Unresolved anger from religion
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26-03-2014, 12:44 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:42 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 12:28 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  to these people- be calm, be direct and be firm and call them out on it. Ask them why they think its ok to do this to you? When did it become ok for them to poke you about your atheism and ask them how they would like it if you started in on them about their beliefs 'just for fun'.


call them out, make them give reasons for their horrid behavior, tell them that its not going to be tolerated any longer. Remind them of the 'do unto others' rule.

they won't stop until you speak up for yourself.

The biggest problem is that they do it around people that I don't want to know I'm an atheist. My grandmothers are both quite elderly and extremely religious. It quite literally might give them a heart attack to find out that I'm an evil atheist.

I do try to be calm and polite and the few times I've spoken up about their behavior in general (telling them speaking like that is not very christ-like), I've gotten more grief and guilt than it was worth. They really are sweet people, they just truly believe that I'm misguided and deceived. They see it as their sacred duty to keep me from going to hell.

Never do it publicly. It's best to do it in a one-on-one basis.

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26-03-2014, 12:47 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 11:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  All because some backwoods preacher convinced my parents that science is the debil... FUCK!

So, science is the debil, right?
Here's what I say to the preacher:
Give me your clothes, money, bible, books, and all of your belongings.
Now, since you know how to write, the preacher must kill himself because he is doing the devil's work from knowing how to write, read, and speak. (And even walk.)

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26-03-2014, 01:10 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:44 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 12:42 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  The biggest problem is that they do it around people that I don't want to know I'm an atheist. My grandmothers are both quite elderly and extremely religious. It quite literally might give them a heart attack to find out that I'm an evil atheist.

I do try to be calm and polite and the few times I've spoken up about their behavior in general (telling them speaking like that is not very christ-like), I've gotten more grief and guilt than it was worth. They really are sweet people, they just truly believe that I'm misguided and deceived. They see it as their sacred duty to keep me from going to hell.

Never do it publicly. It's best to do it in a one-on-one basis.

I have had discussions with a few of the worst offenders privately. My aunt is by far the worst. Even though she keeps saying that she respects my life choices, her actions speak otherwise. She was the first to know of my atheism and has been the ring leader ever since. In private discussion, she says that she is only doing it out of love and would feel like she was betraying God if she "gave up on me". It's getting to the point that I don't want to go to family functions anymore and that's something I desperately want to avoid. I love my family and they have been there for me in all other aspects of my life.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 01:14 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 12:47 PM)Alex_Leonardo Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 11:51 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  All because some backwoods preacher convinced my parents that science is the debil... FUCK!

So, science is the debil, right?
Here's what I say to the preacher:
Give me your clothes, money, bible, books, and all of your belongings.
Now, since you know how to write, the preacher must kill himself because he is doing the devil's work from knowing how to write, read, and speak. (And even walk.)

I know all the smart ass retorts about denying science and not being allowed to use any type of technology (even woven cloth is technology). As I said, was less than polite to the pastor that cornered me, but that was mainly because I didn't know him and didn't care about offending or upsetting him. I'd probably do the same to any holy man that was sent my way. I only feel the need to be polite to those that I care about when it comes to religion. All others can go to hell for all I care. You come to me with your bullshit, be prepared to have your face covered in it when I throw it back.

The problem is that my family is very clever and knows that I will do everything I can to keep the older generation from stroking out over it.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 01:22 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 01:10 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 12:44 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Never do it publicly. It's best to do it in a one-on-one basis.

I have had discussions with a few of the worst offenders privately. My aunt is by far the worst. Even though she keeps saying that she respects my life choices, her actions speak otherwise. She was the first to know of my atheism and has been the ring leader ever since. In private discussion, she says that she is only doing it out of love and would feel like she was betraying God if she "gave up on me". It's getting to the point that I don't want to go to family functions anymore and that's something I desperately want to avoid. I love my family and they have been there for me in all other aspects of my life.

For this particular person- you need to find a way to be direct, firm and I would probably get in her face (especially if that isn't the way you normally are) just to send the message home.

Tell her "I have discussed this with you before. I'm tired of it. I won't tolerate it. You are being disrespectful to me. Stop using God as an excuse for being mean. Just STOP"


She does it because she knows your 'secret'. And she will use it as long as it feels like a 'secret' to you. When you decide that it doesn't matter who in the family knows, she will no longer have this power over you.

Old ladies have heard *many* shocking things in their years.....I know we try to protect the elderly, but honestly they are pretty damn tough if they've made it all those years. They can handle it.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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26-03-2014, 01:28 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 01:22 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 01:10 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I have had discussions with a few of the worst offenders privately. My aunt is by far the worst. Even though she keeps saying that she respects my life choices, her actions speak otherwise. She was the first to know of my atheism and has been the ring leader ever since. In private discussion, she says that she is only doing it out of love and would feel like she was betraying God if she "gave up on me". It's getting to the point that I don't want to go to family functions anymore and that's something I desperately want to avoid. I love my family and they have been there for me in all other aspects of my life.

For this particular person- you need to find a way to be direct, firm and I would probably get in her face (especially if that isn't the way you normally are) just to send the message home.

Tell her "I have discussed this with you before. I'm tired of it. I won't tolerate it. You are being disrespectful to me. Stop using God as an excuse for being mean. Just STOP"


She does it because she knows your 'secret'. And she will use it as long as it feels like a 'secret' to you. When you decide that it doesn't matter who in the family knows, she will no longer have this power over you.

Old ladies have heard *many* shocking things in their years.....I know we try to protect the elderly, but honestly they are pretty damn tough if they've made it all those years. They can handle it.

^^This.
I would also like to add: Tell her if she continues you will stop contact with her. If she cares, she will stop.

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26-03-2014, 01:32 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
As to your education, there's still time. Never stop learning, whether by reading on your own or a delayed formal education at college or university.

Until then, here's a clue: Half of mastering any subject is learning where to look stuff up. Only a few will retain every formula, every definition, every reference. The rest of us learn how to google or index or glossary to remind ourselves of the answer. Shhh. Don't tell anyone else, K?

As to those pushing their god agenda, each situation will need a tailor-made solution. But the sooner you put your foot down, the sooner they will leave you alone.

Good luck.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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26-03-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
I feel for you, I went through something very similar at your age.

After many fights and bitter arguments I moved out, worked part time and went to college. It took me along time to finish school this way but I did.

Getting out may be your only out.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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26-03-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 01:22 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 01:10 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I have had discussions with a few of the worst offenders privately. My aunt is by far the worst. Even though she keeps saying that she respects my life choices, her actions speak otherwise. She was the first to know of my atheism and has been the ring leader ever since. In private discussion, she says that she is only doing it out of love and would feel like she was betraying God if she "gave up on me". It's getting to the point that I don't want to go to family functions anymore and that's something I desperately want to avoid. I love my family and they have been there for me in all other aspects of my life.

For this particular person- you need to find a way to be direct, firm and I would probably get in her face (especially if that isn't the way you normally are) just to send the message home.

Tell her "I have discussed this with you before. I'm tired of it. I won't tolerate it. You are being disrespectful to me. Stop using God as an excuse for being mean. Just STOP"


She does it because she knows your 'secret'. And she will use it as long as it feels like a 'secret' to you. When you decide that it doesn't matter who in the family knows, she will no longer have this power over you.

Old ladies have heard *many* shocking things in their years.....I know we try to protect the elderly, but honestly they are pretty damn tough if they've made it all those years. They can handle it.

I "know" what needs to be done. I think I knew that much when I posted this thread. I just am not looking forward to the fight and backlash it's going to cause. You have to understand that my family is a bunch of travel agents for guilt trips. Catholicism's got nothing on them. They think they are sly and clever about the guilt trips and deny it any time it is brought up. It's "not a guilt trip" it's an "I care about your life" type of thing to them. They will twist words to make themselves sound like the noble one and make me out to be the unthankful, disrespectful one. All it does is piss me off even more.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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26-03-2014, 01:49 PM
RE: Unresolved anger from religion
(26-03-2014 01:14 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 12:47 PM)Alex_Leonardo Wrote:  So, science is the debil, right?
Here's what I say to the preacher:
Give me your clothes, money, bible, books, and all of your belongings.
Now, since you know how to write, the preacher must kill himself because he is doing the devil's work from knowing how to write, read, and speak. (And even walk.)

I know all the smart ass retorts about denying science and not being allowed to use any type of technology (even woven cloth is technology). As I said, was less than polite to the pastor that cornered me, but that was mainly because I didn't know him and didn't care about offending or upsetting him. I'd probably do the same to any holy man that was sent my way. I only feel the need to be polite to those that I care about when it comes to religion. All others can go to hell for all I care. You come to me with your bullshit, be prepared to have your face covered in it when I throw it back.

The problem is that my family is very clever and knows that I will do everything I can to keep the older generation from stroking out over it.

Tell the offenders that if they keep doing that shit in front of the grannies, it will be their fault when you respond in kind.

Christians seem to understand that logic.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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