliefs, but I keep running into the old "You can lead a horse to water" problem. The things that lead me to disbelieve sort of just fell into place in my head and it frustrates me when these things just don't get past the wall of cognitive dissonance that they put up.

I dunno. It's why I try to avoid arguments with theists most of the time. It feels a lot like masturbating without the finish. Kinda feels good while you're doing it, but you just end up more frustrated than you were before.

Lol, nice analogy. But yeah get what you mean man. Just stick up for yourself, it's really the only thing you can do.
...or buy me a plane ticket and let me roast your family Laugh out load

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