Up shit creek
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27-02-2014, 08:14 AM
RE: Up shit creek
do you have accounts with this person?

empty and close them RIGHT NOW!! not later today…NOW!

do you have anyone that can wire you some emergency $ ? family? old friends? If you are friends with your ex--I would try him too. Seriously- survival first.

call and ask for it.

go to the University crisis center and ask for help. I am sure you are not the only student that has been in this situation. They might have a spot in a dorm for you and possibly a job.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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27-02-2014, 08:21 AM
RE: Up shit creek
I wouldn't ask my ex. We are cordial, our split was due simply to an incompatibility. But he was just diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer so I won't put more stress on him.
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27-02-2014, 08:26 AM
RE: Up shit creek
That boyfriend was bad news - period. You are probably lucky to have gotten out. All that controlling and jealousy and accusing is commonly indicative of an abuser.

Definitely look to the school for help....

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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27-02-2014, 09:59 AM
RE: Up shit creek
(27-02-2014 07:02 AM)natachan Wrote:  A little over a year ago I started a relationship with this guy. Talented, smart, fun, etc. just one problem, he is immensely jealous. I knew this and I was cautious, but I wanted us to work. I'm also currently going through a divorce from my husband whom I've been separated from for some time. I have the old bank account we shared, but he no longer has access to it.

My boyfriend accuses me of secretly funneling money to my ex. He accuses me of cheating on him with my ex. If I go to the store and take too long he accuses me of meeting other guys. A while ago he knocked me up (I miscarried) and he accused me of cheating on him.

But I love him and I want to make it work. However last night he says we are breaking up because he thinks I have him chlamydia. I didn't, he has a prostate infection. But he says he doesn't care anymore and so out I go.

I don't have a job. I moved to oklahoma so I don't know anyone around here and I'm out of money. I spent all my money (about $6000) paying up the mortgage and the truck because that's what you do when you're with someone. Now that money which was supposed to cover my living expenses for six months is gone and I'm broke and homeless.



In your post you say a couple of times "I want us to work" and so have your actions and choices. What I don't read in your post is where HE wants anything to work.......anything other than his own insecurities that is.
You can spend hours in the self-help section of Barnes and Nobles reading till you're blue in the face on HOW to build a relationship with someone who doesn't value themselves much less others............. but really........... is that how you want to spend your time?
Now I'm a firm believer in *you cannot help who you love*. I happen to think loving feelings just work that way. BUT you CAN help how you live.

You can't always get what you want. But you just might find........ you get what you need.
(epic song)

So............ look to those bulletin boards where you go to school - look for a roommate slot. FIND a place to live. Borrow a few bucks from a friend or family member IF you possibly can. FIND A JOB (parttime) ASAP...........
and get away from It's-All-About-Me-Man !!!
Unless he's very Very young I'm not sure his attitude can be repaired. He sounds broken to me.

Nope..........grab the opportunity to do YOUR own life. No matter how difficult it may seem. AND in 6 months to a year from now - Ahhh the reward of Not settling for what does NOT make you happy and fulfilled - shall be yours.

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27-02-2014, 05:35 PM
RE: Up shit creek
You've got a lot of great advice in here, I say follow it as best you can. I wanted to at least offer a hug Hug

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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27-02-2014, 07:10 PM (This post was last modified: 27-02-2014 07:22 PM by Cathym112.)
RE: Up shit creek
(27-02-2014 07:47 AM)Dee Wrote:  Get rid of him and fast: Jealousy, accusations, lies are red flag control methods. I am talking about abuse. I know this because I work at a Domestic Violence Shelter for women. I also know you have "no power" in this relationship. Go to a Shelter; start calling today.

Also, that you love a dangerous person says that somewhere your sense of boundaries are out of whack. Likely because somewhere in your early life your sense of self--body and psyche--were violated, not necessarily in a sexual manner.

Please get out of the relationship--fast. It will not get better.

Abuse is only if he hits you--FALSE!

Agree with Dee. Not because I worked in a shelter, but because my first boyfriend used to hit me. A lot. Before he did that though, he used to control me with jealousy, trying to isolate me, and running hot/cold.

Every fight was my fault. Gradually he drained all my self esteem. Also, the cheating thing...yeah. He was the one who was cheating and accusing me of it.

We fought hard and we fucked hard. It was toxic relationship I just couldn't be strong enough to leave.

Get out as soon as you can. Be safe. You deserve to be happy.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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27-02-2014, 07:31 PM
RE: Up shit creek
Sending Hug and I agree with what everyone else has said, DLJ and bows and arrows nailed it!

I'm sorry you're going through this.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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27-02-2014, 07:41 PM
RE: Up shit creek
My ex wife acted this way too. Turns out she was the one cheating. Sometimes people lash out with accusations to cover up the shame they feel about their own infidelity. Or, by labeling you as a cheater, they somehow justify their own indiscretions.

but yeah, all these people are giving you good advice by saying to get away from this douche nozzle. He's bad news. Get out before the abuse shifts from emotional to physical.
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28-02-2014, 12:05 AM (This post was last modified: 28-02-2014 02:30 AM by Taqiyya Mockingbird.)
RE: Up shit creek
(27-02-2014 07:57 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  
(27-02-2014 07:52 AM)natachan Wrote:  It gets more fun!

I'm in school. When I moved I became an out of state student. I've taken out loans. My ONLY option is to finish my degree.

Check out what support the university may be able to offer you.

I would think that your university would have counselors, right? Talk to one RIGHT AWAY.

And for "heavens sake", GTFO of that relationship RIGHT NOW. Don't even THINK of going back. You just got dealt the ultimate abuser power-play. I've been there -- don't fucking go back, it will only get worse.

What's your home state? Do you have family or friends who could help you get out and/or back on your feet? You said you were homeless now? Are there local homeless services where you are at? Here in Denver the local homeless services will buy you a bus ticket to anywhere in the CONUS to get you home.

It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


Magic Talking Snakes STFU -- revenantx77


You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
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28-02-2014, 03:00 AM
RE: Up shit creek
If his behaviour is consistent with people who are cheating and he is accusing you of giving him chlamydia, maybe that's a further admission of guilt on his part.
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