Vague, Meaningless Title
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06-12-2012, 11:45 AM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
Children are natural scientists. They are instinctively and honestly inquisitive. My younger cousins often astound me with their knowledge, their questions, and their reasoning. They are more reasonable than many adults I have dealt with.

Don't ever beat that out of your child. It was to me, and the majority of us. Don't. I respect you for your slow, subtle approach. That's the way it is to be done.

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06-12-2012, 11:54 AM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
(06-12-2012 02:40 AM)kpax Wrote:  Looking for some input....

Me and my 12 year old daughter were watching a science show about evolution. Me, being an atheist, and me not telling her yet, decided to test the waters a little, again. I quickly explained to her the differences between the Christian view of how we got here and the show we were about to watch and why the two views conflict.

At the end I asked her "so what do you think? Who do you think is more correct, the Christian view on how we got here or the science show we just watched?"

She said:

"To be honest.....the science show we just watched..."

I was a little shocked. She grew up going to church and singing in church. On the flip side, she's never really talking about God and she is a science lover.

I am just tip toeing around and testing the waters on when/how to tell her. I'm not really sure how to do it or even when. She seems like she would be open about it and who knows...maybe she is an atheist, too?

My main concern is not influencing her opinion on Christianity. I wouldn't want her to be an atheist just because I am. I would want her to reach her own conclusions.

I'm also scared to shock her, as she knew that I was a big believer in God. So I'm just not sure if it's too early to tell her or maybe I should wait when she's older? Or maybe I should tell her because she will probably hear it through family since i just came out to them a couple weeks ago. Or? I'm confused on what to do!

What do you guys think?
I'm not sure I can offer any useful advice because I'm in the same boat. I have an 11 year old daughter who I also haven't had this discussion with. My wife and I attend a Unitarian Universalist church largely for her (and in part for my wife who is a deist) so that she can be exposed to various religious viewpoints as well as atheism and someday decide for herself what's true without being overly influenced by one particular viewpoint. I'm simply waiting until she gets to be more like 14 or 15 and is able to think at deeper levels than now. Then I plan to have a discussion with her about where she is at with her thinking. I may get into my own atheism then or, if it seems like I would be stomping too hard on her own beliefs, I may just discuss the atheist point of view in general without revealing yet that it's what I believe. I'll play that by ear when the time comes. She has never asked what I believe so I have been able to avoid discussing it so far. However, if she does ask at some point that also may change everything because I won't give her a dishonest answer.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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06-12-2012, 11:57 AM
RE: What are your thoughts on this?
(06-12-2012 03:04 AM)Aseptic Skeptic Wrote:  On a side note, for crying out loud, is it too frickin hard to put something meaningful in the title so we can tell before opening a thread whether we want to participate or not?

These vague, meaningless titles drive me NUTS!
But, but... the subject has to do with her daughter's views about "God" and "God" is a vague, meaningless, title. Ohmy Smile

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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06-12-2012, 07:26 PM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
(06-12-2012 02:40 AM)kpax Wrote:  What do you guys think?

Don't think I'd tell her anything at all. Sounds like she's perfectly capable of finding her own metaphysics and will soon be trepidatious about telling you she don't believe that shit. I made a promise to the Catholic Church a long time ago (27 years now) that this atheist would not interfere with my children's Catholic upbringing in order to get married to my Catholic wife in a Catholic Church by a Catholic priest. I kept my promise and didn't dick with their metaphysics until they brought it up to me (all 4 did in their mid-to-late teens). But I never promised not to encourage them to study science and logic. Evil_monster All 4 are now fine young atheists and they got there all by themselves.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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06-12-2012, 07:31 PM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
You want her to come to her own conclusion and not be influenced by your decision?

But you raised her Christian, is she not already influenced by what she believes to be your decision?

What harm is there in telling her you lost your faith?
There are several chances for parenting in that, 1) being that you an atheist and you can explain why (she still has freedom of choice) and 2) That adults make mistakes, opinions are changing and you don't need to stuck with the same opinions all through life, times/opinions/society changes.

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06-12-2012, 07:36 PM (This post was last modified: 06-12-2012 07:46 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
Not sure whether you're talking to me or kpax, MuffinHead, but I'll assume it's me.

(06-12-2012 07:31 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  You want her to come to her own conclusion and not be influenced by your decision?

Why yes, yes I did. Very much so.

(06-12-2012 07:31 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  But you raised her Christian, is she not already influenced by what she believes to be your decision?

I most certainly did not raise my children as Catholics. I promised not to interfere, I didn't promise to participate.

(06-12-2012 07:31 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  What harm is there in telling her you lost your faith?

I made a promise to the Catholic Church. I kept my promise. The harm that would've occurred wouldn't have been to my children so much as it would've been to me.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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06-12-2012, 07:47 PM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
(06-12-2012 07:36 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Not sure whether you're talking to me or kpax, MuffinHead, but I'll assume it's me.

(06-12-2012 07:31 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  You want her to come to her own conclusion and not be influenced by your decision?

Why yes, yes I did. Very much so.

(06-12-2012 07:31 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  But you raised her Christian, is she not already influenced by what she believes to be your decision?

I most certainly did not raise my children as Catholics. I promised not to interfere, I didn't promise to participate.

(06-12-2012 07:31 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  What harm is there in telling her you lost your faith?

I made a promise to the Catholic Church. I kept my promise. The harm that would've occurred wouldn't have been to my children so much as it would've been to me.
Pretty sure you're hearing voices, Bob.

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06-12-2012, 07:53 PM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
Quote:Not sure whether you're talking to me or kpax, MuffinHead, but I'll assume it's me.

You assumed wrong.

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06-12-2012, 07:54 PM
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
(06-12-2012 07:53 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
Quote:Not sure whether you're talking to me or kpax, MuffinHead, but I'll assume it's me.

You assumed wrong.
He does that around this time of night.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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06-12-2012, 07:55 PM (This post was last modified: 06-12-2012 07:58 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Vague, Meaningless Title
(06-12-2012 07:47 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Pretty sure you're hearing voices, Bob.

Maybe so, but if so, I blame these damn earmuffs, wasn't told they came with builtin radio receivers when I bought them.

(06-12-2012 07:54 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(06-12-2012 07:53 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  You assumed wrong.
He does that around this time of night.

And yet, kpax still might find my response of use nonetheless. ... Fuckers.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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